Welcome to WNTU, the guide to getting you through some of life's toughest and most misunderstood moments. Last week got crazy so there was no newsletter, but we're back today. I got a super cool opportunity to guest curate "Genius Steals," one of my favorite newsletters from fellow Geminis and advertising strategy gurus Rosie & Faris Yakob. Check out my contribution and full interview, including musings on where I find my inspiration, how I balance personal interests with being an entrepreneur, the best piece of advice I give to others, an exploration of the "mommy penalty," the financial value of caregivers in the workplace, and more. I had a great time writing it. Onto today's topic. This week, we're tackling a subject that's been largely overlooked but impacts all of us: Men's mental health. My guest, Lee Povey, has a fascinating journey - from professional cyclist to navigating a complex relationship with his narcissistic father, to becoming a leadership coach championing men's emotional well-being. Lee and I explore so much around the world of men's mental health, including dropping the labels of masculinity and femininity; how men can work to be a better husband, father & friend; the big struggle many men face in today's changing world; why therapy and men's groups can be game-changers (even for the skeptics); and practical tools for emotional management that you can start using today. I'm pulling out some of my favorite parts of my conversation with Lee with learnings you can apply ASAP, like these: 💔 Why Men Are Lonelier Than Women 💡 Top 10 Benefits of Men's Groups 🚫 Adios, Toxic Masculinity ✍🏽 Why You Should Start A "F*ck It Diary" As always, thanks for tuning in, subscribing and supporting WNTU. If you have a story you'd like to share on the podcast, please reach out. I'm always looking for new perspectives and experiences to feature. To all my readers in the U.S., have a safe and happy 4th of July! |
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Guest Spotlight: Lee Povey Professional Cyclist, Entrepreneur & Men's Coach |
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Lee Povey is a former professional cyclist turned executive coach and men's group facilitator based in the United States. With over 25 years of experience running men's groups, Lee has become a leading voice in men's emotional health and leadership development. Lee's unique approach, combining insights from athletics, business, and psychology, has helped countless men navigate personal and professional challenges. His journey from overcoming a difficult relationship with his narcissistic father to becoming a champion for emotional intelligence in leadership has inspired many men to change their lives. Through his coaching and men's groups, Lee continues to break down stereotypes about masculinity and create spaces for authentic personal growth. |
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Why Men Are Lonelier Than Women |
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"Men are much worse at creating community than women are. They aren't as good at keeping their friendships going. Their marriage ends, their kids are grown, and they're suddenly incredibly lonely." - Lee Povey In our hyper-connected world, it's ironic that loneliness has become a silent epidemic, particularly among men. Recent studies paint a stark picture of this crisis, which is only worsening: |
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First, a 2021 survey by the American Enterprise Institute found that the percentage of men with at least six close friends has dropped from 55% in 1990 to just 27% today. Further, a Survey Center on American Life revealed that 15% of men say they have no close friends at all, a number that has tripled in the last 30 years. The impact of this loneliness extends far beyond mere feelings of isolation. Research shows that chronic loneliness can be as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, weakens our immune system, and can lead to depression and anxiety. For men, the stigma around admitting to loneliness often compounds the problem. Societal expectations of male self-sufficiency can make it challenging for men to reach out and form new connections. Just taking the small step of reaching out to one person, joining a new community or participating in a men's group can make a lifelong difference. |
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Top 10 Benefits of Men's Group |
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Men's groups have been gaining traction as powerful tools for personal growth and emotional well-being, but they're still a mystery to many. Lee has been running these groups for over 25 years and has seen firsthand the transformative impact they can have. While the idea of opening up to a group of strangers might seem daunting or overwhelming, the benefits can quite literally be life-changing. Here are the top 10 benefits of joining a men's group, drawn from Lee's extensive experience: |
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Safe space for vulnerability: Lee emphasizes that men's groups provide a place where men can openly share their experiences and emotions without judgment or fear. He states, "If you can't experience fear healthily and you can't share that you're experiencing fear and therefore ask for help, you will make fearful decisions." Shared experiences: Lee points out the power of realizing you're not alone in your struggles. He says, "One of the things I love most about groups is somebody will share something, thinking they are the only person experiencing this thing, and I'll stop them and I'll just say, anybody else been through this? Or can anybody else relate to this? And all the hands will go up in a room." Diverse perspectives: Lee mentions that his groups include a wide range of men, stating, "We've got stay at home fathers... to billionaire business leaders in the same group." Focus on personal growth: Rather than dwelling on societal issues, Lee's groups concentrate on individual improvement. He says, "The people that I see are focused on being better versions of themselves, and the being a better man is a byproduct of being a better version of yourself." Improved communication skills: Lee notes that group participants learn "how they communicate with each other better," so they can ultimately be more effective communicators with their partners, families, and colleagues. Emotional intelligence development: The groups help men understand and manage their emotions better. Lee mentions, "They're talking about what scares them." Breaking stereotypes: Lee emphasizes that these groups challenge narrow definitions of masculinity, saying, "There is no way to be a man." Community building: Lee points out that these groups help combat the loneliness epidemic among men by creating supportive communities. Practical skill development: Lee mentions that participants learn "what emotional intelligence is and what communication is and how they have a better experience for themselves, for their partners, for their kids." Continuous support: Unlike one-off workshops or seminars, these groups provide ongoing support for long-term personal development.
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Lee hits the nail on the head when he says, "We all just want to be loved. We all just want to be appreciated, and we all really want to be in some form of connection." It's a simple truth that often gets buried under layers of societal expectations, especially for men. For too long, toxic masculinity has dominated the narrative. It's the idea that men must be tough, unemotional, and dominant at all times. This harmful concept encourages men to suppress their feelings, avoid seeking help, and do really dumb things to prove their "manhood." |
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Thankfully, the tides are turning. We're seeing a redefinition of masculinity that embraces emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and genuine connection. This new masculinity recognizes that strength isn't about suppressing emotions, but about having the courage to express them. It's about being secure enough in oneself to ask for help, to nurture relationships, and to prioritize mental health. The benefits are real. Men who embrace a more flexible view of masculinity report better mental health outcomes, more satisfying relationships, and a greater sense of overall well-being. They're more likely to seek help when they need it, to form deep friendships, and to be actively involved in their families' lives. For future generations, can you imagine a world where young boys grow up knowing it's okay to cry, to express fear or uncertainty, to seek emotional support? A world where men's mental health is prioritized, where seeking therapy isn't seen as a weakness but as a strength? Game-changer. This isn't easy, as it requires challenging deeply ingrained beliefs and behaviors. But as Lee's work shows, it's absolutely worth doing. |
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The "F*ck It" Diary: A Tool For Emotional Release |
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Lee Povey introduced me to an honest tool for emotional release, one that can work for you, too: The "F*ck It Diary." As he puts it, "I use something my clients called a f*ck it diary." It's a simple yet powerful concept that can be a game-changer for emotional well-being. The psychology behind journaling is solid. Studies have shown that expressive writing can help reduce stress, improve mood, and even boost immune function. The "F*ck It Diary" takes this a step further by providing a judgment-free zone for our rawest emotions. Here's a quick guide to creating your own: |
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📔 Get a dedicated notebook or journal. ✍🏽 Set aside time regularly to write – daily if possible. 😱 Write without censoring yourself. Let it all out. 📕 After writing, physically close the book to symbolically "close" those thoughts. 👋🏿 Don't reread entries immediately. Give yourself some distance. The key is to use this as a release valve, not a rumination tool. Write it down, then let it go. Not everyone's a writer, though, and that's okay. There are other ways to achieve a similar release: 📣 Voice recording: Speak your thoughts into a recorder, then delete the file. 🏃🏽♂️ Physical activity: Use exercise as a way to process emotions. 🎨 Art therapy: Draw or paint your feelings without worrying about artistic merit. 🙏 Mindfulness meditation: Observe your thoughts without judgment, then let them pass. The goal isn't to dwell on negative feelings, but to acknowledge them and then move forward. Whether it's through a "F*ck It Diary" or another method, it's all about finding a healthy way to process your emotions. |
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WNTU's Caregiver Program Development |
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Are you an HR professional or Chief People Officer who wants to support the caregivers in your organization but don't know where to start? Enter WNTU HR Caregiver & Working Parent Programming, where I partner with HR and People teams to develop bespoke programming to meet the specific needs of working caregivers. Companies and employees are at a critical tipping point: Employers need to support employees' holistic selves or risk losing them, while employees need to balance performance expectations with outside responsibilities, or else risk losing their jobs. |
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With over 15 years of ad agency, corporate and caregiving experience, I know exactly what support, tools and resources working caregivers need from their employers. Learn more about WTNU's capabilities, like coaching, workshops, HR programming, managerial training and more. |
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