Dakini's Whisper Monthly Journal - February 2023

A HOUSEHOLDER’S RETREAT

Stepping Away & Stepping Into

 

Intentional, Planned, and Focused Practice

“You can be in retreat,

but yet your mind wanders around the town.

You can wander around the town

but yet your mind is in retreat."

- His Holiness Dudjom Rinpoche

 INTRODUCTION

 

A Householder's Retreat means stepping away from our ordinary daily lives and “taking the essence” (chu-lenpa in Tibetan) from what our precious human lives offer us.  Many Dakini’s Whisper students recently completed a 3-Month Personal Householder Retreat. Aspiring to follow in the footsteps of our great masters who devoted their lives to dharma practice, they ‘stepped away’ from, perhaps self-grasping or self-cherishing habits, routines, or conditioned patterns, and ‘stepped into’ an intentional focus on Dharma practice - Lam Rim, Five Dakinis or Troma Nakmo. Choosing to devote some of their busy lives to create virtuous propensities and karma towards awakening, each person entered this retreat time from their own place and space, intention and motivation. In this February 2023 Journal, we offer generous and authentic reflections of their direct experiences, along with Khandro-la’s teachings on body, speech and mind retreat, and some wise inspiration from an ancient sage.

 

Let’s celebrate together the spiritual endeavor of yogis and yoginis in Dakini’s Whisper!

 

- Ellen (Yeshe Wangmo)

DW Team

KHANDRO-LA'S CORNER

 Retreat - Body, Speech, Mind Retreat

There are many kinds of retreats, but whatever form it takes, we always have these three dimensions of retreat- body, speech, and mind – physical, verbal, and mental. Pay attention to those three things.

 

A connotation of retreat is that we’re retreating from something. What are you retreating from? Physically perhaps you are retreating from some ordinary activity like screen time. It's also important to set a boundary on an aspirational level. These intentions are so powerful. There you and your family who live within that physical boundary are part of your mandala.

Verbally, maybe you can maintain more silence. For example, “this morning till noon I am not going to have a conversation with family members. Or maybe you will avoid certain kinds of gossip and chit-chat. Retreat is about mindfulness and conscientiousness. We are developing this mental acuity that we usually don’t make use of. Really pay attention to how you speak and what words you allow to come out of your mouth.

 

The mental aspect of retreat is most important. If we don’t have a mind retreat, then the speech and physical retreat don’t work. Buddha said that mind is the priority because if mind is distracted, our speech and actions occur without any mindfulness. Pay attention to the mental retreat.

As you enter retreat, each of you can develop what these dimensions mean to you. What conflictive emotion, kleshas, ordinary habitual patterns do you want to retreat from? You know these will come up. Retreat is a place where you encounter good things and bad things. Everything comes up, like simmering a tea bag for a long time. It comes up like this with flavors.

 

Just experiment with those things during the retreat - the body, speech and mind retreat. Then whatever happens, you don’t judge. You just do your best, then rejoice in the end, and dedicate. If your intention is good, bodhicitta, then everything is going toward that direction.

Check out more videos, articles, and interviews related to this subject!

  • Retreat - Time to Swim

  • Entering the Journey

  • Dakini Chö Hermitage 1

  • Khandro-la's article on her three-year retreat

  • A Conversation with Chöying Khandro on Spiritual Authenticity and Honesty

  • Love & Liberation Interview with Chöying Khandro - "The Heartbreak of Possibility"

Explore Youtube >>

ASK KHANDRO-LA

 Seven-Night Wilderness Retreat

[Student:] One thing that I find neat about Khandro-la’s practice experience is that she has done retreat practice in the wilderness. Since I like outdoor practice, I'm really drawn to learning to practice in that way. Will Khandro-la be teaching on the Seven Night Wilderness retreat or on any similar practices this year?

 

[Khandro-la:] The Seven-Night Wilderness retreat is the first retreat we engage in once we are empowered into the Ear-Whispered Lineage of the Machik Dakini. Our Cho Mastery Journey will be diving into this lineage in the near future. Students will be guided into the Seven-Night Wilderness Retreat following the Uncommon Cho Empowerment. This retreat is what I call a ‘boot camp’ for engaging in the longer Troma Nakmo retreat. If you are drawn to this special lineage and practice, you need to enter the stream of the lineage and prepare yourself by joining the Cho Mastery Journey and engaging in the Five Dakini Practice of the Ear-Whispered Lineage, including the mantra accumulation. Completing the Five Dakini retreat is the preliminary to Cho and a prerequisite to entering the Dakini Ear-Whispered Lineage. So if you want to join this Cho Journey, this is the time.

 

Check out "Ask Khandro-la" Blog Posts related to this subject!

Dakini's Corner Blog >>

STUDENTS’ REFLECTIONS

What was your experience of retreat?

Was there anything, in particular, you were retreating “from?”

How would you like to bring your retreat experience to your life?

PUZZLE - a Sky-Dancer consisting of Renunciation, Bodhicitta and Wisdom

 

I found 3 fragments of driftwood walking along the beach. I 'saw' that they could fit together and form this passing cloud / sky-dancer / Dakini. I have been posting little 'episodes' of her movements on social media and it was just today that I made the connection to the 3 principles of practice, Renunciation, Bodhicitta and Wisdom. I have called her PUZZLE and her attributes have been that she is totally at ease in any environment and responds to what is there with non-attachment. She has become a bit like a personal avatar for me. A teaching tool.

I have her 3 parts in a bag and every now and then I take her out for a walk and place her in random different natural situations. Sometimes she finds aids like wings or puts on a hat for fun or flips upside down or spins her head around. She is very versatile, curious and responsive to any place she finds herself.

 

I called her Puzzle because she is a bit like a jigsaw and the nature of Dakinis is quite puzzling. She has become a bit like a yidam for me. This way of connecting the teachings is 'serious fun' for me. Please enjoy some of her antics of embodied wisdom as she flips and flits and lounges in the aspects of the 5 Dakinis! Her play continues!

 

- Shona W.

(Artwork above and below by Shona W.).

Swirling Ashes

 

The day after it all -- the three-month Retreat and the three-day Monlam -- I am rejuvenated and grateful and calm and so, so tired. And if this day is supposed to feel different than day one or day fifty-six, it doesn't. The snow falling isn't any different than it was last week, or the week before; the daily routine of tea, baby cat feedings, and sadhana plays out just as it did every day of last month; being human is found in reminding myself to come from the centered place inside .. sometimes minute to minute as hours pass by.

 

There's a sense of completion the day after it all, and there is no possible way I can stop now. I've come this far to not just come this far! And so, I'll make a cup of tea for my teacher as an offering of thanksgiving alongside my own cup while I continue existing in this section of the charnel ground. The emptiness is filled with dakini as all five senses call to their own single-pointed attention; surviving has turned into thriving in some sort of equanimous way I cannot put into words; left step first to continue on.

 

- TK

A Powerful Reminder of Samsara

 

An actor can make it look so real on the stage as if he really is the character. But when the lights dim, he will take off his wig, change his costume, wash off the makeup, go find his car in the parking lot and drive home. The role he plays does change his personality or moods from time to time, but only temporarily. Very clearly he knows who he really is. He knows those are the probes that don’t belong to him. He also knows that the other characters are not really his family, they are acting as well. And as a matter of fact, he has no desire to bring home the fake gold and fake swords (but maybe the fake wife). 

 

This retreat has been a powerful reminder of samsara. I do forget! Being in the recycling process (aka samsara) for 100s or 1000s of lifetimes, it’s just so easy to forget how tiring and yet how convenient it is to keep going unawakened. The focused practice reminded me, “wake up!” “These are all probes!” “Of course, use them while you are on the stage, but you can’t take them home with you.” “By the way, be gentle and take good care of the wig and costumes, you will need to return the rentals!” And I know when the show finishes, I will find my car in the parking lot so that I can drive home. That’s what the 3-month retreat is doing to me, giving me a continual reminder! Reminding me to discern the probes in this life stage and be aware of the vehicle prepared by the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

 

- Louise L.

A Funny Thing Happened….

 

During the 3-month Householders Retreat, I was asked to lead a Lamrim discussion group. After reviewing some e-learning modules and The Heart of Chö, Volume One, I joined sangha members to discuss important subjects like refuge, karma, emptiness, and bodhicitta.  None of this was exactly new to me, but the conversations were fresh, and often personal. The study and sessions helped me to reexamine my own motivation to practice Dharma. 

 

Actually, I had personally chosen to do a Troma Nagmo retreat, but I did not feel ready. I resisted making a full commitment, and easily produced “obstacles” to following the practice regularly.  But a funny thing happened by revisiting Lamrim. By the end of the retreat, I had renewed motivation by studying the Stages of the Path.  Khandro-la has said that part of the reason to study Lamrim is that the previous enlightened masters did exactly that. I have just heard that the Tibetan term for mindstream, continuum, and lineage is exactly the same—a connection to the mind of enlightenment. I’m going to end this statement right now, so I can begin today’s Troma Nagmo practice! Impermanence will not allow me to doddle. 

 

- Peter P. 

Small Steps Can Be Giant Leaps

 

I chose to engage with the Lam Rim branch of the retreat options. Being fairly new to Buddhism and my introduction being experiencing the 5 Dakini practice, I felt I needed some foundational teaching and road map of and for OUR DW lineage, Tibetan Buddhist Tantra and Buddhism generally. I challenged myself with what I thought was going to be a more cerebral study (as that is not my forte) and found the amount of reading and coursework overwhelming with a particularly busy time in my daily life. HOWEVER! much better to have learned a little than nothing at all and I really just connected with and stayed with the very beginning framework of the 3 Aspects of the Path (Renunciation, Bodhicitta and Wisdom). 

 

A deeper realization that renunciation and giving up self-cherishing be the cornerstone of practice grew. Quickly my 'cerebral' experience became a very 'emotional' one as I realized how challenging this very first step is. I began noticing my self-cherishing appearing in so many aspects of my life and also as a hindrance to Bodhicitta, then I realized how the cultivation and generation of Bodhicitta is the antidote for self-cherishing. Focusing on this positive action helped cure my self-judgment as well as benefit the circumstances of my life. So I began to remember more and apply this 'relative bodhicitta' in my daily life. This essential teaching and practice are more firmly embedded and embodied in my life. I am more inspired to grow Bodhicitta on and off the cushion as a result of this retreat. Small steps can be giant leaps. 

 

- Shona W.

Meeting the Truth of Myself and Others 

 

My first month living with Tröma Nakmo was full of obstacles and hesitations while learning the sadhana and starting recitations. Fumbling, but without missing a day of practice during the second month, I was caught by the blissful feelings of energy in my lower torso and lower two chakras. My prayers to the lineage gurus became heartfelt: “Bless me with the natural cessation of deceptive appearances of confusion! Bless me with the realization of ultimate nature, selflessness!” During the sadhana practice, it became easier to identify more with the empty intrinsic nature of myself and others. At the end of the third month, the bliss had heightened through all chakras in a swirling counter-clockwise fashion during the sadhana and mantra recitations. Off-the-cushion, my reactions were subsiding, along with judgments of self and others. I was genuinely happy at times and thankful for this life that I once judged as full of past bad karma. Meeting the truth of myself and others as Tröma Nakmo gave me the courage to start living as such, albeit one tiny baby step at a time for fleeting moments. What a blessing just to be aware of this possibility. A new relaxation has started in the body, with no purpose but to open to this new awareness for the benefit of all beings. Much gratitude to Khandro-la for providing and asking that we try these new practice opportunities, as a gentle mother encouraging our opening beyond limited self/other concepts. Khandro-la is indeed a fountain of 108 springs.

 

- Betty O.

Offering to All Beings 

 

Coming to the end of our 3-month householder retreat, I see that self-grasping is the opening and Troma Nakmo has opened the door. Standing at the door, it feels heavy, dark, and forceful, powerful. Opening the door and walking into the room, I see it’s not 'me', it’s Troma Nakmo, and it’s not a room. It’s vast space with billions, innumerable 'me' replicas filling the space, and innumerable 'others' too. 'I', Troma Nakmo, am plowing through, laying down, reveling in the hot mess 'I' have been all my life and that all are still drowning in. 'I', Troma Nakmo, fall flat and make a big splash. All becomes the same - Troma Nakmo, the great equalizer, the great seer. She is bliss. I offer her to all beings.

 

- Ellen G. (Yeshe Wangmo)

ANCIENT SAGE, ANCIENT WISDOM

Manibhadra

Female Mahasiddha

It should never fail to surprise you that female Mahasiddhas are lost to some pretty unscrupulous characters who have taken their stories and twisted them to fit a more comfortable narrative. Silenced voices and buried lives for these tantric female practitioners have become an echo we practitioners should begin listening for. For those we can find and hear, her evolution into a sanyasini gives hope that we too will find a life of complete spiritual elopement; for those we cannot find or hear, her evolution into a Mahasiddha gives hope that we too will make it out of samsara – even if we are only a great master towards ourselves.

 

One unknown Mahasiddha is Manibhadra, who found her teacher after she was married and domesticated. Renouncing samsara to her family she went and trained with her teacher, but returned to her marriage to be an example of a perfect wife. After thirteen years of meeting with her teacher, Manibhadra gained spontaneous awareness of the “meaninglessness of staying in samsara.” At a pivotal point in Manibhadra’s householder life she dropped a vase. Looking at the shattered pieces on the ground before her, she contemplated the vase and remained motionless. In those moments, Manibhadra composed a doha (which is lost) and ascended into the sky for twenty-one days. From there, she spoke to the people below her giving spiritual guidance. Manibhadra is depicted flying in the sky holding a broken part of the vase as she dances her way into Dakinihood.


The stories of female Mahasiddhas align with our own in this contemporary world with too many stark similarities to list. In looking at Manibhadra’s experience as an upcoming Mahasiddha, I see a prayer answered in being able to behold her own face as she holds the broken piece of pottery. How epically sad that Manibhadra’s doha was lost because she made her life meaningful by defining her stay in samsara as meaningless. But regardless if we knew her words or not, we can grasp the non-duality that female Mahasiddhas continually lay before us in their actions. It is inspiring to realize that all females on this path – our present selves included – are Mahasiddhas even if we are lost to space and time.

From https://teahouse.buddhistdoor.net/women-in-indian-tantric-buddhism-part-one/

- TK

WHAT'S NEW?

OPEN TO ALL

Registration Required 

(Drop-In for one class or register for the series)

 

This special SBT Dakini Series will explore Dakini movements focusing on Dakini strength training to boost and maintain our mental and physical capacity for adaptability, endurance, resilience, flexibility, agility and clarity. With a sensitivity to the connection between different dimensions of the body and mind, we will integrate into each class a variety of Dakini strength modalities such as meditation on altruism, subtle body trulkor movements, breath work, and restorative postures, as well as dance movements. For more information and to register, go to our webpage here.

Learn More & Register >>

OPEN TO ALL

REGISTRATION REQUIRED

Starting on March 7

 

Body lying flat on a last bed,

Voices whispering a few last words,

Mind watching a final memory glide past:

When will that drama come for you?

- VII Dalai Lama

 

JOIN Dakini’s Whisper for LUMINOUS VOYAGE, a new death and dying meditation, discussion and study group! Intended to provide guidance, insight and practice skills for people with a common interest in end-of-life experiences and teachings, the group will meet monthly on the 1st Tuesday at 4:30 PST (7:30 EST).

Learn More & Register >>

Detailed information about all upcoming offerings can be found on the webpage (upcoming online teaching and practice opportunities). You can access the DW calendar from the website as well, or DW members can check their personal version of the DW Google calendar. Please note that all times listed there are Pacific Time. 

 

If you have further questions, please contact Ellen (dakiniswhisperteam@gmail.com).

Become A Member >>

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