Hi! It’s been a while since the last newsletter. If you recall the last issues, the newsletter site I used decided to end their site. Thus, I have returned to writing on my website. Perhaps, this will be for the better for you and for me.

As I concluded the last newsletter, I reviewed my experiences at each of the three yeshivas I’ve studied at. A little after I started writing on that site, I went to Mayanot yeshiva, and as writing on the site concluded, I have been studying at Hadar HaTorah, which I'm thoroughly enjoying. In fact, each day I’m pleasantly surprised at how I enjoy it here and how the yeshiva “came to me,” so to speak, fulfilling nearly everything I was looking for.

In regard to the delay with writing to you, I’ve looked for times to write, and I did begin writing. However, the seder (schedule) here is very focused and honestly, I love it! Writing may be less frequent, but it seems to be a positive sign that I want to keep the seder and utilize the time with soaking up what there is to learn.

In this newsletter I’ll bring you in a little bit to the parts of the day, with some lessons from them.

As a notice, the schedule is full and although there is time, I feel what’s most important is focusing my efforts into the learning as that’s what will build and solidify the foundation of the life I envision for myself and the family I want to have. Nevertheless, I appreciate you and will do my best to continue writing!

Top things I learned this month, one from parts of the day: 

1. Washing the hands: Each morning after waking up and saying Modeh Ani (thanks to G-d for "returning my soul within me,” a person leans over the bed and washes his hands. A couple months ago we learned a sicha (short talk), "Pada B’Sholom Nafshi" from the previous Rebbe. In that talk, there is a brief, but powerful discussion about netilas yedayim (washing the hands). In chassidus, water represents chochmah (wisdom). The hands represent “midos (emotions) and at the end of the fingers are nails.” It says that in the Zohar the kelipot (shells) attach to the fingers. Therefore, we wash netilas yedasyim so as not to give nurture to the kelipot. In short explanation, kelipot conceal holiness. Think of the shell of a nut or the peel of a fruit, which covers the nut or fruit inside. Similarly, there are kelipot that conceal cleanliness, purity, expression, and so on. When the hands and fingers are washed with water it reflects hamshachas mochin l’midas, drawing down the mind over the emotions. Here we can learn that our mind should govern the emotions. Sometimes we may feel emotional, and in the mornings when we may arise not feeling so well, this simple act can remind us to “wash” the emotions with the greater wisdom. One greater piece of wisdom being that this too shall pass and by practicing presence we can use our intellect effectively instead of react on emotions.

    

2. I broke out of my routine of meditation … Again! A few weeks ago, I went to hear Rabbi Laibl Wolf speak. In being with him, I decided to revisit the meditation practice he recommended to me during the 10 days of Teshuva (see How to enter fully). After chassidus class the following day, I sat to meditate before the minyan (congregation) started praying, and focused on being present. By creating this “new” space, the subjects I’d been learning arose in a new light as I meditated on how them. One discussion from the Gemara I’d been learning arose.

   In Gemara class, the current book we are learning is entitled Gittin which is about divorce documents and various cases of a man writing and giving a gett isha (a divorce document) to his wife. The discussions include sending a shliach (agent) overseas to deliver the document to his wife.

   In order to explain a bit about the meditations, it's important to share a basic background of the Gemara. In Judaism there are 6 orders of the Mishna, which is the first of the Oral Torah. Within each book, there are commentaries on the Mishna, which is called the Gemara. The Gemara Gittin is in the book of Nashim (women) which is about marriage and divorce. The tractate after Gittin is Kedushin (sanctification of marriage). One may question why divorce is discussed before sanctification of marriage. Upon asking one of the Rabbi’s about chassidus behind the Gemara Gittin, I received a response that answers this question. He had learned that the Rebbe commented that Gittin is before Kedushin because we have to divorce the impurity and limitation in our personal lives before we marry the pure and holy.

   In chapter two of Gittin, there are many discussions brought to prove or disprove a certain principle, which would make the gett valid or invalid. One particular example was brought in regard to mikvehs. A Mikveh is a body of "living waters," such as collected rain water that women and men (men by chabad custom) immerse into to, in short, purify the unholiness. It can be looked at as an act of transformation where a person (or utensil) immerses in and emerges anew. For more about the Mikveh, checkout the link above.

   In the Gemara there's an example about how the mikveh a community had got dirty, so many would bathe afterwards. There's a question if bathing in bath water - which is not considered a kosher mikveh - would make the person impure as he was before entering the Mikveh. The Rabbis ultimately made an enactment that it’s prohibited to bathe afterward the mikveh so the people wouldn’t start to think the bathing is what actually made them “clean” spiritually. If the bathing is what purified, the people might not immersing in the mikveh at all.

   As I was meditating, this sugya (specific issue) came to mind in relation to my practice of meditation and being at yeshiva. Throughout practicing meditation along with practicing jewish observances, when opportunities and positive changes occurred, I sometimes would question what’s really the main thing that’s bringing the blessings and changes - the meditation and/or being in Yeshiva. Of course, both compliment one another; however, each has it's purpose as does immersing in a mikveh and bathing in a bath. Meditation and Yeshiva could seem similar to the story in the Gemara. For example, on the surface, yeshiva may not seem the most physically healthy of places and can look "dirty". Also, meditation is shown to provide several health benefits, appearing clean like a bath. However, living in and studying in the yeshiva is the real mikveh, so to speak, that purifies and cleanses the soul. Meditation too has its place. It cleanses and refines the body and brain, so long as what’s meditated on is holy. This is how I understood the Gemara and what it came to teach me: the yeshiva is really what’s making the pure, spiritual improvement. This is also not to say bathing, in the example, makes impure nor does meditation not assist in positive change. The Gemara comes to remind us not to bathe right after the Mikveh so we don’t confuse what is really making us grow spiritually.

3. Writing to Igris on Rosh Chodesh Shevat. I’ve written before, most recently in Listening to yourself part 2, about writing to the Lubavitcher Rebbe at his Ohel. Every now and then I’d hear someone mention writing to the igris (letters) and getting a response to what they wrote, but I didn’t know much about it. As of recently I asked a Rabbi at yeshiva what it is and how to do it, and he instructed me accordingly. Per his advice, I wrote a letter with guidance on a certain question I had, then grabbed a book with a collection of letter from the Rebbe to certain individuals. I read my letter aloud as if I was reading it to him and then put the letter “randomly” in the book, like a magician who says to put the card back anywhere in the deck. I like to write the date for personal records, so at the top I wrote “Rosh Chodesh Sivan,” and quickly realized it was Rosh Chodesh Shevat! I did my best to change it to the correct new month and placed it in the book. I then opened the book and, to my surprise, the letter in the book was dated “Rosh Chodesh Sivan.” I felt in awe! In short, there were two letters on the page my letter was placed in and both provided valuable insight for my question. When I brought it to the Rosh yeshiva to discuss insights he has, clearer guidance was illuminated, as you’ll see in the next highlight.

4. Lessons from Rabbi Goldberg. Even from the initial visit I had of Hadar HaTorah in December, I recognized something special about the Rosh Yeshiva (Head Rabbi), Rabbi Goldberg. Over the past few months I have had the opportunity to ask him questions and guidance on personal matters. Thus far I have appreciated the perspectives he shares with me. One specific matter was in regard to what I wrote in the letter above to the Rebbe. Rabbi Goldberg helped me see one important lesson we can all appreciate, especially if it’s very subtle: a lot of my journey with meditation and it leading into adopting an orthodox life, has been about healing. Rather than focusing on the healing, and that learning Torah and Chassidus will help heal, instead, shift the focus to how you want to be healthier in order to learn more Torah and fulfill mitzvos - to fulfill your purpose. A simple shift in intention creates a dynamic shift in action, clarity, and being supported by G-d in accomplishing one's purpose.

Personal Questions to consider:

1. Look at all the actions you do in a day and ask what’s the purpose, why am I doing this thing, is it l’sheim shamayim, for the sake of heaven? Or, am I just doing it without purpose?

2. Gittin is before Kedushin, meditate on what in your life you can “divorce” ie let go of in order for something “mary” something better, for something new to come into your life?

3. As learned about the mikveh and bathing, what is the main thing in your life that brings in the blessings and transformation to your life?

4. Consider writing a letter to the Rebbe asking for guidance on a personal matter.

5. Is there something in your life that you can shift your focus about? Perhaps you’re engaged in physical therapy. Instead of obsessing over the healing and when you’ll be healed, focus on learning and executing the formula to heal, such as the prescribed treatment.

What I’m working on

New Kosher Meditation guide updating my previous Ultimate Meditation Guide

Interviews I’ve been on

Videos/Shorts

Rewind Video Series in honor of Yud Shevat

Two years ago Shliach, Rabbi Yitzchak Schmukler and I did a video series on Basi LeGani (lit I’ve come to my Garden) in honor of Yud (10) shevat, the anniversary of when the Rebbe (Menachem Mendel Schneerson) assumed leadership as Rebbe in 1951, after his father in law, the Friedeker (Previous) Rebbe (Yosef Yitzhak Schneerson), passed away on yud shevat 1950. This year yud shevat was on Wednesday, February 1. To learn more about the famed and foundational maamar (discourse) delivered on that day, and that day each following year, consider watching some of our videos!