In order for the biggest box office hit - titled Modern Culture - to continue, you had to play a role before you took your first breath. The role of the Victim. And if everything around you stays the same until the end of your life, you can compete for an Academy Award.

To win the Academy Award for Best Actor in the category of Victim, you must fulfill the following requirements:

• Give your center to everyone who interacts with you,

• Turn everyone around you into an authority figure (friends, co-workers, parents, siblings, bosses, teachers, or spiritual teachers) and blame them for your actions.

• Numbing your emotions and staying with a smile on your face so you won't be attacked (continuing to act and react with the good girl/boy box).

• Getting stuck in your thoughts, which float in analyses, concepts and conclusions about right and wrong and good and bad. In other words, you must always be in a state of confusion and inertia.

• Keep the emotions mixed so that you are always the one who feels the most pain, the most resentment, the one who has to pay the highest bills, and the one who tries harder than all the other competitors.

• You must be more powerless than Sleeping Beauty, because some savior will rescue you from this lonely place.

• You need to be a beggar, hungry for love, attention, and care, with the power to manipulate even the universe so that the attention is only for you.

• You must be more fragile than a newborn baby so that Persecutors and Rescuers can continue their work. The whole plot has to be about you, for you or against you, it doesn't matter. Everything is about you.

   

 
You may have felt some discomfort or pain as you read this list above. This pain can also be translated as anger, sadness, fear, joy, or a mixture of any of these. I invite you to take a deep breath, close your eyes and ask to one of these feelings: Anger (or sadness or fear or joy), what is there for me?
 

And where is the Gremlin in the victim's story?

In the process of accessing your consciousness and expanding your box, the Gremlin will maintain the role of Victim at all costs. His actions are like branches, trunks and barriers that cut off the flow of a river. In the place of the victim, you believe you must stay in the same place (the swamp) and this creates a fantasy world full of rules or statements such as: "You're not good enough" or "You can't do it."

In this case, your Gremlin is simply blocking access to expansion of consciousness. All "beeps" are seen as "criticism," feedback becomes "noise" or "judgment," and all the "Go's!" are simply not heard.

This vicious cycle can mean an addiction to the role of victim and, consequently, an addiction to Low Drama, "Dramalcolism". You can go through countless transformation processes and feel stuck in this place. This addiction creates a lot of adrenaline in your bloodstream and activates your survival strategies. The result is a completely distorted perception of reality, a constant noise in your ears telling stories like "Everyone is against me!”, "Nobody loves me." At this point, you paralyze your evolutionary process and enter this vicious cycle like a dog biting its own tail. A Low Drama addict is someone who creates and thrives on drama to fill the void in their life.

In this animation, resentment appears as a mountain of shit that grows as you create assumptions, expectations that turn into resentment and often revenge. This is neither good nor bad. It's real. Resentment blocks your relationship to the present moment, it blocks your relationship to the people around you.

The Being, as a Neutral Noticer, observes this movement from the outside and discovers where the exact triggers are where the process of evolution stops and the vicious circle begins. The Being as Researcher can discover where all the branches, trunks, barriers and leaves are blocking the flow of the river. From then on, you use your feelings as fuel to change routes, take non-linear paths, make suggestions, and create high drama so that the river continues on its natural course (which is what your being and your archetypal lineage came to do in this lifetime). Your Being is in charge.

Stepping Out of the Victim Role with Conscious Feelings

The more you slow down and give space between you and Low Drama, the more you will feel your Feelings. Conscious Feelings dissolves your inner resistances to becoming more conscious. This is a practice to see through your Box, which is reactive to external and internal demands, and through your Gremlin, which does things to destroys intimacy. If you allow yourself to feel all 4 feelings you create space between you and your old strategies (coming from Box and Gremlin) and your Being has the chance to act.

Conscious sadness allows you to feel connections. This leads to less resentment toward yourself and others. The more you feel your conscious sadness, the more you will respect your 5 bodies needs.

Conscious Fear takes you out of the fantasy world, throws you into the here and now, into your center, into a more crystalline connection with E.C.C.O. Conscious Anger is clearer, more precise and more authentic than any Gremlin strategy. It sets boundaries between your being and Low Drama and builds bridges to High Drama and to an authentic adulthood. Conscious Joy celebrates the process, builds teams and appreciate yourself for having achieved the capacity to see things differently NOW.

This is the first part of the article on stepping out of the victim role. To be continued.

May all beings benefit.

With love,

Marina Mello

Love. Transformation. Clarity. Possibility.  

An Introduction to Liquid State

by Marina Mello and Anja Rohlf