“Know your value: Say what you mean and mean what you say."

May 2023

Rory McGloin, Ph.D.

"Family fun in the Florida sun"

Megan, Rory, & Mairead in Hollywood, FL, April 2023

What do you value? 

Go ahead … answer the question. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?

And now ask yourself, what have I done today that is an expression of that value? 

In other words, have you lived your value in such a way that those around you are keenly aware that this value is something that is paramount in your daily decision making?

If you’re not sure, ask someone: “What do you think I value the most?” I promise, their answer will provide insights beyond your expectations, regardless if you agree with them or not.

"Gaelic Football and Family"

April 2023

The “what do you value?” question has found itself at the forefront of many of my development sessions (and interpersonal exchanges) over the last several months, and for good reason.

When I ask audiences what they value, they write it down first, and then share. I record the answers in every session. What is most profound to me is that there will be little to no overlap of values amongst participants, even in rooms of 30 or 40 people. In other words, we all seemingly value different things and for different reasons.

On the other hand… the concept of successful communication, defined as a moment in which an idea or feeling is shared accurately from one person to another, is essentially widely agreed upon by the thousands of individuals I’ve worked with over the years. 

Think about this for a second. We have 100% agreement on what successful communication is, but we all have distinct and unique core values that drive our purpose and our passion.

Mairead "putting" her values into focus!

Blackledge CC, Hebron, CT. April 2023

So what? 

Here’s why I believe values matter in the process of effective communication (and it’s rather simple, which is always good).

If you want to engage in effective communication with another person or another organization, you need to know two things and they need to be as accurate as possible:

1. What do you value?
    

Your behaviors are the only indicators of your core values to the rest of the world. Everything you do is an indicator of what you value and that information is going to be used by audiences to make decisions about you.

Therefore, if you find yourself contemplating what to communicate in a given scenario, just ask yourself, what do I value the most, and then make a decision that is 100% in accordance with that value.

Furthermore, express yourself in terms of your values, and it will help your audience understand your perspectives in a more effective manner.

2. What does your audience value?

If you know what your audience values you have the ability to easily frame your ideas in a manner that appeals to them. If someone values time, talk to them about how the solution will increase efficiency. If someone values their health, talk to them about how the solution will relieve stress. If someone values freedom, talk to them about how the solution will allow them to have more autonomy.

If you can frame your ideas in line with other’s values you’re giving them the chance to appreciate the message in a manner that is most compelling to them.

Once you can answer these two questions you’re in a great position to communicate more effectively. Not every scenario will work out, and there will be times you’re not willing to sacrifice your values to accommodate someone elses’.

But, if we can live and communicate in alignment with our core values most of the time, we can feel confident in the long run that we made the "right" decisions.

Therefore, take some time to galvanize your core values and identify the north star that guides your daily decision making. Share it with others, and then ask them what they value!

You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how much you’ll learn in the process.

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