Keeping up with the Jones' is such an old-fashioned expression. We've become enlightened to the trappings of "keeping up" - right? Traditionally we would think that this kind of keeping up would involve buying a nice car, sporting a Louis Vuitton handbag, and pushing bébé in the Bugaboo stroller.
But keeping up shows up in many ways that are much more subtle, so subtle that we don’t even see it. Societal norms and messages can mean we spend more than we need to.
My own three "keeping up" categories
Here are some examples of messages and norms that have led to my own over-spending over the years.
Clothing: I’ve never been a big buyer of designer clothes, but I’ve always felt that I couldn’t wear the same thing too often, especially at work. So I needed a pretty big wardrobe. Casual clothes had to be updated too, for fear of looking too worn and boring. All of this thinking has meant I’ve bought a LOT of clothing in my life, including many things that I barely or never wore. My clothing shopping has dropped off a cliff and now I only buy things I love.
Kids: Is it just me or is there a kid competition going on? Keeping up can show up in our children, and how many activities and opportunities we give them. Of course we want the “best” for our kids but it’s costing us a bomb. I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on activities for my kids that probably didn’t add much to their lives (and that they, in fact, didn't want to do).When they got old enough, they spoke up - instead of having a tantrum on the way to soccer - and now they have a very pared down list of things they want to do. And I think they're going to be ok.
Home décor: The impressive rise in home decorating magazines and tv shows has been great for the renovation industry and furniture stores…and terrible for our finances. The magazines tell us that our house needs to be updated and kept “fresh” and HGTV gives us a ton of ideas for improving our space. Nice furniture, new hardwood floors, upgraded kitchen, luxurious bathrooms and adorable baby nurseries are on many a wish-list. I still fall for house-related stuff and in fact was surprised by how much money I spent over the past year on this category (something I Iearned when I recently updated my spending tracker). This year, I vow to be more aware. Not everything needs to be updated or improved. Sometimes good enough is great.
More things that cause us to up-spend
I think about this topic a lot as I've changed my own lifestyle over the past few years. Here is a list of things that I think have been so heavily pushed on us as consumers that I feel cheap if I don't do them. (You're not cheap if you don't do them, BTW.)
Updating your wardrobe just because you “should”
Organized classes for 1-year-olds
lululemon leggings
Back-to-school shopping (a Walmart marketing favourite!)
Pedicures
Renovations
Wellness spending (I love my essential oils)
“Shop local”
Organic everything
Handmade wooden baby toys (yup, I bought ‘em)
Branded clothing for kids
Lattes/frappucinos/cold brew
Craft beer (Molson Canadian isn't good enough for me anymore)
Life is expensive. Pressure to upgrade our spending is making it worse. Spending more mindfully has greatly improved my life - I wish I'd done it a lot sooner.
Take care of yourself (and your money),
Anita Bruinsma, CFA
Clarity Personal Finance
P.S. The photo below is of the Mon Dog puffer jacket from the luxury brand Moncler. It's my favourite example of up-spending. Yes, it's totally awesome but has a ludicrous price tag of $549+tax.
