Author's Note:
There is a lot going on in my life right now that I did not plan for, expect, or anticipate: my career path; my marital struggles; my financial struggles; constant set backs; the death of my mom. I am not complaining, just merely stating situations that, if you asked me at 20 years old what life will be like in ten years, were never pictured in my hopeful, bright horizon.
Because of these events, I have come to question what God's will truly is for me. I can't tell you how many hours of prayer I have spent asking God to point me in His direction, to lead me in the way He wants me to go, asking Him for wisdom (which He promises to give us in abundance), and then the moment I see something that seems like His will I simply walk in that direction. But have I been getting it wrong this whole time? Am I misinterpreting something? Am I being deceived? Is this is just simply more spiritual warfare? How do I even tell the difference anymore? I know God has the answers and I know He will give them to me when He knows I'm ready, but man, all I see in my future is bleakness. To be honest, I feel upside down, like I'm floating in-between a nightmare and reality and I'm over here like, "hi Lord, what's happening???? HELP!" I wish I could say there's a funny element to this (and I'm sure I could find it somewhere with my sick sense of humor), but there isn't.
So, here I am, writing about it and I am going to continue writing about it.
Is anyone listening?
