“Undernourished”; that, is the word.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on it for months (since I do eat, and not little!) and it was my body to finally scream the word my mind couldn’t think of.
So, to answer in one many of your kind replies and worries, I am not merely thin, I am undernourished and, after months of pondering, it turned out that it has to do precisely with my work, the one I share with you and keep you posted about.
I feel and look like the legendary wolf of Rome.
Amazingly, most of your reviews about me and my work revolve around the passion and devotion I put in it: that amazes me every time, I've felt nothing but a big void for months now, and the need for long walks on the beach in the sun. I’m gonna have to stop for a while to take care of myself, since it's pretty obvious that no one else does.
I’ve been able to get through COVID as a freelancer and without ever having another job, but I’ve only managed to provide myself with some money and a decent amount of pride,
yet not quite enough nourishment.
At least, not the good nourishment an artist and teacher (and woman) should be able to rely on to keep up with a certain quality and quantity of work.
By the way, although I need to make a living like anybody else, I don’t think I’ll ever do what I do for money again, it wouldn't be worth it if I got paid four times as much as I do and, most importantly, it wouldn't be right.
My research should be either recognised and passed on institutionally, as a necessary infrastructure, a right for every student and artist to receive (as well as a duty for them to pass on afterwards) or it can peacefully go back into its drawer.
This cannot be handled privately any longer: I tried, I did quite well, but the cost was high even for me - and I can take a lot.
Denutrita: bless this word, I feel it popped up to stop me right on time.
