Kim Kardashian’s Poop-Eating Comments Have Made Me Curious

If I were a billionaire like Kim Kardashian and could afford to do anything available on the aesthetic market to keep my jiggly bits tight and my face as pore-less as steel—I would still not, for any reason, eat literal shit.

But Kim insists she would, in fact, consume feces if it would make her look younger—and not just once! She’d shovel poop into her mouth every damn day!

“I’ll try anything. If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might,” Kim told The New York Times. “I just might.”

First of all, the fact that she just volunteered this tidbit to The Times is incredible. She could have said literally anything slightly less disgusting—eat dirt! Don’t eat shit!

Secondly, why am I suddenly wondering if Kim is into scat play?! Is Pete Davidson also into scat play? Is shit the secret to their chemistry? It’s certainly possible! Now, there’s no shame in that, Kim, but it’s a hell of a time to prompt people to talk about your potential interest in feces when you’re currently trying to launch a skincare line. I know Kris Jenner taught you better than that.

Anyway, eating shit daily or even once will likely give you several viruses, bacteria, and/or parasites, which is basically the opposite of getting younger so… please do not try this at home.

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