Sorry about the late hour, but these few words just couldn't wait till tomorrow.
I have been agonising about this newsletter for over two weeks, it's been a nightmare.
It was supposed to come out on the 1st of the month, like any other, but I've been staring at the blank page for weeks, the tab open 24/7, with just too many things on my mind and too many urges of different nature, feeling nothing but congested emotionally, fighting on way too many fronts in my life again, while uselessly rebelling against what was a constant feeling to lay down and just forget about myself, and work, and the world.
Then, a few minutes ago, pressured by the deadline of an offer, I did something I am fond of and used to (SHOPPING) but of a kind that was truly new to myself, and such it felt.
I have bought myself an online meditation course, a very specific one I've been circling around for months although I KNEW I needed it, that it was going to be the only freakin' way to come out of a terrifying stall I was sliding into.
I didn't think I was EVER going to ACTUALLY spend money on it. Not because it was who knows how big of a money - money is ALWAYS an excuse, like time - just because it was something I don't do.
Till I did it, a few clicks ago tonight.
Oh, my God.
So this is how it feels.
It just melted everything away.
I have finally chosen to believe in what I know I believe in.
I committed.
I have taken the first step.
I am bursting, with joy.
I actually feel a vortex of heat in the middle of my chest that sends out light for Humanity to bathe into.
If it has felt a hundredth as good whenever you have decided to fully commit to your singing selves and work with me, I am so glad to have given you the chance to feel a hundredth of what I am feeling right now.
It is all about taking that first HOLY step towards ourselves.
Now I think I know what I want to tell you for this new beginning, stay tuned.
I love you guys, I hereby commit to bring to this world an insane amount of Joy.
The happiest new beginning to you all, dear ones.
Sara
La Maestra