Mark* came home from a long day of work and dinner was not ready. Mark reacted the way he often did when his wife Lydia* did not have dinner ready: he grabbed her by her hair and dragged her into the bedroom. Mark threw Lydia onto the bed, sat on top of her, and began punching her in the face and all over her body. Lydia screamed and attempted to break free, but she could not get Mark off her. Their two young children stood nearby begging their father to stop. Lydia tried to tell the children to go back to their room and that mommy and daddy were just playing.
Mark did not stop just because the children were watching. For months Lydia endured physical violence whenever Mark was upset, angry, or bored. Lydia immigrated to the United States and spoke no English, so she had no way of asking for help. Mark sponsored Lydia's visa to come to the U.S. so they could get married. As can often be the case in similar situations where the abuser is a U.S. citizen, Mark threatened Lydia with deportation if she ever reported him. Mark also said he would keep her from their children. Mark's behavior was repetitive: he would apologize for the abuse, promise he would get help and never hurt her again, but then something would set him off and the violence would resume. The cycle of abuse finally stopped when a neighbor heard Lydia's screams and called the police.
The police took photos of Lydia’s injuries and transported her to the hospital with her children. Lydia was told she could obtain a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) where she would get to stay in the apartment with the children and Mark would be prohibited from coming near them. In a telephonic hearing with a judge, Lydia's request for a TRO was granted; Lydia was subsequently given a follow up court date mere days away. At the first court date, Lydia was told to contact Northeast New Jersey Legal Services if she could not afford an attorney.
After court, Lydia walked over to the local NNJLS office and met with a staff attorney that same day. The attorney, using an interpreter, explained to Lydia the restraining order process, custody and child support, divorce, as well as directing Lydia to other domestic violence survivor resources for counseling and job search assistance. The NNJLS attorney agreed to represent Lydia in the restraining order hearing. Lydia also received an appointment to meet with other NNJLS staff attorneys regarding her public benefits and immigration concerns.
Over the course of the next year, NNJLS helped Lydia obtain a Final Restraining Order, residential custody of her children, child support, spousal support, citizenship, and Temporary Rental Assistance (TRA). NNJLS provided interpreters and translators so that Lydia could communicate with her attorneys and evidence of the abuse could be translated into English for court. Coming to NNJLS empowered Lydia to leave the abuse behind and start a new chapter of safety and security with her children.
Love should not hurt: if you are in an abusive relationship, please know that you are not alone. Most importantly, know that you have the right to be free from abuse. NNJLS will never force you to go to court, but will provide quality, competent help if you decide to pursue legal action against an abuser. We are here to offer advice, support, and connections to other services to ease the stress and uncertainty of navigating the legal system after escaping an abusive relationship.
The NNJLS Domestic Violence Representation Project may be reached at (201) 792-6363 or NNJLS@lsnj.org.
*Names have been changed to protect client confidentiality and privacy.
