Be Kind

In this Newsletter:

1. Thoughts on this broken world

2. Summer schedule & a story

I haven't written a newsletter like this in a while, but I feel compelled to speak.

 

In the wake of the shooting in Buffalo, NY and then the shooting in Uvalde, TX, and the stepping back of a female bodied person's autonomy over their own body, I am slowly finding my words, my why, my action. We all have a part to play, and that will look different for each of us. But it is important work.

 

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. And do the work. Do the hard work of allowing yourself to feel. Do the hard work of asking yourself what your part of being the solution looks like. And also the hard work of acknowledging ways in which you contribute to the problem. Me personally… I’m moving through the waves of grief and anger. And I am doing this by getting outside. By shaking and dancing and moving my body. By crying. By allowing myself space. By eating the foods that remind me of my childhood, by reading the books of my childhood that shaped who I am today. By reminding myself of the strength and the love of my ancestors who come before me, and the responsibility I have to those yet to come.

How do we do this to each other? Allowing senseless shootings to continue by refusing to pass sensible gun laws? Taking autonomy of the female body away? That a person can buy a military grade weapon in parts of the united states with no questions asked, no background check, no training required, but a female bodied person needs parental permission, a note from a doctor saying they understand what they are about to do, a mandatory 48 hour waiting period to make sure their conscious can live with their decision... Yet no female has ever killed a room full of people in seconds by choosing to terminate a pregnancy. What are we doing?

 

 

Allowing ourselves to be divided enough to see another human so much as Other that we can dehumanize them to the point of committing murder? And I have to ask, what has to happen to an individual that they can feel so isolated and angry and without empathy to kill their own grandmother and then innocent children and teachers?


And this is part of my why. This is part of why I choose kindness. This is part of why I believe in the random acts of compassion to a stranger could be be the act that makes them feel there might be a better way. This is why I choose to make eye contact with the cashier at my local grocery store, the toll booth worker, the bus driver, the person without a home. This is why I smile at the perhaps nonsensical words of the local crazy, and on the days where I have the internal resources I offer a helping hand.

 

And this is why I hold healing space for my clients, so they can walk through the world a little more whole, with a little more compassion for themselves and others. 

 

This is why I wrestle with the relationships with people who I don’t necessarily see eye to eye with, but whom my life has been inextricably intertwined with. And I listen to their story. And I also tell mine. And I understand we may not ever agree but I will still be kind to them. Because if the day comes where either of us have to make a choice between the other and a differing belief I believe we will remember that kindness.

 

And yes, it doesn’t feel like enough. And some days I wish I were more of an activist or an organizer, or had an inclination for politics…but I remind myself to be kind to myself. I find little ways to support those doing that important work. I make my donation to the Sandy Hook Promise and choose the monthly option this time. And I say that publicly because as someone who is not wealthy, and can fall into money scarcity mindset, I have been working to change the belief within myself that I do not have enough to share. Because I have more than many, and it is important for me to recognize that privilege. Failure to recognize the family and community safety net that I have is one way I can be part of the problem. I can pay $10 a month to Sandy Hook Promise to support those who organize and teach us to recognize the signs. And I encourage you to think about what you can give to support others doing important work.

 

Find your small piece of the puzzle that speaks to you. The cause that speaks to you. The way to make a difference that speaks to you. And be kind to to each other and yourself as we all navigate this. These are not easy questions. These are not easy times. 

 

 Do what you need to take care of yourself and then ask what is your part in this? How are you contributing to the problem? How can you contribute to the solution? What gifts and resources do you have to offer?

 

And, in between feeling the hard make room for the joy and play. Because that is important too. 

Summer Schedule:

Closed Today through July 7th

 

As I write this I am sitting in an air bnb in Toronto as my husband is at a conference called From Research to Reality a few blocks away. Yesterday we stopped at Niagara falls on our way up and took a secret dip in the waters of Niagara in a spot we found on the edge of the river, protected from the swift flowing waters. This is part of my joy.

 

Over the next month we will mostly be in Ithaca, NY resting, recharging, growing. With all that is happening in the world I felt a twinge of guilt as we left Charleston, SC for this month on what is mostly a vacation. But I have to remind myself of my why. For me, travel and adventure is a way I disrupt patterns within myself, reset my system, allow for new growth, and gain perspective. By leaving my daily routine I have a chance to re evaluate, feel things I haven't had room to feel, metabolize and integrate things, and make room for the new and the different. And by allowing myself to prioritize self care and joy in this way I hope that I give my clients the permission to explore how they can do the same in their own lives.

 

I want to share a small piece of my story here, of the family culture I grew up in that shapes how I structure my life. Consider it an offering to perhaps stir your own imagination, or just to better understand how I choose to shape my life.

 

My grandfather who recently passed away on May 7th was a psychotherapist and art therapist who worked for himself. And he worked until a week before he died at 93! Because that is how much he loved his work! His wife ran a children's theatre in NYC and would also sometimes lead workshops with my grandfather, bringing her knowledge of theatre and dance and expressive arts to the table. They were children of the depression era and children of immigrants and they worked hard. But they also made time for much joy and travel. For much of their careers they would travel to Europe in the summer to teach, mixing play with work. And they also taught a three week program in the white mountains of New Hampshire, where as a child, I would often stay with them. And even today those are some of my fondest memories and the foundation of a deeply meaningful relationship I have with my grandparents. 

 

My father is also a psychotherapist who works for himself and my mother an art teacher. Learning from his father, my dad would always take the month of August off, and as a family we would travel to Mexico where we would take art classes or rent studio space and make art as a family for a month. This was our summer family vacation. And in June, after my mom finished teaching her and I would often go to Japan to visit her family, as she is a first generation immigrant and her family are all still there. 

 

Now I look at my own life and indeed travel that is enriching to my heart, soul, and mind is integral to my life. Travel that includes meaningful family time, artistic expression, and, this is my addition to my generations old tradition, a solid dose of Nature has become a core piece of allowing me to bring joy and presence to my work and my life. 

 

This summer while in Ithaca I will be teaching a carpentry class to BIPOC folks with the Groundswell Center for Local Food and Farming (we still have 2 spots if you are interested! And yes, I was a carpenter before I became a massage therapist. But that is a story for another day), reconnecting with my Dances of Universal Peace mentor, and finding places and ways to dance and be outside. I will also be visiting my grandmother who survives my grandfather and lives in nyc, doing a father's day weekend with my dad, and, as I mentioned, supporting my husband as he participates in some professional conferences. So although I do not believe a vacation in any way needs to be justified, I do want to share how a "vacation" can be rich and dynamic and so much more than what perhaps we sometimes envision "vacation" to be! 

 

But I so look forward to seeing you all when I get back on July 7th and continung to support you however I can. I am already starting to fill up for those first two weeks in July so reach out or go online to book! 

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Me and my wonderful and devoted husband

after our secret dip in the waters of Niagara Falls

Great Oak Drive, North Charleston, SC, USA
843.284.3532

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