How's everyone doing? Fine. Okay. Hanging in there. Meh. Same old, same old. That's what I find myself saying and often what I hear back from others.
How are our children doing? Let's face it, the answer to this question largely impacts how we are doing. We feel better when our kids are thriving. But, many kids are struggling right now. This past year has been hard and relentless.
As parents we are having to face questions and make decisions about all kinds of things with frustratingly little insight into the consequences. Is it safe for my child to do X, Y, or Z? Should I be enforcing stronger limits on their use of tech and screens? Are they learning anything in remote school? Does my child need to see a therapist? Does my child have ADHD because they've lost motivation and the ability to focus and concentrate on school? I hear these concerns all the time. I wish I had the answers, but the truth is that I'm struggling with the same questions myself. [Point 1: You are not alone.]
My advice to parents is to create more opportunities to collaborate with their children. The goal is to uncover the thoughts and feelings underlying our kids’ concerning behaviors and attitudes so we can better help them and meet them where they are (not where we want them to be or think they should be). Currently the quote on my whiteboard is one by Walt Whitman, and recently highlighted by the Apple+ TV series character, Ted Lasso - Be curious. Not judgmental. This means we ask more questions and make fewer assumptions. Slowing down long enough to be curious will encourage empathy and help us to be less reactive and more patient with our kids. [Point 2: We need more Ted Lasso.]
Remember you don't need to have all the answers. You will make mistakes. You are doing the best you can in each unique moment. Our kids are watching and learning. Embrace this and your family will grow from your example and appreciate you. [Point 3: You are enough.]
Be well. Be safe. Be hopeful.
