the f word... 1 word flawless ! |
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Hey ! I can’t believe it’s been a week since the first event FWORD event. It’s taken some time for me to put into words how positively overwhelmed with happiness I am on how successful the event was, and of course we want to do this again but even better so participating in our 2 MINUTE survey will help us to do just that. But first I need to big up all of you who bought and sponsored a ticket (MASSIVE THANK YOU to my friend Barbara all the way from Canada who sponsored one of those tickets). For you all who attended, because many of us who may be working, have children and families, or just simply booked and busy , still came out and somewhat contributed to making history. I say history not to exaggerate but to remind you that all around fifty of you came to an unknown space, to hear stories about a undiscussed topic: FERTILITY. This is isn't something that really happens in our community. Not even myself knew how the conversation would go down, the stories we heard were heavy, deep but also rich. Rich in the fact that five brave and inspirational women spoke about their personal journeys associated with fertility and reproductive health. These stories essentially have contributed to Femelanin’s overall mission to illuminate existing topics like Fertility that also form part of a black woman’s narrative but is very seldom captured as part of our narrative, despite being at the very core of our being as black women. In some ways I could already see some light at the end of tunnel- a normalised and comfortable conversation on fertility and reproductive health. Every story was unique in it’s own way, and before I summarise those stories I want to shout out to my beautiful friend Aminata Kamara, who not only opened up by sharing her own story on an ectopic pregnancy but also asked the most poignant questions that captured the depths of each story so well. |
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Vanessa Vanderpuye spoke about her gruelling journey with Endometriosis for 15 years, which made her a stronger person, and so powerfully concluded by saying, “Endometriosis will not define me’. Everything has been a process and being busy helps me to forget the pain”. |
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Nerissa’s journey and story was very unique and moving. I mean it was one thing having black women in one space talking about such an intimate topic, but it was also humbling that Femelanin have created that space to allow a brave female like herself to talk about her surrogacy journey. To be honest I would love to hear more from Nerissa , but I leave you with some important words she ended her powerful story with, (to women with MRKH) “Please don’t think it’s the end, because you will have children . You haven’t got a womb but everything else works .. .It will happen one day but it will cost” |
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Yvonne… that beautiful lady’s words of wisdom and honesty is just amazing. One of the things that stuck with me personally was when she spoke about having hope and a great life despite being childless after being diagnosed with unexplained infertility , she said, “I still matter as a childless woman , even though I made a decision to not have a child” |
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Our last two panellists, Ella and Hannah both successful YouTuber’s already document the beautiful and not so glamorous parts of family life etc, however on that evening they graced our audience with their individual and moving stories on baby loss. After recently, and sadly dealing with a loss in her second twin pregnancy, Ella beautifully reminded us that in grief communication is key, and after enduring such a painful loss twice, to her the definition of a strong black woman is, “A woman who has been through the fire, survived it, and endured regardless of the wounds she carries”. Hannah, who is an ectopic pregnancy survivor so perfectly summed everything up by saying despite how traumatic her experience is, she is grateful to be alive and so in all things “Be grateful for the now”. It was even more promising to hear that after the ectopic pregnancy she has had a son a few months ago. What an amazing story of HOPE and FAITH. |
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Overall there were some key themes that framed the the lessons we learned, and the words of encouragement which is so carefully summed up by these two quotes by Brené Brown: “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.” So I leave you with one more FWORD ... FEEDBACK! LOL, honestly, your feedback will help us to do this again, and even better. Much Love, and enjoy what's left of the weekend. Vanessa Found(her) of Femelanin x |
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