I’ve been lost for quite some time now. I’m not sure where I’m going and not sure what I want to do most of the time. As I’ve been wandering through life lately, I’ve become frustrated because I’m trying to find a reason to do something, be somewhere, find my purpose. Because of that frustration, I’ve deemed wandering as a negative thing. Not having answers to what I want or how to do something has felt like a curse. It appears to me that so many people know exactly what they want and they just go for it and brace for whatever is to come.
This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten lost on the path and wandered. In times past, panic entered my body because being lost was unsettling, it was an unfamiliar experience. Now, as I’ve been wandering for the last few years, I’ve felt defeated. Here I am. Lost again. But, I’ve found a new perspective on it. Wandering is actually a blessing. It is exploring and when you wander, you open yourself up to whatever may come your way.
When I’ve been wandering, I’ve met people who changed my life, discovered projects that fed a craving even if it may have been brief, and experienced life in ways I may not have been able to if I was walking down one true path. I’ve been able to try on different hats and find new perspectives. I’ve been able to so confidently ask why. Why are these things important to me? Why do I feel dissatisfied? Why is this thing satisfying? Why do I get my energy from doing this certain task? Why?
I don’t know how long I may be wandering for or if I’ll stop. A part of me desperately wants to stop wandering and know what is coming next because that feels stable. But, I believe I’ve been stable in my exploration which opens the world up wide to me. Maybe I am someone who is meant to wander, dance, explore the world, and ask why.
Wandering has given me so much so, I won’t begrudgingly wander anymore. I might get lost and frustrated along the way here and there but, I know looking back I will be grateful for what I’ve learned. Being a wanderer and explorer has changed my life time and time again because it has the power to create realities that I couldn’t even dream of living.
Wander on.