Week 9 of 52
Loving My Bed Less
This week I journaled about a very human struggle: the struggle for a sense of purpose.
Here’s the thing, I have a problem.
In the mornings, I lay in bed.
I tell myself that I love laying in bed.
I stretch and breathe and roll over and take it all in.
That’s the good stuff.
But I stay there.
2-3 hours go by without me moving more than an inch.
I experience having too much of a good thing.
If I don’t deliberately open my eyes and look at some light outside, I don’t wake up.
If I don’t intentionally sit on the edge of the bed with my feet on the ground, I don’t wake up.
Laying in bed becomes a burden on my day.
I’ve become someone who “sleeps” for 10 or 11 hours, though I probably only really sleep for 7-8 hours.
Why does this happen?
Why do I lay in bed and think thoughts like, “tell me EXACTLY how I’ll benefit from getting up now instead of an hour from now.”
I think the main reason is having no sense of purpose.
I think of this as a BIG problem.
And I’m working through some solutions!
I’m resolving to DO certain simple things that give me my sense of purpose back (in small ways that compound).
One example is walking faster! Literally walk everywhere, like from the bedroom to the kitchen, with purpose. And keep your head up!
Another example is journaling.
Another example is consuming good books that remind me of fundamental stuff, like this book I recently read titled The Magic Of Thinking Big. It’s old, and apparently my parents read it back in their 30s, so they both enjoyed knowing I had discovered it.
Another example came from Jonah Hill’s documentary Stutz: first take care of your body if you want to heal your mind (workout/exercise, eat/drink good stuff, get healthy sleep).
Another example is taking time to close my eyes (not when I’m in bed) and imagine myself after I’ve died, talking to other friends and family and strangers about all the stuff that I did in the world, and how much life I lived. Would I have anything to say to them? Or would I find people in the afterlife who would swap story after story with me about challenges we went up against and tackled with courage and excellence!
I hope to actually have those kinds of interactions in my old age.
These actions give me a sense of purpose, even though I haven’t grabbed a piece of paper and written out what my literal purpose is (that is hard to do).
Then I find I’m waking up at a healthier time.
I find I’m doing the work that I set goals to do. (Granted, I also had to focus on one pursuit and set goals around that one thing, rather than trying to have 2-5 focuses.)
For years I’ve been in a slump without really realizing it. I’d stay in bed in the mornings and daydream about my day, and never have my daydreams match the reality of my day.
I’m fixing this in 3 steps:
Get my sense of purpose back
Live a life of action, not just thought
Don’t always share my thoughts/ideas with everyone around me. I’m trying to be the healthiest, best version of myself - my path is my path, their path is theirs.
I need to go to bed feeling like I did something great that day more often.
Cam
