What is your capacity? I’ve been asking myself and others this question for months now. Whether you think of capacity in terms of what percentage of yourself you have available to offer or whether you think of it as how much fuel (aka energy) you have left in your tank or even the amount of bandwidth you have access to – all of these are metaphorical measures of how much of ourselves we feel we're able to access and offer at any given moment.
Why is it important? Collectively we are still in a hard time – on many fronts. This, in addition to our own personal challenges and struggles we contend with everyday. It is draining. Our resilience and ability to cope may be straining under these pressures.
What can you do? First, you can make it a habit to be aware of your own capacity before it bottoms out. You can avoid burnout if you take helpful breaks and then reengage. Also, be sure to check in with others about their capacity. Especially your children. If parents and kids learn to have conversations around each other’s capacity to listen, engage, or act, then they’re less likely to engage in conflict and more likely to give each other the support and respect each desperately need in challenging moments. For example, let’s say your child comes home from school and seems wiped out. Instead of rushing to ask questions or make demands, you could greet them and, just like the routine temperature scan we’re all so familiar with these days, you could “screen” their capacity. “How much is left in your tank?” “What do you need to fill it up?” Maybe it’s a snack. Maybe a nap, alone time or screen time. Maybe a walk, run, bike ride, or shoot hoops. Different people need different things to fill their tanks. Help your child make the connection of what works well for them.
Now, more than ever, we need to prioritize relationships over everything else. Honestly communicating our ability to handle stuff in the moment, and respecting the capacity of others, is key to building strong, protective bonds in the relationships we care about and value most.
Be well. Be safe. Be hopeful.