Knighthood
The following text is also published on my personal blog Samhildánach. I wrote it after the Rise a Knight event. I was planning to write a general piece on chivalry, but it turned out to be a personal sharing about how knighthood is embedded in my own life.
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Eight years ago, I wrote a piece on knighthood; on the underappreciated value of chivalry. Today I would like to revisit the topic, because last weekend I hosted the Wild and Sacred Men Rise a Knight event in which the men rose with dignity, sword in hand.
Before I start writing, I will acknowledge that I will use ‘knight’ as an archetypal figure; not so much as a historical figure. I have acquired some skill in medieval swordplay and also got some experience in reenactment on me, so I am well aware that the medieval feudal knight and the inner knight are two different things.
To me, knighthood is the synergy of a set of values: bravery, honesty, integrity, noblesse, grace, purpose and service. A knight is a person who has dedicated themselves to something beyond himself.
Knighthood is a value so important to me that I had actually included in on my resume. And this got me my first paid job as a teacher, despite not having been graduated at the time. That was a risk I took, because knights are a thing out of the ordinary to most grown-ups. But then again, I reasoned, isn’t being brave and taking risks part of being a knight?
Being of service
For me it is clear that I want to help to heal the world. When I was about half my age, I found myself standing on the earth, realising how all life emerged from earth and how all life is sustained and carried by earth. The whole concept of mother earth made a whole lot of sense and it humbled me so that I knelt down and whispered the words: “Mother, I will protect you.”
Around that time, I also had to choose a study. I chose Law & Management, a combination study that would yield two degrees and would – in my imagination – grant be the best shot at becoming world leader of any kind. It was not the power or status that lured me, but the possibility honor the promise I mentioned above.
In my view, leadership should never go without humility and the realisation that it is ultimately a form of service.
But wanting to serve the greater good is not always easy, as it is not always clear what the right thing to do is. Should I donate all my money to all the charities? Should I never board an airplane? Should I shout at people who carelessly throw their cigarette buds on the floor?
My perception of what the right course of action is has changed over the years, and because of that, I have been able to become less stern in my morality. Still, I feel that my actions should always be beneficial to the good of all.
My job as highschool teacher is a very serviceable one. Teaching is an incredibly tough and important job, but it doesn’t pay a lot. Most of the teachers I know experience some sort of vocation. They really want to be there for their students and many of them are. Often at the expense of themselves.
After my experience at the Sacred Sons Immersion last summer, I realised that men’s work is is very beneficial to the world. That it heals the men involved and consequently their environment. And that is why I wanted to dedicate myself to sharing this with the world.
Integrity
Truth is very important to me. There are a lot of things I am good at, but lying is not one of them.
I vividly remember one lie I told and how this backfired: when my Law & Management study failed, I had to cancel my study grant and hand in my public transportation student’s pass. Because I traveled a lot, I went to the police and reported the pass to be stolen. I didn’t feel right; not just because false declaration is a felony, but mostly because it simply wasn’t true and I was telling a blatant lie to the officer. One week later, my wallet was actually lost, possibly picked from my pocket. The practical consequences were huge for me at the time, but I also felt a sense of relief that my lie turned out to be truth.
As a person I also try to be as truthful as I possibly can. I usually present myself as I am without any masks. Holding back parts of myself strategically was something I had to learn over the years. Sometimes diplomacy requires that, but I am aware of doing it when I do.
When I was studying for my educational degree, it was constantly mentioned that a teacher had to play a set of roles, such as the didactic expert, the pedagogue or the professional. While I could see that there are different domains in this work, the terminology of ‘playing roles’ never sat well met me: I can only be a teacher in the way I am human. Luckily there was some thought going on through the academic world about ‘normative professionalism’ which is about finding a wholesome way of being a professional without compromising your personal values and norms, which turned out to play a key role in my graduation process.
I believe that in my job as teacher, being true is a very important. You cannot pretend, as teenagers will see right through it and chances of an authentic relation are gone. In their work, the students notably often write down that they value honesty and do not like fake people.
I wouldn’t know how to fake. I can adapt to situations and settings, but I always bring who I am.
I speak my truth, even when it is at odds with what the other – or the majority – believes. Some tell me this requires courage, and maybe it does, but I just have to do it; I cannot just remain quiet. Especially when freedom is threatened. I guess I wouldn’t last long under a dictatorial regime.
Do I always succeed in turning this value into an actual virtue? I’m afraid not. I mean, sometimes I can be a little hypocrite too sometimes. For instance when I say my children cannot have screen time or candy, while when they are looking away, I play a computer game longer than I should while at the same time stuffing my mouth full with chocolate… Seems like knights are human too.
Noblesse
Though claiming knighthood is not without obligation and thus brings responsibility, it also comes with potency. I believe taking up knighthood comes from a place of strength.
For me, there is a lot of gratitude involved. I feel so thankful for my healthy, strong and flexible body; my keen mind, the amazing people around me, the opportunities given to me and the overwhelming beauty of life on earth – that I want to protect it all. Not to control all of it, but to honour it.
I think donning the mantle of knighthood entitles one to a sense of pride. No superficial ego-flattery, but a self-aware grace. Knowing who you are and what you may serve.
Rise a Knight
At the closing of the Rise a Knight event, I too contemplated a vow during our miniature vigil in the dark. The first thing that came to me was serving and protecting my children. What they especially need from me is that I accept them as they are. Especially when they deviate from the ideal image in my head.
And then, all domains in my life where I am serving came along: being a teacher, being a men’s work facilitator and being human. I vowed to be brave, honest and doing my best to serve. I spoke these words, rose and drew my sword, symbolising the power I have within to take on these acts.
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