Mindful Social Media Usage
I think there is nothing more special than learning to listen to ourselves. Learning to grow alongside ourselves, trusting ourselves, and not letting the voices of others get into our heads. HOWEVER, something I've been thinking about this week, is how crucial it is to listen to what others have to say about us as well. Now, I'm not refering to everything others say about us, and I sure as heck am not talking about listening to what strangers have to say (i.e. if you recieve a nasty comment on your instagram... screw them. Don't listen to them.) But what I mean by that is, those who are super close to us. There's a fine balance between listening to others and listening to ourselves. Sometimes they see a more accurate representation/view of our habits and actions. They can call us out for things we're doing wrong, or things we are justifying to ourselves.
This past weekend, I was speaking with my partner about phone/social media use. I've always felt like I had a relatively healthy relationship with my device. I mean, my "screen time" app lets me know that my phone usage is notoriously lower than the average person, so I must be good, right? I can never seem to be able to bring myself to respond to text messages or emails, so I'm rarely on my phone to begin with. And to boot, I recently did an instagram "purge" where I unfollowed every account I followed (sorry, mom!) to rewrite the way I was mindlessly scrolling instagram stories/refreshing my feed (And it worked and was wonderful!). Whenever I do happen to use social media, I've always made sure that I did so while I was alone. That way I'd never be that friend who was constantly locking eyes with their trusty pocket-computer while they should be hanging out IRL. And I really do pride myself on that. Especially as someone who does this internet-human thing as a career. I always patted myelf on the back for it.
But as we chatted, he pointed out that he thinks I use my phone more than I think... and... he's totally right.
I'm always mindlessly updating my email inbox, or refreshing my instagram DMs, just for the mere dopamine effect or distraction from the present-moment-boredom. So while I might not be someone who is on my phone around friends, I certainly am using my phone unintentionally throughout the day, specifically when friends step out of the room or when I have a moment of looking to become distracted to "feel like I'm doing something" (when in reality I am certainly NOT). And what I want to emphasize here, is the pure unintentional use of my device. I really don't think using them is a bad thing, but when you have them in your hand just to look at and not actually use, there's a problem. And that problem only seeps its way into your time management, self confidence, and everything else you do, because you're devotiong your energy to something other than the present moment. You're giving your energy to "turn my brain off" distractions, rather than being here/congnisant of what you're doing.
And I sit here, reminiscing of the days when I could actually bring myself to respond to text messages, and when I felt like my social media usage was specifically for utilitarian/educational/inspirational pruposes... and it was circa 2013-ish, when I checked social media but twice a day, and only followed (/cared to follow) people who brought value to my life.
I recently decided to start following people on instagram again (after my month long detox/purge of unfollowing everyone), and have decided to only follow beings who bring me value, and no more than 100 at any given time. And after this weekend's reflection, my new addition to this mixure is that I only intend on checking social media once in the morning and once in the evening. The rest of my day will be filled with the present moment, even if I do happen to feel like I'd like an impulsive distraction. And I challenge you to do the same! And if anything, I encourage you to listen to others sometimes because they may just notice something you've chosen to supress. x
