May is Mental Health Awareness Month so this edition of The Enzograph is casting a spotlight on hidden disabilities and anxiety. "What fun!" I hear you cry. Well, it can be - and there's some good stuff further down the newsletter so please don't leave just yet. I've been oversharing about my Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia and generalised anxiety disorder on my blog this month. I don’t like to think of it as a compromised life, although some days are smaller than others. I try and be honest about my life, warts and all. I was recently doing a talk on creative writing at a school and when I said "ask me anything," my only two questions were: Q1: What is your net worth ? A1: Well, I ran out of fuel in my car just this week and had to abandon it to walk to ASDA with a jerry can... Q2: Is that your natural hair colour? A2: How old are you, young man!? I was hoping for something a bit deeper (but also less personal). Truth is, a lot of my days are filled with pain and fatigue. But... my garden is full of colour, my shelves are full of books, my dogs are full of love. Three things to be happy about immediately. I know it's not always as simple as that so I've taken the opportunity to share some practical advice as well. I hope it's helpful. [EDITOR'S NOTE: You said you were also going to include some details about how great pets can be at reducing stress. Well, not when they're disappearing under building foundations in pursuit of foxes and have to be tempted out after HOURS with a plate of freshly cooked sausages - mentioning no names, WIENER!] |
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A Brand New Short Story on the Website |
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New - TODAY! I've just added a new short story to the Writing section of my website. In keeping with this month's theme, it looks at happiness, loss, 'falling apart' and the road to recovery. There are moments of mindfulness in there as well, I suppose. Well, I tried! And it's a quick coffee-break read. | | |
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Tish Delaney Selects Her Life-Changing Books |
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I'm absolutely thrilled that this month's selection of five life-changing books comes from Tish Delaney, author of Before My Actual Heart Breaks and The Saint of Lost Things and one of my favourite writers. If you have not read her work, I am jealous. She is so funny and so smart and will rip your heart into shreds then sew it back together. You need her in your life. Tish's choices take us on a tour of beautiful poetry, dark fantasy, and bloody Catholic weddings. A truly exciting and insightful list. | | |
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Dealing with Anxiety - What Helps Me |
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Everyone who experiences anxiety and mental health issues has their own unique journey and their own ways of coping. I thought I'd share a little about what has worked for me... |
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1. Read about what's going on. I lost too many years to panic attacks and obsessive anxious thoughts because I thought anxiety was something I just had to live with. I didn't know I had anxiety. I didn't know what it was. I just thought I was stupid. I didn't know how to talk about it, how to explain it, or how not to feel ashamed about it. I spent a long time hating my mind; trying to "think myself out of it." Thankfully, I was given a book called Essential Help For Your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes by a friend and it genuinely changed my life. I started to understand why I felt the way I did, and how everything I’d been doing to stop feeling anxious was only making it worse. My body was just trying to protect me. I'm still learning to love my body. Here's some more about the wonderful Dr Weekes. |
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2. See it for what it is. Anxiety is not a war you can win or lose. If you had a visible injury that made you unable to walk, or sleep, you would go to see a medic. Anxiety is the same. It is trauma to your mind. It affects your sleep. Your concentration. Your moods. Your relationship with food. Your ability to process. Maybe therapy alone will help. Maybe, like me, medication is the way forward. But anxiety didn’t beat me. It didn’t ‘win’ because I take a tablet each day. It is still a part of me. Something I have to live with. I try and see my anxiety as mental diabetes. Serotonin is my insulin. My vitamins. It is me loving myself enough to give myself a hand. 3. It’s okay not to feel okay. A day is just a day. This too shall pass. Despite all I have said, there are days when getting up is hard. I still sometimes avoid things because of ‘what if’ thoughts. Sometimes my body refuses to work. Recently, I had a failed trip to London and spent the next day in bed unable to do anything. For a while I thought that day, that pain, that mood, was my life, but it wasn’t. It was just a day. It is not easy to believe better days are coming when you are in pain or stuck on whatever cycle path your brain traps you on, and spins you round on a sickening loop, feet clipped into those pedals, but it is true. The day after the bad day was a bit better. Good times are around the corner, even if you can't see them. 4. Try and stay in the present. Most of the things I worry about have either already happened or might happen in the future. Neither of which I can do anything about. Here, in the immediate present however, things are very rarely quite so bad. Right now, I am drinking a cup of earl grey tea, (milk in first) wrapped in a heated blanket. Nothing is wrong. If I start to think forwards (am I rambling? Who cares what I think. No one will read this. I need to check for spellings. Could someone better say this better?) then it all goes pear-shaped. And if I start to think backwards (that email I sent last week. Maybe I didn’t come across how I meant to. Maybe they think I’m an idiot. Maybe I’ve annoyed them. Why have they not replied?) then it all goes wrong again. I try to stay here. In this second, and this one, and this one... 5. If you can't be present, go somewhere good I am rubbish at mindfulness. My brain is a netting bag full of octopuses (or is that ocatapi?). It's a busy market with loads of vendors shouting at me to buy their bananas and get the last bread roll before it sells out. Trying to think about only one thing is very hard. I concentrate on my breathing but soon start thinking about the dishwasher, or if I got the tortoise in. Or if I need to wax my moustache. Or how I haven't had a proper conversation with my teen about her life plan and goals... and did I lend someone that book or did I lose it? And there is a smell behind the fridge so I should pull it out and ... oh SHUT UP ERICKA! Reading takes me away. From my pain, my worries, my very busy mind. Gardening does the same. Dancing, when I can manage it, also makes me feel something singular and bright and shiny. If you can't meditate, you can still find a way to shut out the noise. |
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I've said it many times - immersing yourself in a book can be a great escape from a troubled mind, even if it's just for a short while. I've been tearing through some really good reads this month and you can find out what I thought of them in my 'Mini Book Reviews' over on my website. | | |
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Of all the books I've been devouring recently, there's one in particular that was really affecting. I listened to Demon Copperhead on Audible and the narrator was incredible. I was utterly captivated by Demon's life and I ended up eking out the last half because I didn't want to leave him and his friends behind. There is so much to admire about this novel and so much to enjoy. This one's highly recommended. |
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The Big Bookmark Giveaway! |
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I decided to use some of my favourite shots of Enzo, Buddy and Wiener to create a small quantity of special bookmarks - all for you, my lovely newsletter subscribers. If you'd like to get your paws on one of these strictly LIMITED EDITION BOOKMARKS then all you need to do is drop me a quick message via my website (with 'Bookmark' in the subject line). Don't forget to include your full name and a postal address.* First come, first served! All I ask is that you send me some pics of the bookmarks in use - our Editor-in-Chief loves to see himself online. [EDITOR'S NOTE: "WIN A WOOFMARK" was right there, Ericka.] | | |
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To end May's newsletter, here's a great image from The British Culture Archive. It's a pub in Edinburgh, apparently and the photo was taken in the 1980s. I love how that big, handsome Alsatian looks so trimphant up on that roof, guarding his territory. And as a sign-off to our newsletter focusing on anxiety and mental health, it's a fitting reminder that we really CAN rise above and get on top of things! |
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That's all for this month - see you at the end of June when we'll be halfway through 2023. Goodness. Don't forget to drop me a line if you'd like a LIMTED EDITION BOOKBARK. (Happy now, Enzo?) Peace and paws out, people
Ericka (and Enzo) * PS. No, the bookmark giveaway isn't an exercise in data collection. I'm not that organised! You can rest assured that your address will be safe with me and you won't start receiving copious leaflets about double glazing, classic WWII films on DVD or custom-made soft furnishing covers. I promise. |
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