This season I would like to share a newsletter by Shishir Arya, Director of Imagine's MBSR Instructor Development Program. Shishir posted to his community, primarily consisting of university students he teaches mindfulness courses to in India. I am always moved by his insights and I decided to share Shishir's words to our Imagine community as we welcome more and more wonderful people from all over the world.
- Summer Meyer (Executive Director)
Dear Friend,
Welcome to a new monthly nugget during that time of the year when, for many people, festivities take centerstage in life. That time of the year where the joy of community fasting, praying, and connection often gets tempered with the compulsive urge towards gluttony and shopping. Big corporations, to make a buck (or several bucks), create desperate bids to become a part of our celebration where association with purchasing a brand is often smartly and subtly peddled as associating with happiness itself. And we the consumer may sometimes be drawn into such associations so unwittingly, that branded messages promoting consumption can sometimes blur the deeper purpose of festive celebrations. So both as an invitation to introspect and a reminder for the underlying foundations of happiness, let's investigate the true purpose of different aspects of festival celebration.
Aspect 1: Fasting
On the 1st day of Navratas this year (typically a day when many Indian households keep a fast and eat selective items), was a full page ad by a prominent fast-food chain imploring the reader to "Enjoy this day by ordering a yummy pure vegetarian assortment of food items especially made for fasting days". Seemingly a noble choice but in the garb of satiating someone's hunger in an acceptable way, the ad fails to respect the real purpose behind fasting - self-regulation of desire. Positive psychology literature tells us that the more self-regulation a person practices (by methods such as fasting and being okay with bland food), the more that quality trickles down to other aspects of life such as emotional self-regulation, in the end adding to improving a person's experience of life. Unfortunately, the more we find alternatives to self-regulation (by succumbing to "yummier food items"), the less benefit the fast has. For fasts aren't mere rituals to be tick-marked but rather a step taken towards one's own wellness.
Aspect 2: Praying
I still remember as a child, prayer time often either used to be crib time or wish-list time. Growing up, visiting temples and watching TV ads, I started to associate putting money in the donation box, burning expensive incense sticks and offering expensive sweets as a currency of transaction to get what I wanted in return from God. The result was that while I may have at times gotten what I wanted, my inner world only grew more dissatisfied and full of craving. Until, one day, I read about the science of gratitude. Extending thankfulness for what you have is one of the most prominent happiness practices since it slowly begins to unshackle human-beings from the unending compulsiveness of "seeking more". Instead, every time you practice gratitude, you start to see the positives existing even in adversity. A practice that slowly helps us become peaceful within - irrespective of the circumstances outside. The true purpose and power of prayers perhaps comes not from seeking but from thanking. For every time we thank, we grow in happiness.
Aspect 3: Shopping
If you opened today's newspaper, you would invariably notice, the number of offers floated by different brands, each of which is trying to say the same thing - buy me and get happier. This is despite research telling us quite the opposite - i.e. the more you associate happiness with purchase, the less happy you would get. Research also tells us however, of one other surprising reality: if you spend it right, money can buy happiness. So what is the right way to spend money? Paradoxically, spending on others. The more one 'learns' to part with their own possessions, the more one starts to dissociate happiness with possessions. And consequently, the less power possessions have in determining how we should feel. In other words, in order for purchasing to bring us joy, it needs to be founded on kindness and giving. For the true 'happiness' purpose of shopping is the joy one derives through thinking of gifting whatever we're purchasing rather than promoting the unending compulsiveness of self-consumption.
As we end this month's newsletter, I hope that you recognize that while all aspects of festival make sense, in order for one to truly benefit from them, it is important to have the right intention in your heart as you engage with them. For happiness comes from the honesty in the intention behind the religious acts we do, not in how religiously we do the acts themselves.
Love,
Shishir Arya
Know Thyself Happy (https://www.knowthyselfhappy.com)
