Donald J. Bingle August 2020 Newsletter |
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Another sunrise, another day. Sure, this sunrise is from a beach on Kauai and not my backyard, but the world keeps spinning wherever you are. And, while we are all more confined in space and options for activities than we used to be, every day can still be a wondrous and awe-inspiring experience. Whether you are writing more, doing projects you've long put off, or just taking the time you need to relax and take care of yourself amidst all of the craziness of the world these days, I hope you are getting along through the pandemic as best you can. Stay safe, be smart, and, hey, read a book or six if you need to escape to better or, at least, more interesting worlds for now. Life can be difficult, but I hope you are dealing with it better than the guy in the promo pic below. |
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| | Umbrellas, Pedestrian Etiquette, and Un-Needful Things (A blog from August 6, 2013) I'm not much of a fan of umbrellas. It's not that I don't own one. In fact, I have one which is more than thirty years old at this point. I used it on a regular basis when I walked more than a mile to the train station every day, rain or shine. It has a cane-like handle which makes it a good walking aid and is of sturdy construction (though I had to repair one rib with coat-hanger wire after I walked into a post and bent the rib). These days, though, it pretty much just sits in the trunk of my car. It's not that I still don't commute by train to work rain or shine, but I drive to the station (7 or so miles away) and only walk a mile from the train to my job once I get downtown. I don't use my umbrella for that because (a) I own a hat, which I do wear regularly, (b) I own a raincoat for those really bad days, and (c) I'm not made of sugar, so I won't melt in the rain. More importantly, though, I don't use an umbrella for the walk in downtown Chicago because I have a lot of experience with pedestrian commuters with umbrellas and, frankly, I don't want to be lumped in with the rest of those carrying umbrellas as idiots of the first order. Commuters with umbrellas regularly commit the following offenses, among many others, which classify them as idiots of the first order (i.e., idiots who are oblivious and narcissistic in crowds). Fair-Weather Jouster: Carries a long, closed umbrella horizontally, jabbing other pedestrians behind and to the fore with either end and whacking people at each twist and turn. Over-Compensator: Size obviously matters to this commuter, as he carries an oversized golf umbrella in bright colors, making it impossible for anyone else near him, whether walking with or past, to also have an open umbrella, hat, face, or eyes without getting them repeatedly poked. Oblivious Climate-Change Denier: Insists on walking with umbrella open despite the fact that it is no longer raining, has not rained, or isn't going to rain. Ignorer of the Laws of Physics: Having no concept of wind dynamics, force, sailing, or metal stress, this person insists on repeatedly letting the wind catch the underside of their (usually cheap) open umbrella and turn it inside out, prompting them to stop and try to fix it without altering its position vis a vis the wind shear, which usually results in halting a column of commuters and much swearing by all involved until the umbrella breaks beyond repair and is dumped in a nearby trash container in such a way that it blocks any other trash from being deposited. Here's a pointer: Point your umbrella into the wind (tilt your head toward/into the wind to help keep a wide-brimmed hat on, too). Bubble-Heads: Although owning those special, clear "bubble" umbrellas that extend down so that you can hold them so they completely cover your head and shoulders and you can still see where you are going, these people unclear on the concept insist on holding the entire bubble above their head in order to advertise their idiocy to even those at a distance. Wannabe U-Boat Captains: Damn the commuters; full speed ahead! These self-centered clods tilt the open umbrella forward and move as fast as possible even though they can't see where they are going. One-Size-Fits-Allers: These people fail to recognize that scaffolding, bus pavilions, news stands, train and bus doors, and other obstacles were not built by Dr. Who and, thus, do not expand to fit whatever may be thrust into them. And, what is the result of all of this idiocy? Well, in a steady, light rain, the average umbrella wielder manages to walk to work getting no rain on their face, hair, and one shoulder, at least until water is dumped there by someone else's umbrella. Generally, the second shoulder is wetter than it would be otherwise because of water from the carrier's own bumbershoot (you see, umbrellas just divert water; they don't actually make it disappear). Few are clever enough to hold the umbrella to protect both shoulders and an umbrella does little to protect one's torso and legs from a good rain. Fewer yet think to employ the umbrella to protect themselves from splashing by passing vehicles (just aim at the puddle). My hat, most hats, protect hair and face. My coat protects much more of my torso, shoulders, arms, and legs than an umbrella. Sure, you could have an umbrella in addition to your coat and hat, but why? A coat and hat ensemble doesn't harass other commuters, doesn't break in the wind, doesn't take up inordinate space drying later, doesn't poke people in the privates, and doesn't advertise one's idiocy to the rest of the world. (I have a blog to do that, thank you.) So, why do people insist on carrying umbrellas? Not to stay dry; they're ineffective at that, especially compared to the coat and hat alternative. People carry umbrellas because that's what they were told to do when growing up and because they have an inordinate fear of getting their hair/face/eyes wet. Here's a clue. Getting a bit damp usually won't kill you. And rain can be pretty darn pleasant to walk in. Some people swim or go to water parks just to get wet. And most wet things dry out within a reasonable amount of time (generally quicker than your shoes and socks will and no one has umbrellas on their shoes).More importantly, do what you do for a reason--not just because you were taught to do it or because everyone else is doing it. If an umbrella isn't keeping you dry and easing your walk through commuter throngs, why are you using it? And that's our writing tie-in for this blog. Don't do things in your writing just because you were taught to or because everyone else is doing it. Are you stretching to find new ways to describe a character's jawline or nose even though the reader doesn't really need to know those details? Are you adding scenes and characters to pad word count, even though they aren't moving the plot forward? Are your chapters all the same length for no particular reason? Write words because they have a desired effect. Stop using conventional techniques if they get in the way of the story or don't do what they are intended to do or poke the reader in the eyes or the privates or make you look like an idiot. Be intentional. Or at least have good intentions about being intentional. Think about what you are doing and whether it does what you need it to do for the story and the characters and, most importantly, the readers. They may already have a coat and a hat. They may want to feel the wind and the rain. They may want to get wet. Nuff said. | | |
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| | Summer Mystery Tour Like many writers, I was a fan of the television show Castle, especially in the early seasons. Sure, I like Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic fine (more than the gossip rags say they liked each other), the mysteries were fun and clever for the most part, the series featured references to other geek-favorite series, and they actually used real writers for the poker game scenes. I confess, the opening of the show also appealed: "There are two kinds of people who sit around thinking about ways to murder people. Mystery writers and psychopaths. I'm the kind that pays better." I can relate to that in my own life. Of course, given what my writing career pays, that must mean I'm a psychopath. What's that all got to do with the picture atop this column? Simply this. The first murder by Covid-19 has already certainly occurred. Now, don't misunderstand, I'm not talking about accidental deaths because scientists didn't initially realize how lethal the virus was or how easily it spreads. And I'm not talking about manslaughter--reckless indifference to human life by government, whether that be international agencies, national governments, independent regulatory agencies, or local officials, or the many, many misguided souls in the world that just don't give a damn about their fellow man and do things that spread the virus far and wide.*** And, I don't mean murder in the heat of passion, whether that be passion in the heat of a fight (spitting on someone when you are contagious) or passion in the heat of ... well ... passion (sleeping with someone when you are contagious). No, I mean First Degree murder ... intentional murder ... with malice aforethought and all that legal jargon that criminal attorneys spout. Given mankind's murderous history and depravity (poisoning the wells of enemies, catapulting plague infested cattle into medieval cities under siege, and airing shows like Two Broke Girls and Married at First Sight in prime time), there is not a scintilla of doubt in my mind that someone somewhere has offed their cheating spouse, their rich uncle, or their romantic rival by deliberately dosing them with Covid-19. After all, it's more or less the perfect crime. It is not technically difficult to do (the hardest part is avoiding exposure yourself), it causes not only death but plenty of pain and suffering along the way, and it is unlikely to ever even be investigated as a crime. Not only will it get lost in the flood of other Covid-19 related deaths, but who can ever say exactly how anyone gets infected in our current miasma of viral vectors? To be clear, DON'T DO THIS. Not only is it evil, but the mere fact that it would be easy to prove you read this column means you are much less likely to get away with it than the average Joe. At this point those of you not busily trying to figure out how to erase all record of having read this newsletter are probably wondering why I'm giving away such a cool plot idea and whether I'm going to write a mystery using this method as a means of murder most foul. Nope. First of all, ideas are a dime a dozen. I also guarantee I'm not the first writer who's thought of this idea. (The key to being a successful writer is execution of the idea, not the idea, itself.) Second, I don't really think the reading public wants to read about murder by pandemic during a pandemic or, frankly, after a pandemic. And, third, I just don't find it to be that interesting of a mystery--too easy to commit and too hard to prove. ***As an aside, I think the Public Service Announcements that ask people to wear a mask so elderly people with pre-existing medical conditions don't die are misguided and ineffective. It's already clear that many don't care about the elderly's exposure to the "boomer remover"; they only care about themselves. Accordingly, the PSA's should say something like: "Well, recent history has shown that most Americans are selfish individuals who think their right to party is paramount, so now that we know that this disease can also infect and hospitalize young, healthy people and give them long-term debilitating conditions that will cause them to suffer for the rest of their lives, you should continue your selfish, narcissistic habits by watching out for yourself and avoiding doing things that might make you catch the disease. Like herpes, Covid-19 is forever, til early death do you part. Castle is now available on reruns on ABC after the late news on weekends, in case you missed or want to revisit it. For a review of the first Castle tie-in novel, scroll down below. Yes, It's All About Me I've recently been involved with several promos on StoryOriginApp that encourage new subscribers to my newsletter. Welcome one and all. And, since you've probably just finished reading one of several of my rants about self-centered, narcissistic people, I thought I should provide an unexpected twist by proving that I, too, am a narcissistic, self- centered person by giving you a few random facts about me. (I recently reorganized my writing files and came across this somewhat eclectic version of a writing bio--you can find an entire writing resume on my website and a more traditional bio farther below.) Random true facts about Donald J. Bingle: He was the Keeper of the World's Largest Kazoo. He made up the science of Neo-PsychoPhysics for a time travel roleplaying game. He is a member of The International Thriller Writers. He once successfully limboed under a pole only nineteen inches off the ground. He has written short stories about killer bunnies, civil war soldiers, detectives, Renaissance Faire orcs, giant battling robots, demons, cats, werewolves, time travelers, ghosts, time-traveling ghosts, spies, barbarians, a husband accused of murdering his wife, dogs, horses, gamers, soldiers, Neanderthals, commuters, kender, Victorian adventurers, lawyers, and serial killers (note the serial comma). Of those subjects, he has occasional contact in real life only with dogs, cats, gamers, lawyers, and commuters (unless some of those are, unknown to him, really time travelers, ghosts, demons, serial killers, spies, or murder suspects). He prefers gamers to commuters. He prefers dogs to cats. He is a member of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. He was once hit by lightning. He was the world's top-ranked tournament player of classic roleplaying games like Dungeons & Dragons for more than fifteen years. His is a member of the Horror Writers Association. He was an Eagle Scout. He is a member of the International Association of Media Tie-In Writers. He used to write movie reviews for Knights of the Dinner Table, a comic book about gamers. He is a retired attorney. He has likely attended GenCon for more years than you have been alive. He has a fascinating website at www.donaldjbingle.com. You can find a more traditional bio of me below and a full writing resume' on my website. | | |
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Keep scrolling. Lots more content follows. |
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Donald J. Bingle Writing Update: At over 54,000 words, I continue to make progress on the first draft of Flash Drive, the third book in my Dick Thornby spy thriller series. The question at this point is always are there enough words left to go? Or is this book going to be shorter than the first two in the series? I try not to worry too much about this. For one thing, I won't do my comprehensive review of my notes and my research material until I finish this draft, so I will probably find a thing or three I meant to include, but forgot in the heat of writing. And, I have a strong tendency to add word count on my rewrites and polishes of my drafts, so even if the first draft is a bit shorter than my target word count (which target, by the way, is actually longer than Wet Work was), I should be fine. |
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Pirates of the Golden Age by TS Rhodes TS Rhodes, the author of the popular and fictional Pirate Empire series (Gentlemen and Fortune; Bloody Seas; and Storm Season) has put out this non-fiction book on all things piratical, especially geared for the YA crowd. The Golden Age of Piracy was part of a unique place and time. This book reveals the lives of twelve Golden-Age pirates from the famous to the unknown, while explaining how their time and place caused them to be who and what they were.
Special segments explain pirate weapons technology, female pirates and why they did what they did, pirate society and pirates as teachers. Seeing pirates in context - in the world which shaped them - gives depth to any reader's understanding of these fascinating people. |
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From the Earth to the Moon With all of the news about space flights lately, I want to recommend the series produced by Tom Hanks, From the Earth to the Moon. At first blush, you might guess this is just a tediously repetitive compendium of old news footage about the Apollo program, but it is actually a fascinating series of well-written, well-acted, and nicely produced vignettes about the various Apollo missions, with each episode focusing on a separate issue or storyline, from the astronauts' training in geology, to the impact of Velcro TM on the history of space, to how the spouses of the astronauts were treated, to what it was like to stay on the Command Module while your crewmates were cavorting on the surface of the moon, and more. Highly recommended. Available on Blu-ray and other formats. Also streams on HBO on Amazon Prime. |
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| | Terminus: Fringe Worlds #1 by Kevin Hardman From prolific author, Kevin Hardman, comes the first book in the Fringe Worlds series. Master Sergeant Gant Maker was a highly-decorated and well-respected Marine - until his last mission left him as the sole survivor of an encounter with a vicious race called the Vacra. Served up as a scapegoat and drummed out of the military, he has since lived a life of seclusion with only an adopted alien as a companion. Now the Vacra have returned. As the only person to have ever faced them and survived, Maker is reinstated in the Corps and given the onerous task of finding this enemy on a world located at the edge of known space. Assisting him is an unlikely band of military rejects, including a blind sharpshooter, an unstable psychic, and a genetically-engineered killing machine who refuses to fight. Given that the Vacra have superior weapons and technology, Maker recognizes that his team is at a distinct disadvantage. But Marines are nothing if not resourceful, and Maker has an audacious plan that just may level the playing field – if it doesn’t get them all killed. Fans of space opera and military scifi should take a look. 4.4 stars out of 5 on Amazon, with 197 reviews. Click on the picture to buy on Amazon in ebook or print formats. | | |
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| | Always Greener by J.R.H. Lawless Life's biggest victim, please step up and claim your prize!
A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world’s worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they’ve got it.
Want in? All you’ve got to do is accept ocular implants that let the whole world see life through your eyes, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Fortunately, there’s still one person who hasn’t lost faith in all humanity. The show’s ever-smiling host is determined to wring some tiny bit of meaning out of this twisted competition and your unhappy existence.
There has to be a purpose behind all this misery.
…doesn’t there?
ALWAYS GREENER mixes the whimsical wordplay of Douglas Adams with the ominous relevance of the TV show “Black Mirror.” Set in a near-future corporate dystopia, this satirical sci-fi novel explores how individuals willingly sacrifice privacy and control of their own lives in exchange for new technologies and a few minutes of fame. Click on the picture to get for free on Amazon. | | |
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Here's my review from March 2010 of Heat Wave, the first tie-in novel for the TV show Castle: 3 of 5 stars Does Not Live Up to Castle's Reputation By now, you already know that this novel is a tie-in to the TV show "Castle," promoted as the first book in a series of Nikki Heat mysteries Richard Castle is writing based on his research with the NYPD. And while there were a few amusing moments (e.g., naming the main character based on himself "Rook"), a few sex scenes ABC dare not show on broadcast television, and easily recognizable banter in the voices of the characters from the show, the heft and quality of the book simply do not live up to the reputation that the character Richard Castle has on the show. This is a lightweight mystery, glib in tone, low on procedural detail and suspense, and lacking in credibility and pace. Since it doesn't live up to the quality or suspense or thrills of leading mystery/thriller writers, it doesn't ultimately jibe with the Richard Castle character, and, therefore, is disappointing as a tie-in product. In many ways, it would have been better as a tie-in utilizing the characters of the show than as a tie-in that purports to show a novel written by the main character on the show. |
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Donald J. Bingle is the author of six books and more than sixty shorter works in the horror, thriller, science fiction, mystery, fantasy, steampunk, romance, comedy, and memoir genres. His books include Forced Conversion (near future military scifi), GREENSWORD (darkly comedic eco-thriller), Frame Shop (murder in a suburban writers' group), and the Dick Thornby spy thriller series (Net Impact; Wet Work, and (soon to come) Flash Drive. He also co-authored (with Jean Rabe) The Love-Haight Case Files (a three-time Silver Falchion winning paranormal urban fantasy about two lawyers who represent the legal rights of supernatural creatures in a magic-filled San Francisco (a sequel is in the works). Don also edited Familiar Spirits (an anthology of ghost stories). Many of Don's shorter works can be found in his Writer on Demand TM collections. Full disclosure: Various links in my newsletter or on my website may include Amazon Affiliate coding, which gets me a small referral fee (at no cost to you) if you purchase after clicking through. |
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