The world is in constant flux. It's getting faster, too. Have you noticed? It seems like every time I turn around something is changing - personally, professionally, for our country. Do you have a hard time keeping up? I certainly do! And I tend to feel negatively about change - at least in the beginning.
Until.
I've noticed that when I'm feeling negative emotions, I'm overthinking things. When I slow down to feel the moodiness that's arising, I can usually realize that the mood is happening because I'm either afraid of something going wrong in the future or I'm trying to hang onto the past.
The emotions are driving my stories - there's a lot going on in my head. There's only one thing missing: PRESENCE.
Real life example:
My partner is moving out and we are still very much in love. We're not breaking up, it's simply time for a change. I find myself experiencing one of three emotions: anger, sadness, or fear. When I slow myself down I can figure out from where my emotions stem:
My anger is directed toward someone or at situations that I want to blame.
Every time I'm feeling fear, I'm looking at the future and telling myself stories of uncertainty, loneliness, and having to work hard.
When I'm feeling sadness, I'm looking at our past beautiful memories and stuck in old beliefs ("We have to live together to have a functional relationship.").
I allow myself to feel the emotions because I actually relish in the presence of that. However, when I notice the emotions are affecting my mood, I try to remember to ground myself in what's actually happening right now. I don't want to be moody - it's not helpful or honest to the situation. The situation is a positive thing.
When I'm present, I realize very quickly that I am actually okay. I don't need to be angry or blame anyone. I can be grateful, rather than sad, that my memories were created at all! And I have proof that everything always works out better than I plan, so there's really nothing to be afraid of. When I ground in presence, I notice that everything is okay in this very moment, and I will know the next right action when it's time to take it. Presence helps me to be aware of what's true = there is still loads of love here. And really, that's all I need to know.
Here are two of my favorite tricks to get myself present:
Step outside, and close your eyes. Listen to the sounds happening around you without labeling where they come from. Simply say, "I hear that" with each sound. Do this until you feel relaxed, almost as if the emotions you were experiencing have lifted.
Wash my hands while intentionally experiencing every sensation:
Feel the water.
Smell the soap.
Listen to the sounds.
Can I taste anything?
What do I see around me?
Once I'm present, I'm able to feel love. I'm out of the fear (future thinking) and the sadness (past thinking) or blame ("them" thinking).
Also, I love this quote:
"What if we're not here to make an impact on the world;
what if the world is here to make an impact on us?"
