When I first started on this writing journey, I did so because I thought it a fascinating scientific inquiry, which could help me make sense of the plant medicine world I was engaging with. That perhaps my own journey in trying to bridge these two worlds could help others born into the Western (Global Northern) framework do the same. Indeed, that is still my sincere hope, but what I didn’t expect (although perhaps I should have) was that it would be a much deeper inquiry into self than I ever anticipated.
First, the writing process, which in and of itself brings up so much. How was I ever going to encapsulate the topic I chose? I was no authority in the matter, I was simply fascinated by it. But wow, the topic of consciousness? I really had to go with that one? There could be an entire book debating even what the definition of the word means. Every unique theory has volumes dedicated to it. Thus unfolded a deep journey with working and re-working my approach, facing my own insecurities, shadows, anxieties, and avoidance behaviors. Learning the discipline of creative flow. It’s a constant process but climbing a mountain must be done one step at a time.
I’ve come to realize that it’s much less about having the answers, as it is about asking the right questions. (Hitchhiker’s Guide told me as much, I suppose). This has become my north star for the book: My journey into asking deeper questions, which hopefully spark some thought and curiosity in the reader.
Second, the lived experience. Opening and running Soltara Healing Center these last 2.5 years took over my life in more ways that I could have anticipated. Being new to the entrepreneur game, I was unaccustomed to the energetic toll this can take, while also learning how to be a leader to my team, manage the operations, create and recreate the right systems, and communicate and coordinate with all incoming and potential guests. I had to take a break from writing the book multiple times over the last 2 years. It was just too much to handle, and I felt so much shame about this that I didn’t even update the people that had preordered it. For this I want to sincerely apologize. I am truly sorry.
Where it went even deeper, was when about a year ago, my stress levels got so high trying to turn Soltara into a viable company and project, that it physically manifested itself in what has since been diagnosed as thoracic outlet syndrome. Essentially, the long-term result of text neck, too much computer work, poor posture, and extensive stress and pressure which meant little breaks and even less self-care. The great irony of my journey so far - I was harming myself working for a healing center.
In the words of Dr. Gabor Maté, finally my body said “no.”
This happened in June 2019, and thus began the great coincidence this turn of events presented: an arduous journey of living out the experience my book was seeking to understand – how does our consciousness affect our physical health? How can understanding the link between mind and body, from both scientific and holistic perspectives, support us in achieving overall health and well-being?
I’ll leave the story of my journey navigating these questions and embodying my own answers for the book, but suffice to say, it appears I needed to live through and then integrate these lessons before I could write about them. I’m grateful for the journey, and I hope it will help others integrate themselves, whatever that means for them.
I so appreciate your patience with me in writing this book, especially if you’ve already preordered it. Your faith in me is not lost to me, and it has fueled me more than you know. I don’t like to do anything halfway, which in this case meant I underestimated the time it would take for me to live through the experiences and learn the lessons I needed to. I hope the fact that I’ve had to learn some of them the hard way means that maybe someone else won’t have to.
With the sudden drastic increase in time I’ve now come upon, as Soltara is suspending operations while we wait out this pandemic, I am making significant progress and hope to have this book out by next year.
Thank you again, and I am sending much love and warm wishes that you, your loved ones, and your communities stay safe during these trying times.
Very best,
Melissa Stangl
