August - Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is especially important during the hardships and uncertainty we are having over the past year and a half. Most of us have experienced layers of grief and these feelings of vulnerability and loss can cause us to be extra self-critical diving into what if’s, should haves, and why’s. Our human experience can seem pretty harsh sometimes and that can lead to self-blame and feelings of “less than.” When Roan died those thoughts took hold pretty often leading me down a rabbit hole of self-blame and despair. Our society is filled with opportunities to compare ourselves to others. This constant judgement and comparison eats away at our self-esteem and is a key contributor to unhappiness.
Typically when we think about compassion we think about supporting others. First, to have compassion toward others you have to notice that they are suffering. Secondly, compassion involves feeling moved by this suffering and treating the person with kindness and understanding. Part of compassion is acknowledging that suffering, failure, and imperfection are all part of being human. The literal meaning of compassion is to “suffer with.”
What if that compassionate focus was directed toward ourselves? The acknowledgement that we are imperfect and yet doing the best we can. The validation of our strengths instead of our weakness. What if we gave to ourselves the one thing we may need the most. Self-compassion opens the doorway to building the foundation of resiliency, self-worth, and allows to make changes. Self-compassion also allows us to soothe ourselves when we are down and savor the moments that are good. Research has found that self-compassion can lead to increased motivation, less depression, more optimism, greater happiness, and more life satisfaction. (Kristen Neff –self-compassion.org)
‘Simply put, real change happens in the heart, and there the future of our world will be decided”. So the Dalai Lama recommends a 'revolution of compassion’ starting with ourselves.
Mindfulness meditation and gratitude practices can foster that self-compassion. Try some here.
