In MBSR we understand that prolonged musing about the future is equally futile as staying wedded to the past. Yet there is a kind of future that feels very much in the present: the loss of a future that we had assumed or imagined would be. We need to find new meaning again when challenged by loss of that which we held precious - and so we grief. In that way we grief not only the death of a loved one, but also the termination of any kind of relationship, or indeed the end of our dreams, or the loss of health, a pain free body, or our feeling of safety when exposed to violence, or the loss of what we thought was normal or of what we thought we understood.

Not only have we actually experienced a loss, we also feel lost. More than anything, we yearn to understand and to find meaning ... and so to regain a sense of wholeness. This process can be a profound struggle, even if some of these losses might be more diffuse. So where do we find support, especially in a world where we have to move on, get over it, get on with life, be strong? Traditional funeral rites give us a clue. In many places our modern society has watered down these rites - which have been observed for as long as humans have lived and loved together - yet, we can still instinctively feel the value of gathering and remembering those we have lost to death. What is necessary then to facilitate the healing process with any form of loss is this: the finding of meaning in the shared witnessing of our grief.

David Kessler, one of the world's foremost experts on grief, writes in Finding Meaning. The Sixth Stage of Grief:

"Each person's grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn't mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining."

The more mindful we become, the more we can show up for others and for ourselves in this way. So we continue to develop and grow our mindfulness practice, with a focus on compassion and self-compassion, tapping into and extending loving kindness to ourselves and to others, both during our meditations and in daily life. As we learn to share our true feelings, we also start to put aside the should's around when or how we "should" have completed our grieving process. Finding a few treasured people we are close to, and experiencing and sharing the full depth of our emotions with them, will expose our own true strength and assist us in being - again and again - present in this very moment.

Summer Meyer

Executive Director

As always, we are also here for you as a support system, yet please consult a mental health practitioner if your road through grief becomes too rough.