Time passing. This nebulous thing that we strongly wish to pass yet fear when it goes by. There is always too much time when waiting and then never enough.
So much of life is wishing for the next moment. Dreaming about the future that will be created. We think Time will produce this perfect painting with no mistakes and no negativity. Just perfect. But when Time passes, it isn’t that. It is cracked, messy, and nothing like you would’ve imagined while somehow being exactly how you imagined it to be.
As each year passes and we add a tally to our age, we mourn. We mourn that we are running out of time. That we didn’t do enough. That it is no longer acceptable to act a certain way because it is “childish”. When we are adults, all we want is to return to a simpler time but as kids, we want to be adults. Why can’t we just be?
This moment will only exist in this moment. It will soon be a memory stacked in a pile full of memories before I know it. The sun will set and a new sun will rise. Rinse and repeat. I want to enjoy the time between the rising and setting sun. I want to enjoy where I am at and not rush to the next big thing. There is so much to feel in the quiet and dull moments. How can we wish that away?
As time flies, I look around and see myself getting older and am self-conscious. I don’t know why things are changing so rapidly. While I feel that, I am beginning to realize that Time and my soul are dancing together. And as time passes, we become better dance partners. We are comfortable together. I just need to be comfortable with Time.
Time is strange. Time is something I wish wouldn’t be scary. Time is something that is beautiful because within time is where all of us intersect, connect, meet, love, and experience life. Time is a journey that might feel lonely but it is a shared experience.
*Some of these that I share are rough drafts but, I want to share my art and process too. Thank you for taking the time to read it!*
