August 2020Newsletter-Issue#1 |
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The Man Behind The Upstairs Battle Hi, my name is Ben Romberg, a mental health advocate and someone who lives with depression and anxiety. For many years I fought my mental illness alone, without any support, therapy, or medication. As I got older, I became worn down by the stress of everyday life. I knew I had to do something. In late 2017, I made the decision to try medication for the first time. As I like to tell people, I have not looked back since that time. Now, having the support, therapy, and medication I need, I am able to finally move forward with life. I feel that my newfound work as a mental health advocate, and hopefully future speaker, is my way of giving back to the mental health community. No one should feel alone in their journey and no one should feel stigmatized because of having a mental illness. Whether you have been recently diagnosed or have had so many relapses that you have lost count, you are worth it. You don't have to fight the everyday battle alone. You Are Not Alone. Together, We Are Stronger! -Ben | | |
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To my Readers and Supporters I want to personally welcome you to the very first newsletter for The Upstairs Battle. The intention of this and future newsletters is to highlight people's personal experiences, whether they personally have a mental health condition or not. I think it's important for others to be able to have a voice in mental health, whether that is through sharing their story, showcasing advocacy work they do in their communities, or expressing through art and other creative avenues. Everyone has a unique, personal experience in their life with mental health. I am just one person with one condition of mental illness. By showcasing others, we can work on teaching and educating the population at large about, not only the personal struggles people deal with every day, but about all the wonderful things those with mental health conditions CAN DO. Again, thank you for checking out this first ever newsletter. I am excited to hear and share all the wonderful things people do in their communities! |
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Current Happenings I am an active member of my local NAMI chapter. I recently was certified as a Volunteer Peer Support Specialist in May and currently share my story to local establishments through NAMI. Recently, I did an interview with a local online news outlet, discussing the importance NAMI does in the community and my personal experience. This year, NAMI will be doing a virtual walk. I have done this walk twice. It's one of NAMI's biggest fundraisers every year. Please consider a donation. Even $5 helps. See link below and locate your nearest NAMI chapter. I'm looking to continue to build my portfolio as I work towards becoming a full time speaker. In the midst of the pandemic, it has been a challenge. It is a challenge, though, I am willing to work around. I am considering reaching out to the local school district to see where and how I can possibly help faculty as they navigate an extra challenging upcoming school year. |
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| | By the Numbers In a recent poll, 45% of adults in the US reported that their mental health has been negatively impacted by stress and worry over the Coronavirus. | | |
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| | Did You Know? 1/2 of all mental illnesses show early signs before a person turns 14 years old, and 3/4 of mental illnesses begin before age 24.[ | | |
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An Ode to the Class of 2020 Class of 2020. I see you. I celebrate you. I mourn your inability to walk across the stage. I know how hard you worked for this. My high school graduation was a very joyful occasion. I was almost held back a grade, not for academic reasons but because I attempted suicide my sophomore year and went away for four months to get help. Upon my return to Mayo, I was told I wouldn’t graduate on time. I basically told my guidance counselor to suck it. “I’ll do whatever I need to. But don’t punish me for having depression.” I took my six spring semester classes at Mayo and my fall classes that I had dropped through the Hawthorne GED program all at the same time. I didn’t want to explain why an AB honor roll student was being held back. Most of my friends were bound for Ivy League and top public universities.
The day I got to walk across that stage was the best day of my life up until that point. Here’s to you class of 2020. Written by Mare Einspahr (They/Them) Pronouns |
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Why I Unfollowed Everyone On Facebook For My Mental Health Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and beyond, social media knows no bounds when it comes to providing its users with a platform to share snippets of their lives and what is most important to them. Photos, videos, memes, headlines, and more cascade down our news feeds as we scroll. Now more than ever, social media has become the ultimate social distancing tool for the world’s population. We can still connect with our friends and loved ones through technology. Zoom no longer refers to how much magnification I need my browser set to see without my glasses anymore. I can now join a room to video chat with my mom who lives only 20 miles away or my friend who lives 5,000 miles away in Germany. YouTube taught me how to cut my husband’s hair when salons were closed (I did a pretty damn fine job if I say so myself). TikTok validated my frustration through lip syncing parents tired of quarantining with their feral children. Facebook has been another story. While it is a refuge for me to gather in a secret group for mothers who have gone through infertility and loss like I have, it also became daunting to check my news feed daily. I wondered what fresh hell it would bring to my mind. Rage ensued. I was tired of seeing comments on news posts from complete strangers that seemed to completely lack any form of empathy. I felt an inherent, unavoidable urge to respond to friends’ inaccurate memes and biased source material. Refute, refute, refute. I felt like I could do it all day until I was red in the face. I have so many friends who in real life, I know are decent, lovely people. But their views shared on Facebook through those posts showed me another side. It’s not that I don’t want to hear what they have to say. I don’t expect everyone to have the same views and thoughts--a debate is as natural as the air we breathe. But debates on Facebook are futile, in my opinion. Science has already shown that we as humans assign a relatively “mindless” approach to those who we interact with on Facebook. They are only as good as the words they are posting. My mental health was already struggling from being cooped up in quarantine at home. And now Facebook’s algorithms were influencing my mental health as well. So, one evening, I just went for it. I went through my over 400 friends and I trimmed the fat. I unfriended any friends or family I hadn’t seen or talked to in over 2 years. I unfollowed every single person except my immediate family and closest friends. And. It. Was. Worth. It. I get to see what I think Facebook is truly intended for. I get to see my friends’ cute babies. I get to see a new recipe my mom posted that sounds delicious. I get to see my best friend’s new puppy in all her glory. I see enough divisive rhetoric in my daily life. I don’t want to see it from my friends and family too. You may think this way of acting is another way of putting my head in the sand. But this is my way of self-preserving my mental health. When I feel stronger emotionally and mentally, I may follow those friends and family again, but now is not right. And that’s okay. - Anonymous |
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A quote from working with individuals who have been incarcerated "Anything lent from other than love hails from some form of fear." - Camey Ward, in promoting self-examination, softer consideration of the suffering of others in their verbal or action-associated expressions, and generally become more mindful of the ego's presence. |
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August - "The Dog Days of Summer?" The Mood-Boosting Power of Pets Pets, especially dogs and cats, can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and playfulness, and even improve your cardiovascular health. Caring for an animal can help children grow up more secure and active. Pets also provide valuable companionship for older adults. | | |
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Meet Christina! My name is Christina and I’ve been on a forty year mental health journey. I am now an advocate through NAMI SE MN as a volunteer helping people by providing peer support, facilitating support groups, and sharing my personal story in the community. | | |
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Finding Peace in the Time of COVID Despite our best efforts, any number of events could lead to a mental headache. A rough day at work. Your toddler having a marathon tantrum. Your bathroom scale implying that you can't live on frozen pizza alone. Before COVID, when I needed a mental break, I had a variety of options to find relief. Some of my favorite options were going out for a meal by myself and reading a book, going to a movie, or playing a sport with a friend. In the early stages of the pandemic, though, I was distraught that these three "releases" were no longer safe outlets. I found myself constantly struggling to cope while being quarantined inside my house. After talking with friends and family, I realized I shared a common view of the situation--even though we could go outside, it was like being on house arrest. Cabin fever was setting in, and the once calming and comfortable setting a house should bring became claustrophobic instead. My biggest breakthrough came when I stopped focusing on when things would return to "normal." With so many unknowns surrounding the pandemic, it was mentally taxing putting all my hope that it would be remedied in a short time. Instead, I tried to identify new ways to cope in the world as it currently is. I'll share a few of those methods below: 1. Adapt. I'll be the first to say this is easier said than done. Let's take the three examples for coping I listed above. Instead of going to a restaurant and reading a book, I could order takeout from the same restaurant and go to a park to read. I can still get out of the house and read a book, and I am still supporting local businesses in that way. It will probably be quite some time before I feel comfortable going to a movie theater again, but with the amount of content available for streaming, it's not much of a loss. If you're like me, I have a Watch List on Netflix that is a mile long, yet I will rewatch The Office episodes for the 47th time. That inevitably leads to me doing relatively mindless activities on my phone, and two hours will pass that would have been better spent doing something else. Lately I have made an effort to try something new on a streaming device that will be more engaging. Also, some new movies are being released in theaters and On Demand at the outset, so the option for catching the new flick when it first comes out can still be an option. With social distancing being one of the primary ways to prevent the spread of COVID, activities with friends has been largely relegated to talking to them from at least six feet away. One way that I have been able to exercise with a friend is by going hiking. On wider paths, we walk beside each other six feet apart. On trails, one person takes the lead and is always facing away from the other person while still maintaining the six feet of separation. Kayaking would be another good socially distant activity. I'll have to get creative when the snow starts falling, but I'm confident there will be other ways we can adapt. 2. Schedule time for yourself. This applies in any situation, but I'm going to focus on this concept as a parent. We have an amazing web of support from friends and family, and I am so thankful for all they have done in 2020. The part that is missing from past years is being able to have someone watch our child outside of keeping an eye on them in the backyard. My SO and I work full time, and we have been tag-teaming work and the care of our child all year. I am amazed at what we've been able to do, but it has not been easy. Sometimes it can be so overwhelming, but the options for relief are limited. Something my SO and I instituted a couple months ago has made a huge difference to me. One afternoon/evening a week, each parent gets to "check out" from being a parent. They can spend that time doing anything they want (with pandemic guidelines in mind, of course). Even if it sounds like the kiddo is starting World War III in the other room, it's the "on duty" parent's situation to handle. By being able to mentally separate from the burdens and responsibilities of being a parent for even one evening helps immensely. 3. Reconnect with friends. Wait--we're in a pandemic. That doesn't seem like great advice, does it? One thing my friends and I have done is play cards virtually through an app while being in a Zoom meeting so we can see each other's faces and hear each other's voices. It's not quite the same as being together in person, but it's a huge boost to my mental health to get to joke around and play games with my buddies. 4. Step away from social media. It's a daily struggle for me. How do you balance the desire to stay informed with what is happening in the world yet maintain some sort of barrier to shield from the incessant negative stories that stem from it? I have found great comfort in putting down my phone late at night at least a couple nights a week and reading a book. I've already finished two in the last month, and I'm starting another now. Research your local library to find out options for checking out books. The library I frequent allows you to put holds on books online. Once the order is ready for pickup, they will do curbside delivery, and you never have to get out of your car. It's amazing! It's easy, free, and a great way to check out of the world for a chunk of time each day. I hope you have found the above suggestions useful, but every person is different. Find what works best for you. Experiment and tailor solutions that best fit you. And remember that you're not alone. Everyone is struggling right now, and we're all doing our best to get by. - Anonymous | | |
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Re-Discovering My Life Purpose by Usman Khan Usman Khan - The Miracle of Today Please take a moment to listen to a short video from my new friend about his mental health journey. Please click on the button above. |
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This is a beautiful drawing from a friend of mine. This picture says a thousand words or what one must feel being a frontline worker, not only during normal times, but during this pandemic. It's hard to read, but some of the words she mentions are: Tired, Cry, Why, Exist, Help, and Push. Melissa Tang - Registered Nurse at The Mayo Clinic |
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The statement below resonates with me a lot, as a former healthcare benefits worker. One of the most profound outcomes (so far) of this pandemic has been the long-awaited recognition of the disparities that exist in the U.S. Those of us who work “in the system” have witnessed and lived these disparities through our work. We have witnessed Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) struggle to make it in a system designed by and made for only White people to thrive. We have tried to comfort single mothers in tears who cannot get benefits because they are $50 above an ambiguous income limit set by White male leaders. We have argued and fought with the system to stop requesting a non-citizen’s documents because they have requested them multiple times before. We have tried to assure those same non-citizens that we will do as much as we can to reactivate benefits after they were cut off because they didn’t turn in their documents because they had turned them in multiple times before. We have researched and utilized multiple systems of communication to try and help as many populations as possible. We have tried to translate written materials on our own into clients’ preferred languages because “the system” does not do this. We have told people they are worth it, their life is worth it, and to not end it because their unemployment will come through, eventually. We have stayed up nights, worrying that our clients with severe health problems will avoid the emergency room at all costs because their health insurance is still pending. We have combed through legislation, policies, research to identify solutions or potential loopholes to ensure the young, pregnant, undocumented woman is not left without financial assistance. We have tried, failed, and tried again to develop trusting relationships with our Hispanic/Latinx brothers and sisters so that we can assist them in getting benefits they are entitled to. We have felt guilty when, despite all our efforts, we are not able to successfully activate someone’s benefits. We have felt frustrated when we can’t reach a client without a home because their phone was shut off or they had to move, again. We have felt powerless when we didn’t advocate enough to prevent senseless murders, like Mr. George Floyd’s. We have yelled, we have cried, we have lost hope. We have hoped for a better day.
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Thank You for Your Service |
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“Thank you for your service.” I have lost track of how many times I have said this over the time I have
worked at the VA in Minneapolis. Whenever I encounter a Vietnam veteran, I always say thank you
twice. Over the time I have spent with my veterans I have encountered too many with PTSD.
Unfortunately, I encounter them after they have had an injury as a result of self-medicating with alcohol
or street drugs. Not only do I have to be there while their bodies heal, I am there while their minds heal
and while they and their families grieve and adjust to the new normal. As we adjust to our new normal
with COVID-19 the impact on these veterans and their families is greater than ever. When patients are
learning to speak and interact after being in a coma being able to see and recognize faces is important.
With needing to wear masks, the VA has had to overcome this challenge by utilizing new masks that are
see through. This assists with alleviating the anxiety that is a constant companion to the confusion my
veterans experience as they heal. We are lucky enough to have wonderful psychologists, social workers,
physicians, and nurses that ease the patient and family’s anxiety, stress, and fears. I only wish that we
had been able to intervene before the self-medicating or suicide attempts happened. Kate - RN |
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Next Newsletter Ideas? 1. Favorite music in coping with mental health 2. Stories of lived experience 3. Poetry 4. Personal video from Ben 5. Dealing with a new school year during a pandemic 6. Other ideas Please share this newsletter with others and help me spread the word about mental health. They can subscribe below. Thank you again to those who contributed to this first ever newsletter! You are Important! You are Brave! You are Heard! |
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I leave you with this joke. It's been around for awhile, but it's a classic! |
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