A SECOND NEWSLETTER- NATURE IS HEALING

Welcome to Clumsy Attempt At Outreach, May 2021

So now anyone who originally signed up for this newsletter should be assured that I won't be blowing up your inboxes on the regular, as the previous one was sent in… August 2018. Thanks to Elliot Blake of the Daydrinking Podcast for never cleaning out his mailbox and confirming that. I don’t want to jinx it again, but I think I’ll have more going out this year. I’ve been working on stuff, and after the initial crush of the Pandemic, some of that stuff is beginning to surface. For instance, NINJAK!

Coming up in July will be the first issue of a new NINJAK series from Valiant Entertainment, where after far too many years I re-team with the incredible Javier Pulido. We’re indulging ourselves to bring you a stylish and swinging spy book, and I say more about it at The Hollywood Reporter with a seven page preview. Go look, I’ll sit right here until you’re done.

Great, right? Some out there may remember the previous time Javier and I worked together, on an Untold Tales of The New Universe: Star Brand book at Marvel in 2006. Back when I assumed we would be working together constantly, and then I didn’t see him again- until now. We’re really going for a fresh feel with this book and we’re so demanding about it that I’m sure Valiant has already has a “no more JPs” rule ready to go, but please call your local comics shop, bookstore or underground dealer to reserve your copies. Btw, here was the open of that Star Brand book, back in the day.

PRACTICAL PARKER TIP

After that first legendary newsletter that was solid enough to last for for three years came out, someone on Twitter suggested I also add some practical advice since I often end up talking about repair/building stuff online instead of what anyone actually follows me for. I’ve tried to think of an appropriate topic that would be useful for a broad range of readers, car and bike repair didn’t seem quite right. But now I think I’ve got it, one of my #1 rants (besides telling people to turn off Motion Smoothing on their television) deals with… lubrication. 

I’m forever hearing complaints about hinges, chains, wheels, any part with metal that moves and interacts with more metal, and it usually goes along the lines of “I oiled the part and it worked great for a bit but now it’s hanging and being noisy again.” Every time I ask what they oiled it with, the answer is: 

I am not slagging WD-40, it’s a great product and that’s why I didn’t have to walk more than three feet to take a picture of a can of it. But it is NOT OIL. It is also not a lubricant, though it may contain some, it is primarily a solvent. The point of it is to break up rust and I’ve long heard the WD stands for Water Displacement, but I can’t confirm that and my research team is currently out picking up tacos. Ideally you should use it to clean out your part that may have corrosion or whatever ungodly build-up there may be, but then wipe it down and use an actual lubricant. 

A lot of times I use the classic 3-In-One Oil on things like door hinges, drawer tray sliders, etc. On bicycle chains I use lubricant formulated with Teflon, because you’re out splashing around in the real world and oil picks up dirt too easily (see the underside of your car for proof). You can also use graphite, but that dust can also be messy. It’s ideal for lubricating locks. And of course there’s always lithium grease, but that’s usually for bigger applications, like hinges in car doors and hoods. I’m not even going to get into electronics this time out, I’ll have audiophiles on my case and I don’t need that kind of trouble. To recap, don’t only use WD-40 and expect something to move smoothly for long after. 

Wow, almost forgot to add a recent dog pic. Here's Martin in his favorite grass.

Okay, now that I’ve lost all the comics readers, let me wrap up by announcing a new section to this website. During our missing year I’ve been having ideas that I thought would work well for prose, and while I may seek out traditional venues for short stories, for now I’m using them to add the new FICTION section here. So this may be the home for experimentation, stories that may possibly develop into longer works. My first offering is SIDE EFFECT, and I hope you enjoy it. It is available for the nice price of free.

There. I did it, I got all the way to TWO newsletters. Hopefully all this exposure won’t go to my head. If this briefly distracted you from drudgery or helped you look attentive at work, consider spreading the subscription link and sending me more readers.  I've enjoyed our extremely one-sided discussion!