My May Newsletter

I Put My Yes on God's Table
May 2023

SCRIPTURE FOCUS: (Hebrews 13:21) Emphasis mine.

May He work perfection into every part of you giving you all that you need to fulfill your
destiny. And may He express through you all that is excellent and pleasing to Him through your life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One who is to receive all glory forever! Amen!

Good morning, beautiful month of May! How is it you’re half over already? I turned around and your warmth caused the flowers to bloom, the leaves to bud and unfurl and the grass to be a brilliant green! And I missed it all, until I took the time to look up and gasped with the beauty that surrounds me!
 
Thank You, Jesus, my Artist Savior, for the beautiful, fragrant month of May. 
Your design is breathtaking.

Every season, we wait on the Lord to bring forth His beauty. Flowers and greenery all around us–––birthed in spring and lasting through the summer. Autumn graces us with colors that take our breath away. Winter brings the joy of Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the excitement of the first snowfall, calling us to hunker down and spend time inside in front of the fire with our families. 
 
We have the assurance that the God we love will do the things He has set in order––each season coming as expected and each with its own beauty, giving us (and the earth) what the Lord knows we need.

So, I often wonder why we don’t have that same assurance when it comes to the seasons of life we travel through––we falter and fret, convinced we don’t have what it takes to fulfill His plans and His purposes for us this side of Heaven. I wonder why … maybe because we assume fulfilling His plans may stretch us farther than we feel we are able to be stretched.

 For over 30 years I knew God had called me to write. I wondered how I’d ever do it. My life was jammed-packed. I couldn’t imagine being free to fulfill that call. I would beg Him to lift the desire to be a writer off my heart again and again. But it remained. He knew the timing He had planned, and He saw to it that I did life first. 
 
Seasons of life came and went, some beautiful, fragrant, full of life. And some as cold as the chill of a blustery nor’easter, where the winds of adversity caused me to fear. Always He was faithful. Always He was present.

In the winter of 2019 while we were in Florida for six weeks, a law passed in N.Y. called the Reproductive Health Care Act. On January 22, 2019, both the Assembly and the Senate passed this law, decriminalizing abortion, eliminating several restrictions, and expanding abortion rights, making allowance for women to have end-of-pregnancy abortions. 

There was so much jubilation that it passed, under the governor of N.Y., Andrew Cuomo, the government lit up the Empire State Building and two buildings in Albany, N.Y. in pink and blue, celebrating and cheering in the chambers of the Senate. 
 
In the middle of my Quiet time with Jesus, I recall screaming out what is healthy about tearing a baby, ready to be born, out of his mother’s womb, Jesus!
I was so rocked by this outrageous atrocity
 
Sobbing before the Lord I said, “Jesus, what can I do about this? I am only one insignificant woman with no voice.” ! 

I heard, close to an audible voice, “Tell your story.” 
 
His voice was so clear, I called my daughter, Dana, and shared the experience through my tears. You see, I was pregnant with Dana at 15, and will always be grateful Planned Parenthood wasn’t in operation and neither were abortions legal, because as a desperate, young girl, I may have bought their lies and had an abortion myself.

I asked Dana if she thought I should call my friend, Sandra Flach, who had a radio program at the time, Justice for Orphans. While my story didn’t really go with the interviews Sandra usually hosted, considering this horrific bill, my teen pregnancy, and our story of hope, she might consider us a fit for her program. Dana agreed we needed to call her. After talking with Sandra, she scheduled a day in March and asked if Dana would consider joining us to record the program. She did.
 
 It was during this time in Florida I sensed Jesus was bringing me into the season where I would begin to write.

One morning a few months after we recorded the program, I met Sandra for an early breakfast, and she told me she was going to a writers and speakers conference in Michigan, SpeakUp Conference.
 
Before I even considered the nerviness, I blurted out, “Oh! Can I go with you?” The second I opened my mouth I regretted being so bold. But Sandra was thrilled she wouldn’t have to make the long trip alone. 12 hours on the road and we didn’t come up for air. Our conversation was so energizing and encouraging, and we felt full before we even arrived at the conference.

This was my first writer’s conference and while I was there, I met a woman, Jenn Hand. As she spoke that day, her story made an impact on my life. 
She left us with these words that spoke directly to my heart. She has become well-known for her charge to us all: “Put your yes on the table.” 

I knew the Lord was calling me to begin to tell my story, in whatever ways He called me to. 
 
Many of you know my story and the result of God’s clear word to me was the writing of my first book, Holy Interruptions: When God Taps You on the Shoulder, published by Bold Vision Books, November 2022.
 
Fast forward to just a few weeks ago, hence what prompted this May Newsletter content. I attended reNew Writer’s Retreat and spent 4 days up at Camp of the Woods in upstate N.Y.

The retreat was wonderful, but nearing the end of the retreat my heart was in an uneasy place. I was beginning to feel I just don’t have what it takes anymore to be speaking to groups of people. God called me to be a speaker over 40 years ago, a call I have always known was His. But recently I’ve been getting cold feet. I can’t were the words trying to take residence within my heart. I love this call and it was with great grief I had arrived at this conclusion. By Sunday morning, I had resigned myself to this chapter being over for me.

After breakfast we all went to the closing session, given by a precious woman, Tessa Afshar, an anointed author and speaker. Her message was entitled For Such a Time as This. 
 
Keep in mind, my “I can’t” was at the forefront of my mind and on the tip of my tongue. 
 
I was blown away by every word Tessa spoke. Her words spoke right to the wrestling going on within my heart and I knew it was what Jesus wanted me to hear and know. “I can’t”, but He can.

Tessa began by saying Esther didn’t feel like she could go in before the King. 
We have a hidden place in our heart that says, “I can’t”.
Possibly from moments of rejection or our work not desired.
Now we’re looking through that lens.
Now I realize I’m in the season of “I can’t”.
Mordecai tells Esther, ‘You can’t look at life by temporal time’.
For such a time as this.
Tessa’s word to us was to watch our I can’ts.’
Be mindful.
Be mindful that our scars can have lies tucked in there.
Watch it.
Watch your I can’ts”.
Watch the lies tucked in with the scars and give them back to Jesus for His healing.
Scripture trains our deeper parts by the superficial things of life.
God will train our souls.
She touched briefly on Gideon who was exhausted yet pursuing.
 There’ll be lots of times we’ll be exhausted and try to quit. “I can’t.”
“Repent”, Tessa said.
You can’t. But God can.
I may be exhausted but I need to pursue the will of God.

I know speaking is part of God’s initial call and He is still asking me to be willing to tell my story. 
I have loved this call. Even during seasons of exhaustion or fear or worry of putting myself out there, Jesus has given me all I need to walk in His plans for my life. 
However, this new “I can’t” crept into my thoughts in a very logical, understandable way.
Watch your “I can’ts”. 
I can’t. But God can. 
All the above italicized words were Tessa Afshar’s one-liners, too good to not share with you. God spoke through her to my heart that Sunday morning.

So once again, I put my yes on God’s table and have thrown my “I can’ts” away, asking God to forgive me and remove all He knows that needs removing, throwing it as far as the east is from the west.

How about you? Are you struggling with any “I can’ts”? Don’t believe it for one second. 
If God has called you to do something for Him, He will give you all you need to fulfill His plans. 
 
So, will you tell others your story? Your story matters. We only get one chance at life. I want what matters to Jesus to matter to me, and what He knows I need to share, I’ve put my yes on the table and I’m willing to share it. By responding to His call, He will use our story to change lives, one heart at a time.

Happy May! Let’s be mindful to soak in the beauty all around us and especially the beauty of God’s love that equips us to do whatever it is He has planned for us to do this side of Heaven.

On this journey together,
Deb
 
Consider visiting Tessa’s website.
NOTE: You can find Tessa Afshar here: @tessaafshar.com or follow her on Facebook