The teenage years come with great changes and growth, physical, emotional and social. Because of all of these changes, it is not uncommon for teens to experience some level of depression. In this newsletter, I will cover the following very important topics related to depression in adolescence:  What is depression? What are the sign? Why are teens more vulnerable to depression? What is normal? And what are the risk factors that parents need to look for? Different gender, different needs. How can parents help their teens through this stage of life? It is our responsibility, as parents, to stay informed and to support our children. 

Why are teens more vulnerable to depression?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2017, 13.3% of adolescents ages 12-17 had at least one major depressive episode with severe impairment. The teenage years come with a number of unique changes. The transition from childhood to adolescence marks the end of an era in a person's life and the beginning of another where nothing will ever be the same. The body changes, the brain changes, friends change, the pressure and expectations change as well as their sense of their world. Needless to say, this time of growth and transitions will feel confusing, exhausting and at times turbulent. Therefore, it is not uncommon for teenagers to struggle with mental issues such as depression. By being aware of the risk factors of depression, what is normal and what needs attention, as parents we can support our teens through this transition as they courageously navigate this stage in their lives. 

What are some of the signs of depression in adolescence?

1. Anger or Irritability: Depression doesn't always look like sadness or withdrawal. Feeling lethargy or hopeless can make a person more irritable and more annoyed than usual. Are they often frustrated or angry over small issues? Do they start crying for no reason? 

2. Indifference: In adolescence it is normal to have a feeling of indifference. However, the way to measure the difference between normal adolescent behavior and depression is if the feeling of indifference is seen across all activities, including the ones that they enjoy. If your teen shows interest when he/she is doing something that he/she loves, but indifference when they don't care, than this is normal behavior. Are they pulling back from people and activities they use to enjoy? 

3. Giving up on things that are important: Feeling hopeless lowers self-esteem and teens may give up on school, friendships and other things that are important in their lives. Are they isolating themselves from others? There is nothing wrong with wanting time alone but is this isolation drastic? 

4. Change in sleep patterns and eating habits: Are they oversleeping? Are they not sleeping enough? Are they over eating or not eating? Do they seem overly tired, out of energy and have flue like symptoms? Depression is a physical illness and sometimes the symptoms will show up physically. 

5. Risky and addictive behaviors: Are they using drugs or drinking? Are they skipping school or playing video games excessively? Are they self-harming? In addition to feeling sad, depression is the inability to feel joy, a feeling that can be confusing and frightening. In order to feel better about themselves, teens might turn to all kinds of risky and addictive behaviors in order to feel better and make the pain go away. 

Boys: Depression among boys was found to have caused morning fatigue, acting out and more irritability. Boys are more likely to cut or burn themselves. fight other boys, struggle with substance abuse and have a higher chance of developing behavioral, conduct or learning issues (Mayo Clinic). 

What you can do as a parent...

Adolescence is a time of massive change. Changes that can be confusing for teens and the people around them. "Normal" teenage behavior such as change in sleep patterns, moodiness, pulling away from family and irritability, in comparison with some of the signs of mental health struggles can look the same. That is why as parents, it is important to stay curious, vigilant and available. If you suspect that your teen may have depression:

1. Create a proper plan: First talk to his/her doctor to see if they fit the diagnosis. Second, work with a professional life coach, a psychologist or a counselor where you son/daughter can talk and figure out what is happening in their world. Life coaching or any other form of talk therapy are powerful tools to help them figure out their thoughts and views on their current life situation and how they are affecting their behavior. Furthermore, it can give him/her tools to move forward and allow them to enjoy the most exiting years of their lives. 

2. Don't tell them how they should feel. Instead, help them expand their unrealistic ideas on how things should work or look like by listening first and giving your ideas later. You will not be able to convince them that inner beauty is more important than external beauty or that it is better to be smart than pretty. Furthermore, tell them how awkward you felt when your were their age and other fun stories of your teenager years. 

3. Encourage them to exercise and meditate. Even better...do it with them! Research has found that depression can be reduced by up to 40% in two weeks through a combination of 30 minutes of mindful meditation and 30 minutes of exercise twice a week (running, biking or walking). Getting the heart pumping allows the body to create more dopamine, the chemical in the brain designed to make us feel good. Find a meditation app to do guided meditation. 

4. Technology, social media and video games are not helping! Teens today are immersing themselves in a make believe world of unrealistic body image, bravery and peer pressure greater than the one we went through at their age. Many use these venues to calm their fears, frustrations and boost their self-esteem by posting inappropriate selfies, playing very aggressive games and embarrassing their peers. The social media "likes and dislike" become their world's report card, having a major effect on their sense of self. 

5. Find a balance between being present, being available but not intrusive. Just because they are older, it doesn't mean that they do not need us anymore. On the contrary, they need us more than ever. Find a balance between holding them close and respecting their independence. Listen, observe and be available when they need to talk. Find quality time where they can feel your strong, steady and unconditional presence through their turmoil. Let them know through words and behavior that they can trust you and they have your support no matter how messy things could get. 

PARENTING IS AN AMAZING JOURNEY.  One that requires constant shifting and upgrading. It is our responsibility, as parents, to stay informed and reach out to professionals when needed. Our kids do not come with instructions and there is no perfect recipe for parenting. I believe that education, reading and staying informed leads to self-growth and that is the best gift we can pass on to our kids.