It led me to think a lot.
Let me share with you a personal story of mine. I dated a girl a few years ago. However, the relationship ended up not working out. I believe one of the problems was that I treated her the way I wanted to be treated, but I never considered how different I was from her. While an international student, I experienced loneliness and helplessness that made it difficult to cope. Thus, I assumed my partner would always need me as her companion, and I eagerly anticipated seeing her every day. Clearly, it was all about me and my needs. What about her? Being surrounded by her family in Miami probably helped her not feel lonely or helpless. She might want some space since she is an independent girl who has a job. It was never on my mind to consider our differences and to treat her the way she wanted to be treated.
That experience was a valuable lesson, right? It is a lesson that sets the stage for moving beyond emotion toward understanding. It is a lesson that later on helps me build strong relationships with my students, coworkers, and friends. You know what? I also find it helpful for my work. Recently, I am investigating the role empathy plays in pro-social behaviors in my research project. According to the literature reviewed, empathy is generally divided into two major components: affective empathy, and cognitive empathy. In my opinion, these two components are in alignment with the golden rule and platinum rule. When we give someone a helping hand, are we treating them as they would like to be treated? Are we aware of their needs, or do we just provide them with ours? These are good research questions that I would like to investigate further.
You can see, my friends, that the platinum rule is helpful for relationships, friendships, professional connections, work, etc. Consider treating others the way THEY want to be treated instead of the way YOU want to be treated.
Yours sincerely,
Fang
