As parents, we believe that it is our #1 job to keep our kids safe. This leads to attempts to control our children in order to protect them. But does this approach really work? Is it possible to keep our kids safe, and is focusing on safety the best way to protect them? How does this fit with what we've been learning about power, control, and motivation?
Does acknowledging and accepting our child’s right to their own autonomy really put parents in a profoundly precarious position around their child’s safety? These questions are the focus of video 5 in my ongoing parenting series.
If you missed the first 4 videos, you can view them on the Intra-Connected YouTube Channel. In the first video, we explored the relationship between our beliefs, even those we aren't consciously aware of, and our actions as parents. In video two we discussed the essential role of autonomy in healthy child development, and the long term impacts of the shame our children internalize when their attempts at practicing autonomy are repeatedly blocked. In video 3, I offered a practical framework explaining the roles that power, agency, and control play in either suppressing motivation or activating motivation. I explained how motivation is not a simple "on" or "off" switch, but the natural outcome of healthy child development. In video 4 we looked at the question of who really owns power and control over any individual, including our children.
The goal of this series is to explore the nuances of parental power and control. I lay out compelling evidence to suggest a shift in parenting philosophy that will create healthy power and control dynamics in the family, which lays a critical foundation for the good outcomes we all want for our children and teens.
