some thoughts for october

helping you be productive & well

What is your capacity? I’ve been asking myself and others this question for months now. Whether you think of capacity in terms of what percentage of yourself you have available to offer or whether you think of it as how much fuel (aka energy) you have left in your tank or even the amount of bandwidth you have access to – all of these are metaphorical measures of how much of ourselves we feel we're able to access and offer at any given moment.

 

Why is it important? Collectively we are still in a hard time – on many fronts. This, in addition to our own personal challenges and struggles we contend with everyday. It is draining. Our resilience and ability to cope may be straining under these pressures.

 

What can you do? First, you can make it a habit to be aware of your own capacity before it bottoms out. You can avoid burnout if you take helpful breaks and then reengage. Also, be sure to check in with others about their capacity. Especially your children. If parents and kids learn to have conversations around each other’s capacity to listen, engage, or act, then they’re less likely to engage in conflict and more likely to give each other the support and respect each desperately need in challenging moments. For example, let’s say your child comes home from school and seems wiped out. Instead of rushing to ask questions or make demands, you could greet them and, just like the routine temperature scan we’re all so familiar with these days, you could “screen” their capacity. “How much is left in your tank?” “What do you need to fill it up?” Maybe it’s a snack. Maybe a nap, alone time or screen time. Maybe a walk, run, bike ride, or shoot hoops. Different people need different things to fill their tanks. Help your child make the connection of what works well for them.

 

Now, more than ever, we need to prioritize relationships over everything else. Honestly communicating our ability to handle stuff in the moment, and respecting the capacity of others, is key to building strong, protective bonds in the relationships we care about and value most.

 

 

Be well. Be safe. Be hopeful. 

 

"Just because you take breaks doesn't mean you're broken."

– Curtis Tyrone Jones

WHAT I'M (RE)READING

 

As I was gathering some background information to prepare for this newsletter I stumbled into rereading some passages from Brene´ Brown's book Rising Strong. I couldn't stop. I quickly moved onto listening to the audiobook on my daily walks. I needed this right now because it feels like just after we'd risen up and through the hardest days of the pandemic, we've been knocked right back on our asses again.

 

The message is about how we get up, dust ourselves off, and keep going when it's hard. If you've never read it, I recommend you do. If you have read it, like me, it might be time for your booster!

 

Bonus: Check out what Brene´ says about capacity gaps in this video!

 

“Check your life. Not boxes.”
― Richie Norton

When our capacity to function falls below a certain level we begin to experience burnout. This is not a state that is well-tolerated or accepted by most of us. In fact, what we'll typically say is that we're just being lazy or feeling unmotivated, before we recognize that we require a break to recover from feeling burned out. 

 

Take a look at this short (< 5 min) TED video where digital anthropologist Rahaf Harfoush explains the need to reconsider how we define and  value our productivity and creativity. Consider her advice in the context of our students who are being educated in today's high-stakes, high-pressure, check-the-box achievement culture.

 

WANT MORE?

 

Information about upcoming events click here.

Below are links to recent interviews, podcasts, and articles. Find more here.

 

PopSci - How to Get Your Kids on a Healthy Sleep Schedule

She Knows - Did Your Kid Skip Preschool During the Pandemic?

In The Know - Back to School Anxiety: How Kids and Parents Alike Can Calm Their Nerves

Parenting ADHD & Autism Podcast -What to Do  When Smart Kids are Struggling

The Genuine Mom Club Podcast - Can I Keep My Child From Spiraling

Teacher's Pep Rally Podcast - The Disintegrating Student

I wrote The Disintegrating Student to provide an updated roadmap to navigate the daunting journey through today's high-stakes, high-stress achievement culture. My goal is to start conversations between parents, educators, and other stakeholders to be more astute at recognizing the early signs of struggle and to intervene before students fall apart.

 

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