Educators, how often do we do this with people, looking for the annoyance while ignoring the good?
Teachers, how often do we focus on the student forgetting to put her name on the paper instead of the brilliant story she wrote? Complain about the disruptive student who made it to school despite having to raise his younger siblings? Get annoyed by the smelly kid who has perfect attendance and never missed an assignment?
Principals, how often do we get mad at the teacher who forgot to turn in lesson plans but who spent hundreds of dollars on clothing for her students? Complain about the teacher who skipped the faculty meeting but volunteered for three different school committees? Get annoyed by the teacher who leaves school at the bell at the end of the day, but who tutors students at lunch every day?
Superintendents, how often do we get mad at the principal who forgot to file a report but who has solved every angry parent issue before they made it to your office? Complain about the parent arguing for more playing time but who worked on the levy committee? Get annoyed by the union leaders negotiating for raises but who have taken pay cuts for years and still provided great educations for kids?
This is not to say that we should ignore every little foible exhibited by those we manage. When corrections and improvements need made, we have a responsibility to make them. But it is to say that we should spend much, much more of our time looking for the donuts instead of the holes. We should be grateful for the opportunity to work with students and colleagues who, despite their flaws, are generally smart and kind. When we look for the good in others, we are most often rewarded with positive relationships and productivity. When we look for “the weird thing,” we most often find ourselves cynical and jaded, and in no state to lead a classroom, a school or a district.
As we continued looking at houses, and continued finding “the weird things” in each one, my wife and I had an epiphany and asked ourselves an introspective question: what is “the weird thing” in our house? What is it that turns potential buyers off when they walk through our front door? Is it our water-damaged kitchen floor? The uneven sidewalk? The crumbling firebox? Our choice of paint or window treatments?
We all have a weird thing about us. It’s what makes us unique and gives us beauty. Let’s not rob ourselves of enjoying the beauty in our lives by looking for the weird thing in others. Instead, let’s look for the good in others, the kindness, the empathy. It will make for a happier school culture, and a happier you.
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