Y'all. It's December.
Each year after the combination of turkey, stuffing, football, family, and cylinder-shaped cranberry sauce with can ridges still in place, the countdown to Christmas begins with all the busyness of the season. Although every year I vow to focus on the “true meaning” of the season, I inevitably get caught in the whirlwind of presents, parties, special services, and traditions. For years, one of the biggest stresses of the season: the family Christmas card picture.
After decorating our tree with every ornament it could hold without tipping over, my husband, children and I dressed in our most festive attire to pose for our Christmas card picture. Somewhere along the way, it became important to “put on a good face” to show my extended family how happy we are, at least once a year. Since Facebook hadn't become a "thing" yet, the Christmas card seems like the perfect opportunity to celebrate our Savior’s birth and subtly brag about our beautiful brown-eyed babies.
One year stands out. My children were 2 and 3. We were still in the days of film cameras…pre-digital when you didn’t know immediately if the last shot was a “keeper”. With no tripod, we placed the piano bench in front of the beautifully decorated Christmas tree and my husband began balancing the camera at just the right height to capture our little group. With the four of us dressed in coordinating colors and appropriate amounts of red gingham, we set the camera's timer. Two rolls of film and two exhausted parents later, I hurried to the one-hour photo developer to check out the results.
Although my husband and I looked exactly the same in every take, no picture contained a moment when both children were looking at the camera and smiling. I was obsessed and distressed. I did what I had to do. Taking the best shot of my son and the best shot of my daughter, I spliced, scanned, and copied my way to the picture-perfect family. We received so many compliments on our picture that year! I did it. No one had to know the effort involved in crafting this grinning group. I knew.
Each time see that picture now I think of the senseless attempt to appear unflawed and “together” as a mother. My effort to send out the best smiles on paper was more than just about showing my friends and family how much my kids had grown. It was a 4x6 glossy representation of my heart’s desire for approval. By sending out a “perfect picture” I was really asking, “When you look at our home, our marriage, and our children, am I enough?”
After all, what would they think if I couldn’t capture ONE moment
of happiness during the holiday?
A simple gesture of joyous greeting became a
fixation to prove to myself we were, well, happy.
Honestly, I wasn’t happy. I was stressed.
Christmas shouldn’t be stressful, right?
I lost focus on the Reason Christians celebrate. The holiday season is filled with traditions for most families. However, the endless pursuit of finding the perfect gift, tying the perfect bow, sending the perfect card, or posting the perfect selfie can distract us from the Perfect Gift. God knows we need little reminders like a cropped Christmas card picture to point out our need for a Savior.
Now my children are much older. Many Christmases have come and gone, some with pictures in cards, some without. Sifting through the years of photos, we love the shots with missing teeth and cowlicks more than the plastic-poised people.
Go figure.
