Loving Leadership

Do you love to lead? At Jessica Lightbourne Coaching, self-leadership is the foundation of all leadership. We love to lead, we lead with love, and we provide you with the tools you need to realize your goals so that you can thrive in every area that matters to you and so that you can be

happy, brave and free.

Let's talk about bouncing back and (RE)BUILDING CONFIDENCE!

 How do you BUILD CONFIDENCE?

 

Dear Loving Leadership Community,

 

I hope this email finds you well. As a valued member of our leadership community, I wanted to share some empowering insights on (re)building confidence and taking ownership of your life. The concept I'll be discussing today has the potential to be truly life-changing, so I encourage you to read on and reflect on how it can positively impact your journey.

 

In his book, Eckhart Tolle reminds us that "the past has no power over the present moment." This powerful statement encapsulates the essence of building confidence. It's about realizing that we are the creators of our lives, relationships, and reality. While we cannot control every circumstance, we have the power to choose how we respond and the actions we take.

 

One crucial distinction is whether we approach life as a leader or a victim. Being "at cause" means taking responsibility for our lives and being proactive in creating the results we desire. On the other hand, being "at effect" means feeling helpless and allowing circumstances to dictate our experiences.

 

I understand that bad things happen to good people, and I'm not suggesting that everything is within our control. However, there are individuals who constantly find reasons or excuses for why things go wrong for them, becoming perpetual victims of their circumstances. As leaders, we shift our focus from what is impossible to how we can make things possible, regardless of the obstacles we face.

 

Language plays a significant role in building confidence. Our thoughts and words shape our reality. If we believe we are powerless, we have already lost the game. Surrendering to circumstances and allowing life to happen to us perpetuates the victim mentality. Dr. Phil wisely advises that we teach people how to treat us, emphasizing that we have power over our reactions and the way we allow others to treat us.

 

I'd like to share a personal story that illustrates this concept. When I began working as a trainee for the Government of Nova Scotia, I encountered a colleague who was abrasive and took credit for my work. Feeling intimidated and powerless, I complained to my mentor, who shared Eleanor Roosevelt's timeless quote: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." At that time, I believed I was inferior, and that belief held me back from taking action.

 

Taking ownership and being "at cause" is a leadership competency that empowers us to believe in our own efficacy and take action. We have the power to choose how we show up in our lives and to create the results we desire. It's essential to recognize that we are leaders, and we have the ability to shape our reality through our thoughts, language, and actions.

There may be instances when we find ourselves in challenging situations, whether it's dealing with difficult people or facing professional obstacles. One such experience for me was when I had a manager who displayed bullying behavior. Initially, I observed and tolerated the incivility, but one day, something within me clicked. I decided that I would never be bullied or intimidated again. It was a pivotal moment that taught me the power of standing up for myself and taking action.

 

The journey wasn't easy, and I faced uncertainty and instability, but through that time, I learned the extent of my personal power. I discovered the support of my tribe and leaned on my higher power when fear crept in. Eventually, I resolved the situation with dignity, and it was a transformative experience that solidified my belief in myself as a powerful leader.

 

I share this story to illustrate that we have a choice in how we respond to circumstances and take ownership of our lives. We control our thoughts, actions, and the stories we tell ourselves. We are not defined solely by the facts or the challenges we face. Our language and thoughts directly impact our actions, emotions, and overall well-being.

 

Coaching Questions & Self-reflection Activities:

To support your journey of building confidence and taking ownership, I've included some coaching questions and activities for self-reflection:

 

1. What are your goals and dreams, and what is getting in the way of achieving them?

2. Identify the barriers and excuses you're making. Are they based on facts or self-imposed limitations?

3. Reflect on the habits that hinder your progress. What new habits and skills do you need to develop?

4. Are there areas in your life where you're not taking ownership and accountability?

5. What steps can you take to empower yourself and create the life you desire? 

Recommended Reading:

I'd like to recommend some books that delve deeper into the topic of "control orientation", a leadership competency that will allow you to be the most powerful the leader you can be, separate from circumstances:

 

Achieve with Accountability: Ignite Engagement, Ownership, Perseverance, Alignment, and Change by Mike Evans

The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life by Bernard Roth

Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

Atomic Habits by James Clear

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

 

Confidence Playlist:

Additionally, I've curated a playlist of empowering songs that can uplift your spirits and reinforce your confidence:

 

Brave - Sara Bareilles

Confident - Demi Lovato

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us - Starship

Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

The Gambler - Kenny Rogers

My Way - Frank Sinatra

 

Confidence Affirmations:

To reinforce your mindset and boost your confidence, I've compiled a list of affirmations for you to recite daily:

 

I am choosing to take action rather than complain

I am taking responsibility for myself, my life, and my happiness

I am aware of my strengths and my weaknesses

I am willing to learn, change and grow

I am choosing to do what is best for me

I have everything I need to be successful

I stand up for myself

I am worthy of love, kindness and respect (most of all from myself)

I am strong and courageous, choosing to act in spite of fear

I envision and expect the best

I speak my truth with confidence

  

Remember, as you embark on this journey of (re)building confidence and taking ownership, accountability breeds response-ability. You have the power to shape your life, and I believe in your ability to create the future you desire.

 

Lastly, I invite you to sign up for more information on my online book launch for Superbloom: How to Bounce Back and Thrive Through Life’s Sh!t, in September, here. The first 10 registrants will be gifted with a one-on-one coaching session and a special VIP invite to my exclusive in-person book launch later this year! These opportunities will provide further support and guidance as you continue your personal growth and development. Together, we can empower you to become the leader of your life.

 

Thank you for being a part of our community, and I look forward to accompanying you on your journey of (re)building confidence.

 

In loving leadership,

Coach Jessica

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Our coaching is for passionate women leaders (and a few exceptional men) who feel unsupported, defeated or undervalued, and who want to gain the skills and confidence needed to thrive. Our coaching is real, compassionate, and life-changing because of our bravery, creativity and commitment to unleashing your untapped potential. 

 

Jessica stands out as a provider of transformational coaching, creating personal and professional breakthroughs through one-on-one and group sessions.  She provides Executive Leadership and Lifestyle Coaching to people who want to perform better and reach their personal and professional goals. Her commitment is to support clients in living their wildest dreams and obtaining consistent results.

 

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Starting from a place of self-leadership and relating to yourself as the creator of your life, in all ways, you can move mountains. Reach out to us to get more info about what's coming soon and how Jessica can support you!

 
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