Today's the day! I'm not typically a "happy birthday to meeeeee!" kind of person, but I feel differently about turning 45. If all things go well, I'm halfway through this thing called life, and what a life I've lived so far. I've lived through some of the highest highs and lowest lows imaginable, and am still here to tell the tale.

A few years ago, I started keeping a list on my phone of things I know to be true in my life, as well as some of the philosophies I try to live by. In honor of my big day, I'm sharing the top 25 (plus a bonus) most important things I've learned over the past 45 years. I hope they can help you get through life just a little bit easier. I can honestly say these are the things nobody ever told me when I was younger, and I hope they can help you now, no matter what stage of life you're in.

So just like the spirit of WTNU, I hope you can add some of these nuggets to your guide to getting through life. The beauty, the chaos, the mess, the thrill... all of it.

Again, thank you so much for supporting me and WNTU on this wild and wonderful journey.

Here's to another amazing year around the sun.

The Top 25 Lessons I've Learned After 45 Years

1. Your life is just a series of puzzle pieces that fall together. It's really that simple. Look backwards at the things that have already happened in your life and you'll see exactly why things happened the way they did. Whenever you start to feel anxious about the future, remind yourself of that. I promise you, the universe is working for you, not against you. You just have to let it.

    

2. What you believe creates your reality. If you think life is crap, it's going to be crap. If you see life as amazing, it's going to be amazing. Why not think it's amazing, especially when it's crap? (Think about that for a second).

    

3. Get out of your head; it's the worst place you can be.

    

4. As you go to sleep, think of 3-5 things you're grateful for. When you wake up, before you even open your eyes, say "thank you" for what hasn't even happened yet.

    

5. Start your day with a huge glass of water, before you eat or drink anything else.

    

6. Tell people you love them. A lot. Even if it makes them feel uncomfortable. Actually, ESPECIALLY if it makes them feel uncomfortable, because you're giving them a glimmer of what it feels like to be loved. They're the ones who need it most.

    

7. Learn to see rejection as redirection, because it really is. When you're at a dead end, give yourself grace and time to rest. Then keep going and look for the signs, because they're always there.

    

8. Never trust people who don't like animals. Even better, trust your animal's intuition about who they like and don't like. They're never wrong.

    

9. Learn the box breathing method. When you're anxious, it can change everything.

    

10. If people don't call you back, let them. If people don't want to be with you, let them. The sooner you learn you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do, the better your life will be.

     

11. Really get to know yourself. Ask yourself "why" you're feeling the way you're feeling. Then ask "why" again. Get to the root of why you are the way you are, why you treat people the way you do, and why you're triggered by certain things.

     

12. Smile at people. Talk to strangers (not the creepy ones). Offer help or a word of encouragement. A kind gesture that seems tiny to you might quite literally save someone's life.

     

13. Check on your strong friends. Especially when they're quiet. It's so, so, so hard to be the "strong" one. Please check on us.

     

14. Find yourself a favorite place away from the hustle and bustle and get quiet. No devices. Close your eyes. Listen to your intuition. If you give yourself enough space and quiet from the insanity of the world and really tune in, you'll get the advice and answers you need.

     

15. Play with your kids, especially when you don't want to. Even if it's for five minutes. You're what makes their world go around, and 1:1 time with you is everything they could ask for.

     

16. Embrace play overall. Laugh. Be silly. Remove "embarrassment" from your vocabulary. Who gives a sh*t if you mess up, look dumb, or seem silly? The sillier and more ridiculous the better, in my book.

     

17. If you can't remember the last time you belly laughed, something needs to change.

     

18. Prejudice and hate are rooted in fear. Don't be afraid. Ask questions. Learn new perspectives. Do your best to be a facilitator for good.

     

19. You and you alone are in charge of your life. If you're unhappy, make a change.

     

20. Don't bottle up your tears or your toughest emotions. It will make you physically ill.

     

21. Stop poisoning yourself with people, food, content, etc. if it's not working for you anymore. For example, giving up alcohol was the biggest and best life-changing move I've ever made. If people can't support you or judge you for it, they're not your people.

     

22. Ask for help and when people offer to help, let them. Don't be a hero.

     

23. If you're a woman in your late 30s or early 40s, get your hormones checked. Buy Dr. Mary Claire Haver's book, The New Menopause, and educate yourself on how to manage this life-changing transition. If you're the partner or spouse of the aforementioned woman, educate yourself, too, on how to best support and advocate for her.

     

24. Know what you want and ask for it.

     

25. Relationships and connections are all we have in this world, so never burn a bridge for petty reasons. That said, if you're sure it's a bridge you want to burn, really torch it. Light that sh*t on fire and don't look back.

     

    Bonus tip:

     

26. Eat the cake. And the donut. Especially the chocolate cake from SusieCakes and the Buttermilk Bars from Primo's in LA. You deserve it.