October, the month of pumpkins and fake blood and bambino munchkin sphynx kittens. Well, it is in our house anyway. I need to preface this preface by saying I am a dog person. You all know that. Dogs are the best. They don’t play mind games. They wag their tails to let you know if they like you, growl at you if they don’t (how I wish we had tails!) Cats are a different kettle of fish. Cats scare me. They can see into the murky pond of my soul. They spear my secret cowardly custard-ness with their sharp claws. And yet… our new kitten Zero has stolen a sliver, a waxing crescent of my moon-shaped heart. Enzo and Wiener have both had kennel cough and have been feeling very sorry for themselves, hacking away like they’ve been chain-smoking Malboro Reds all night. I can add syringing lemon and honey down a growling Miniature Dachshund’ s throat to the things I never thought I’d do. Enzo ran away and hid. Buddy watched on, immune and bored. Oh and I’ve read some incredible books this month - check out the Reviews for more details.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Can you pass me that ashtray?] |
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ICYMI - More info on my bottom than you'll ever need |
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"So, I gritted my teeth, returned to the tattooist, dropped my pants and had the incomplete dedication covered with the elephant-headed Hindu God of Beginnings. A marvellous idea at the time, when my buttocks still enjoyed a certain comradeship with gravity, but I didn’t consider the implications of having a hot pink pachiderm carved into a piece of flesh that would one day start a southward journey." Tennis puns ahoy! And yes, I've been over-sharing again. If you missed it and you'd like to hear about the time I tried to recreate an iconic 70s image as well as how I'm coping with the menopause, head over to my blog. | | |
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A little more Book Two news... |
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Drip, drip, drip... It's like some kind of water torture with these teasing little mentions, isn't it? So, I can tell you this much: I have seen the front cover design and I love it, very, very much. A reveal will be coming soon, I promise. |
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It's my turn this month - with a twist |
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It's been great to present the life-changing book selections from my fantastic contributors throughout this year but, yes, I've been itching to leap in and share my own. But I thought I'd mix it up a little. As I already have a hefty list of my favourite books on my website, and I share lots of reviews and recommendations each month, I thought I'd head in another direction and tell you about the 5 Poems That Changed My Life. | | |
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Ah, the eternal question. Which really is best? We tackle the big issues here at The Enzograph and with the arrival of a kitten in our dog-focused household, I've been pondering those feline and canine differences and who really comes out on top... |
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1: I think preference depends on your star sign. If you are a Leo, say, like my husband, you ooze self-assuredness from every pore. People with egos don’t feel snubbed by the illusive nature of cats, but see themselves as kin, a fellow king of the jungle. Or maybe it just depends on how much you desire attention. I need my dogs to need me. I want them to pine when I leave. Their pathetic faces when I shut the door to have a wee in private makes me feel like I matter. Cats don’t want to make you feel good. They don’t care about your feelings, only your ability to open packets of food. |
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2: Cats are cool and clever - apparently they have nearly twice the amount of neurons in their cerebral cortex as dogs. Dogs are just basic. Buddy is a dumb jock, running around with his tongue out, chasing sticks and rolling in mud. Cats don’t even go to parks. They have better things to do than chase after leaves and bark at squirrels, like planning how to overthrow the government and finish their killer Sudoku. Cats will refuse an unpalatable food to the point of starvation. Buddy ate the kitten’s cat litter this week. The whole tray of it. 3: A cat's purr vibrates at a frequency of 25 to 150 hertz, which is the same frequency at which muscles and bones repair themselves. Cat purrs mend things. Dog barks do not. Enzo can’t even bark, he yodels, and Wiener’s bark is the sort of yap that inspires people to go on killing sprees like that book Son Of Sam. 4: Cats are full of stealth. Dogs have zero game. A dog would never get a second date. He’d be late, get distracted on the way by his own paws, eat his date’s food, talk too much about his hobbies (sticks, balls, bones) and then fall asleep. Cats would be all cool and mysterious, with their massive eyes and snazzy whiskers. Cats will break your heart; dogs will lick it better. 5: Speaking of licking, cats' rough tongues can lick a bone clean of any shred of meat. Buddy broke all his teeth trying to eat pebbles on the beach. Cats are believed to be the only mammals who don’t taste sweetness. (Imagine not having a sweet tooth?!) Buddy ate Daisy’s 13th Birthday cake off the kitchen worktop, greaseproof paper and all. Cats can spend up to a third of their waking hours grooming. My dogs look for puddles, fox scat, dead fish and other dogs' urine to roll around in. Confidence, cleverness, cleanliness... It seems that cats win all the time, and yet I’ve always rooted for the underdog. Cats may be 95.6% tiger, but dogs love with an unabashed, unconditional fierce devotion. No one else in the world ever has or ever will love me like my dogs. Cats use their whiskers to determine which small spaces they can fit into. Buddy gets wedged between two trees with a stick in his mouth, but his tail wags away regardless. If cats and dogs were laying in the gutter, cats would be moaning with disdain, while the dogs would be looking at the stars (and happily slurping up the gutter water). [EDITOR'S NOTE: What!? That is NOT yodelling. That is most definitely a bark. Now, where are my lederhosen and flugelhorn?] |
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FFS - it's a Flash Fiction Special |
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I decided to try my hand at some Flash Fiction. The resulting piece entitled 'Versions of Herself' is BRAND NEW on my website today. Head over to check it out. | | |
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If you're looking for a book recommendation |
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As I mentioed, I've been enjoying some cracking books this month. My quick, digestible reviews are over at the Reading section of my website. | | |
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So, here he is in all his Halloween glory. Say hi to the newest addition to our family, little Zero himself. I'm sure you'll be seeing lots more of him over the coming months. |
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I hope you all have fun whatever you're getting up to for Halloween, be it elaborate dressing up and a door-to-door mission for sweet treats or turning all the lights out and pretending you're not in. Stay warm and we'll catch up next month. Peace and paws out, people
Ericka (and Enzo) |
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