Hardship and Resilience in Cohousing

Cohousing ABQ may not have its buildings constructed yet, but we’ve actually been conducting ourselves as a community for some time. We get together for our annual lantern walk, for potlucks and for hikes in the foothills, and we are also the developers of the Cohousing ABQ project, governing ourselves with a non-hierarchical system called Sociocracy. We’ve grown close by working together and through play. We’ve shared much joy, but we’ve also gone through some really tough times together. (continues below)

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November 18, 2021 at 7pm MDT

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November 20, 2021 at 1pm MDT

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(continued from above) Often when we talk about Cohousing we focus on the problems that Cohousing will solve. We’ll more effortlessly live in true community, sharing resources, being there for one another, fostering deeper connections and in so doing bring more meaning and joy into our lives. And all of those benefits of Cohousing are real. But sometimes we forget to talk about the fact that Cohousing can be hard. Conflicts can arise between neighbors, problems can arise within Cohousing that present the community with difficult decisions, and being in Cohousing does not make one immune to external threats like natural disasters, economic depressions or pandemics.

 

In the last year, Cohousing ABQ has faced some real hardships. Back in April we were just about ready to begin building. We had grown our membership to 25 households, and were getting ready to approach banks. And then we got updated prices from our builders and we were left in total shock. As you may know, the pandemic has dramatically affected the cost of construction. Supplies like lumber and steel and even labor costs have increased. For us, this would mean a significant increase in our home-prices. Over the past months we have explored every avenue for getting prices back down to what they once were. And we have not been successful. There have been many sleepless nights and many tears shed. Because ultimately, the price increases have led to the loss of many beloved future neighbors. We’d become really close, in part because we’d made a commitment to build this community together for as far into the future as we could see. In this world of constant change, people moving in and out of our lives, that was really something. Some members of the community have used the word “mourning” to describe the emotions they feel, both about leaving, and about having members leave. And I can say for myself that the word is certainly accurate.

 

Why would you share all of this, you may ask. Well, because it’s real. Hardship is a part of Cohousing too. And when the community is strong, so is resilience.

 

We have cried together, talked it through together and fallen into each other’s arms for long, loving hugs. And we pick ourselves up. We continue to work on solutions that may bring down prices to make the project as affordable as possible. We continue to celebrate life with members new and old through lantern walks, potlucks, and hikes in the foothills. And we get back to work to bring this beautiful vision to life.

 

We hope you will join us.

 

- Janey

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At Cohousing ABQ we aspire to be a multicultural community. We are actively working to attract people of diverse backgrounds. We would love to engage with you to work together from the ground up, creating a community with a wealth of diversity that works for everyone.

"It is not our differences that divide us. 

It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences"

- Audre Lorde

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