We work through change and variability in our own way, and my approach is not just to see the dance but to join the dance.
“What dance” you ask.
Nature’s dance. Life’s dance. Suffering’s dance.
It’s easy to fall in love with life or persist against struggle when the days are long, the sun is high, and our skin is warm and supple. It can be easy to be carried away with the playfulness of autumn, the colors and excitement, the delicious sweetness in the air, our food, and our festivities.
For many, this time of year is not so easy. And it can echo a time of life. A season of cold, a season that seems indifferent to our needs or desire to thrive, that is changeable, can be painful, and feels unyieldingly long.
When I start to feel a lingering heaviness or a persistent ungroundedness, like I’m reaching my hand out for any kind of hold only to find vapor and shadow, I know it’s time to pause. It’s time to lean on my skills and my practice.
I know that I am this body and these layers of being - and that I am more than them. I can choose how to be in this moment. I can’t control the movement of the water, I can either surrender to the current, fight it, or work with it. (There’s also a fourth option, where I acknowledge that there is no current, but that’s a blog or a conversation for another day!)
It starts with partnering with my body and my senses to understand what’s really happening, and letting go of my old stories and expectations. Those thoughts would color my perspective and limit my ability to see all possibilities and objective truth.
Recently, I’ve noticed that I’m tired. I don't listen to old stories about work and stress, or beliefs that “tired” is a bad thing. I just acknowledge the truth that in some layer of being, I need rest, rejuvenation, or both! In yoga therapy, we call that developing awareness without judgment. If I defer to the familiar notion that “tired” is bad and stress is the likely cause, the options for ways to deal with it float away like so many dandelion seeds on the wind, never to take root. I might rely on old habits of drinking coffee, pushing myself and disregarding my needs, and dreaming of a time when the stress is gone, (a futile pursuit!).
Without judgment, there are so many ways for me to support myself in this moment. In case you’re wondering, right now I'm sleeping more, taking more breaks throughout the day, reconnecting slowly and moderately with activities I usually love, and occasionally sitting with the uncomfortable feeling of being unmoored - and relishing it.
That’s me joining the dance. It’s the next and most vital step in my thriving, accepting what is so I can work with it. It’s dark out: let’s dance! It’s cold out: let’s layer! I’m feeling uneasy and insecure about buying a new home: isn’t it amazing that I am alive, I have the privilege and freedom to relocate, and I get to feel the whole spectrum of emotions?! I reconnect to wonder and I’m back! Let’s do this winter… life… trying to move!
I come back to my body and my breath and that’s how I prepare to step onto the dance floor with whatever is happening now. And sometimes, because I choose or because I’m experiencing something so profound that I forget I can choose, I get sucked in or lost, I try to flee or fight, I do things that are completely unproductive and beautifully human. That’s ok! We all get spun too quickly sometimes. We all need to take a break on the outside of the room and catch our breath or just watch for a little.
My practice helps me to see the dance, even in the most tumultuous moments, and that’s power!
What’s calling you to the dance floor these days? Scale and quality don’t matter. Is it the weather? Is it a kiddo struggling away at college? Is it business or health? Is it a snake plant that just won’t flourish no matter how much sun or water you give it? It doesn’t matter what it is or how it compares to others around you. It’s your dance and it’s important.
If it would benefit you to talk about it or remember how to partner with your body and work the phases of yoga therapy to find your flow again, let’s chat! If you just want to learn more or chat about this in a philosophical space, let me know!
Wishing you wellness, warmth, and wonder this season and this lifetime!
