With Valentine's Day is coming up next week the theme of this month's issue is the 5 Love Languages, which are ways of expressing and receiving love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts and Touch. Not everyone communicates love in the same way, and likewise, people (and chickens) have different ways they prefer to receive love.

Food is my love language. Anyone with me? Nothing makes me feel more love than someone preparing me a delicious meal or gifting my favorite treats (ahem *cough* Cheeseballs *cough*). Chickens also have their own unique love language, more on that  below. Now that we have our rooster Dude, we're seeing this side of chicken behavior and I find myself Googling questions about chicken sex and behavior. I learned some very weird shit and went down a Google-hole. You're curious too, I know you are.   

This month's issue is filled with ideas to woo your lover if food is also your love language. Keep scrolling for wonderfully weird things you never knew you wanted to know about chicken sexy time. 

Bok-bok-BAKE!

Christina

P.S. Happy Chinese New Year and Year of the Ox! Make some Chinese dumplings to celebrate.

Food as Love Language

There's nothing sexier than someone who knows how to cook and does it confidently. It's how Mr. Baking With Chickens won me over, true story. For our third date he made me dinner at his place. He cooked pork tenderloin with a blue cheese sauce and made lemon olive oil ice cream from scratch for dessert. The next morning (Yah that's RIGHT) I went home with a pint of homemade olive oil ice cream. 11 years later and his homemade ice cream is still makes me swoon (insert dirty joke here). 

 How Food Fits Into the 5 Love Languages: 

Words of Affirmation: Tell your partner "I love it when you make ____ for me." "When you cook _____, it makes me ______."  

Quality Time: Cook and enjoy a meal together with each other's undivided attention. Be present and put your phones away! 

Acts of Service: Make breakfast or coffee for your partner before they wake up. Cook dinner when you know they're tired, stressed and hungry. 

Gifts: Bring your partner their favorite snacks, or order dinner from their favorite restaurant. 

Touch: Fondle some melons and vegetables together. Just kidding! I don't know where to go here. Hold hands while strolling the farmer's market? 

 Valentine's Day Menu Planning 

Not sure where to start? I got you covered. Below are some of my favorite recipes to express your love language from sunrise to sunset. These recipes are light and won't leave you feeling like you're in a food coma. They're easy-to-make, contain little to no garlic (watch your breath), and feature my favorite ingredient... EGGS! 

BREAKFAST / BRUNCH

Cherry Clafoutis is just as fun to say as it is to eat, pronounced kla-foo-tee, it's a baked custard like dish that can be made with any fruit. Try my Cherry Clafoutis recipe, it's as easy as blending all the ingredients together and baking in the oven (omit the food-grade charcoal).

I made this dish when Mr. Baking With Chickens came to pick me up for our first date, because according to Cher Horowitz whenever a boy comes over you should always have something baking. He burned his tongue tasting a bite but he was so enamored with the fact that I baked a Clafoutis that he didn't mind. 

LUNCH

This Crustless Spinach Quiche comes together in under an hour and is delicious all around! It's easy to substitute with whatever ingredients you'd like to fill it with. Pairs well with a fennel and arugula salad with lemon dressing. 

DINNER (APPETIZER)

They maysound fancy but don't be intimidated by Gougères, pronounced goo-jair, they're puffy cheese-y balls that are light as air. You can also bake these ahead of time, freeze and reheat in the oven just before serving. 

DINNER (MAIN COURSE)

The legendary "Engagement Chicken" which is a lemon-y whole roasted chicken. Regardless of whether you're trying to get your significant other to propose, this chicken recipe is DELICIOUS and a great one to have in your cooking repertoire. Serve with roasted vegetables or a beautiful side salad. 

DINNER (SIDE)

Try this Grilled Asparagus with Poached Egg. I love cutting into the yolk and watching it slowly run down the asparagus into a luscious sauce. An easy substitute for poached eggs is to make soft boiled eggs, because let's be honest making poached eggs is annoying. 

To make the perfect soft boiled egg, boil your water and gently place your eggs into the boiling water. 6-minutes for soft-boiled eggs with runny yolk, and 7-minute soft-boiled eggs with custard-y yolk. Rinse under cold water to stop cooking and peel. 

DESSERT

No ice cream maker? No problem! Try this No-Churn Olive Oil Ice Cream recipe. You could add lemon zest and a splash of lemon juice for a lemony scent. If you're trying to woo a complicated foodie here's a pro tip: drizzle the ice cream with thin stream of high quality olive oil and top with a sprinkle of pink Himalayan sea salt. I don't know who could resist such magic. 

Want to earn bonus points? Bake Rosemary Shortbread Cookies to serve with the Olive Oil Ice Cream. Substitute finely chopped rosemary for the lemon verbena and chamomile in my recipe below. If your person doesn't fall head over heels in love with you right then and there I don't think you should date him/her.

Chicken Love Language

Roosters are very different from hens and have a whole new body language to learn. Roosters have two jobs: protect the hens and make babies. A rooster often has his favorite girl, with whom he spends most of his time and he will treat her like a queen. With Dude, he's smitten with Snozzberry and respects her boundaries. However, he likes to bugger Fizzleberry frequently and complete ignores Leelaberry because she hasn't matured yet.

Not all hens will willingly mate with a rooster, even though he is the leader of the flock. Lady Olgaberry and Butterberry want nothing to do with his overeager mating. Butterberry will run over to rescue her best friend Fizzleberry and "cockblock" Dude when he's trying to get some nookie. It's really sweet and fascinating to watch her look out for her friend. With reluctant hens, roosters must work to win their attention and affection.

Hens pay attention to several physical traits when assessing a rooster as a potential mate - size of his spurs, comb, and wattles, hens are attracted to his eyes (specifically the iris, or colored part of the eye), his earlobes, and the feathers of his neck and tail.  Researchers have discovered that hens prefer male roosters with larger combs. So size does matter, eh?

Wooing His Lady Love

A rooster can't just get by on looks alone, he has to attract the ladies with his dance moves. They'll do something called Tidbitting – the dancing and vocalization patterns that a rooster performs to attract a mate. A tidbitting rooster bobs his head up and down while picking up tiny bits of food, dropping them, and repeating to attract them his way. During this time the rooster’s bright red comb (flesh on top of his head) and wattles (flesh under his chin) move about.

Food as Chicken Love Language

The type of food a rooster uses while tidbitting directly correlates to his success. Desirable treats include corn or other favorite seeds, as well as worms, insects, and even small rodents or reptiles. When a rooster uses food to lure a female into mating, the hen evaluates the situation by listening and observing his actions, then forms an opinion. Sometimes roosters will tidbit and pretend he has a tasty snack when he doesn't. Bad move Dude.  

Chicken Sexy Time

Once the rooster finds a willing partner, the hen will squat down with her wings away from her body and stick her tail/butt/cloaca up in the air. The rooster will climb on her back, bite onto her head feathers to hold on for balance, and do his best to "kiss" his cloaca onto hers to get his love juice inside the hen's oviduct. What's a cloaca you ask? Keep reading...

Whoa What? If a hen accepts the advances of one rooster, then mates with a higher-ranking one, she can eject up to 80 percent of the first rooster’s sperm, increasing the chances that the second one will fertilize more of her eggs. 

Roosters are Great Dads

Roosters are romantics at heart. It is not uncommon to find them fluffing or sitting in the nests, sitting on eggs, or partaking in chick rearing. Dude is still a teenage roo and we're not sure if we're ready to be baby chick grandparents yet. But Dude and Snozzberry would make beautiful babies together.

EXCERPTED AND ADAPTED FROM HOW TO SPEAK CHICKEN © 2017 BY MELISSA CAUGHEY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

FACT: Roosters Don't Have a Penis

Huh? You read that right. Then how do they "do the nasty?" Most male birds don't have a penis, they have a cloaca (kloh-AY-kə) which is basically a butthole for both defecation and reproductive system). Some male birds including ducks, geese, and ostrich do have a penis. How is it that some male birds lost their penis? Evolution. 

Males in 97 percent of bird species have tiny penises or lack them entirely. Instead, they shoot sperm into a female bird's body through an exit called a cloaca

Speaking of penises, scientists discovered fossils that reveal how dinosaurs had sex. Since chickens are the closest DNA relative to dinosaurs, SURPRISE, dinosaurs also most likely had a cloaca but it was different than a chicken's cloaca. 

Ask Miss Pickleberry

In case you missed it, Pickleberry laid a giant MONSTER egg last month. We cracked it open to find out what was inside and it was a DOUBLE YOLK EGG. Watch the live reveal video on YouTube. Pickleberry hosted an "Ask Me Anything" on Instagram, here's the highlights:

Double Yolk Eggs are very uncommon, one in about 1,000 eggs. Totally safe to eat. 

Superstitions about double yolk eggs include, you or someone you know will soon become pregnant with twins. In Wiccan tradition it's a sign of good fortune. The ancient Norse believed that it means someone in your family is about to meet their maker.

Are some chickens more likely to lay double yolks than others? 

Young chickens who are just starting to lay or prolific egg laying breeds (like me) are more likely to lay double yolk eggs. This is because our bodies are adjusting to the new hormones. Also look at me, I'm thick with hips made for pushing out eggs. 

Explain pasteurized eggs vs fresh from a hen, please?

Good question! Grocery store eggs in the u.S. are pasteurized (washed to remove potential bacteria on the surface of the shell) and stored in the fridge. Fresh eggs out of my butt are coated in a natural antibacterial "bloom" layer that protects the egg so its safe to store at room temp. Pasteurizing washes off that natural bloom layer. If you get fresh eggs, store them on your counter and rinse in water before eating. Nature has it covered! 

How do you feel about Dude? 

He's a pretty boy with good hair and a dashing smile. He won't be all that when he loses his hair.* This was foreshadowing because the very next day Leelaberry and Pickleberry gave Dude an aggressive haircut and ripped a bald spot on his head.