Our Two Doormats

As an Ohioan, I don’t think I am supposed to say this, but I hate spring. Ohioans, and Midwesterners in general, are supposed to love spring. After the cold, gray days of winter, we are supposed to be rejuvenated by the earth’s rebirth, by the bloom of the crocuses and the return of the sun.

Whatever.

Spring is windy and muddy. My skin dries out, my face gets wind-burned, and just when I think it is safe to go outside, I sink six inches into the muddy slop that is my backyard. The sunlight gives me a feeling of guilt being inside, but being outside is a sloppy mess.

The evidence is in my door mats. The welcome mat at the front door—when it is not blowing away—is impeccable. It is clean and clear and void of any icky or sloppy remnants of the yard.

That is on purpose.

We want guests to see a façade, a glimpse into an imaginary world of cleanliness behind the door. It’s like so many Facebook posts of families loving and caring and celebrating and vacationing, when you know darn well the spouses are fighting, the kids are spoiled, and they are in debt up to their ears.

You can eat off of our front door mat.

The mat at the back door is a different story.

The mat at the back is covered in mud. Shoes and boots overload it, and shrapnel from the yard litters it. Sunflower seeds. Dead leaves. Dirt clogs. Little baby rocks. Dog fur. When you step on it, you just feel dirty, and you hope no visitor to your home ever sees it.

We all have two mats.

The mat presented to the world is holier than it appears. The mat nobody sees is closer to the reality that is our lives.

Our goal, I think, is to try to get the mats more in line with each other. Of course, a certain casualness is fine behind closed doors. When I come home, no matter what day of the year it is, I put on shorts and a t-shirt. I would not present myself like that at, say, a board meeting, but it is the real Joe. But we should not let that mat at the back door get too dirty. Vices that come in the form of misuse of substances, vanity, gossip, envy—these are all things that dirty our mats and have no business being there. You don’t have to be able to eat off your back doormat, but you should at least feel comfortable invoking the five-second-rule if you drop a pretzel on it.

The mat at the front door, though, is also something we should not work so hard to give a false impression of perfection. First, it is tiring trying to be something we are not. Second, spending time trying to give a false front steals time that we could otherwise use being with the important people in our lives.

Brene Brown talks a lot about this in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection. She writes, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

All of us have a resume outlining all the successes of our educational and work careers. We use them to brag about ourselves and to find new jobs with more responsibilities and greater rewards. But the problem with glowing resumes—the problem with spotless door mats—is that they give people the false impression that everything in life came easy to us.

Johannes Haushofer, Assistant Professor of Psychology and Public Affairs at Princeton, said, “Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible. I have noticed this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me. As a result, they are more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic, applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days.”

Based on advice from Francesca Gino’s book Rebel Talent: Why It Pays to Break the Rules at Work and in Life, and re-encouraged by Daniel Pink’s latest book The Power of Regret, I have created my own Resume of Failure. It shows all the times that things didn't work out for me, and hopefully shows that successes come from a lot of hard work. Check it out, and maybe consider creating your own.

We all have two mats. The front mat should maybe not appear so falsely clean, and the back mat should be tidied up a bit. After all, winter is gone. Time for a little spring cleaning.

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It took me exactly one day to read this book from cover to cover. I sat on my patio for two hours without stopping. I've not done that in years, last time was a very well written fiction series, not a book on leadership. This book is sensational, and Dr. Clark's witty writing style combines with stories, wisdom, and anecdotes that are as relatable as they are applicable. If you have any sort of interaction with students in a school setting, the application of Dr. Clark's writings in this book will literally change the world for your students. It doesn't matter if you're the custodian, the bus driver, the reading tutor...if you work with students, pick this book up, then get to work living out its advice.

Fred Rogers, of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, had a knack for breaking the hard things in life down to a simple level and expressing those things to children in a non-intimidating way. Likewise, Dr. Joe Clark in this book has a knack for breaking down the hardest parts of leadership in education into simple terms, and he delivers his message in such a way that it feels like nothing more than friendly advice from a neighbor. This book will forever be in my recommendations to fellow school employees and educators. Thank you for the excellent read, Dr Clark!

     -Zach Bruce, verified Amazon purchaser

Great book! My best read of 2020. Easy to read and relate to. Highly recommend for those new to school administration and looking for practical wisdom. Dr. Clark’s humor and honesty combine to encourage you to “change the song.”

     -Katie, verified Amazon purchaser

Dr. Clark’s book is full of practical, humorous, and wise advice for school leaders. The honesty with which he writes is inspiring and reminds us how important it is to always put kids first.

      -Michelle Kravetz, verified Amazon purchaser

The raw vulnerability with impeccable humor and a whole lot of honesty is exactly what Joe has served up for you! If you've ever made a mistake or think you will, then this is a must-read. The lens in which he spins (pun intended) this book is insightfully hilarious!

     -LaVonna Roth, Speaker, Author & Chief Illuminator of Ignite Your S.H.I.N.E.®

It's been said that we never know the struggles that someone is going through, so we should treat them kindly always. In If the Dance Floor Is Empty, Change the Song, Joe Clark embraces his own vulnerability to share how he reclaimed his story after a traumatic childhood, and shares how he used his life experiences, and his experiences as a DJ and camp director, to guide his work as a school leader. This book is an often humorous, sometimes melancholy look into what teaching and school leadership is all about. It's a tremendous read that I know you'll enjoy.

     -Thomas C. Murray, Author of Personal & Authentic: Designing Learning Experiences that Impact a Lifetime

If the Dance Floor Is Empty, Change the Song is a look into the world of leadership, education, and how to treat students. Dr. Clark writes to inspire teachers, principals and superintendents to reflect on the mission of being educators while being reminded to enjoy their work. This quick read will help you reflect and smile as Dr. Clark shares meaning and humor in everyday moments.

     -Todd Whittaker, one of the nation’s leading authorities on staff motivation, teacher leadership, and principal effectiveness. Todd has written over 50 books including the national bestseller, What Great Teachers Do Differently. 

A refreshing read for leaders or educators of all levels both! This is the type of read that can rejuvenate a veteran or give new teachers tools to keep their morale and inspiration at its peak. The lessons you learn from this book can carry over throughout the year, even when you don't know if you can. 

     -Amber Teamann, principal of Whitt Elementary in Wylie ISD in Wylie, Texas. Amber has  received numerous awards, including Regional Assistant Principal of the Year and a “Principal of the Year” engagement award. She recently was recognized as the Dallas Down Syndrome Educator of the Year for her work with inclusivity on her campus.

“If the Dance Floor is Empty, Change the Song” by Joe Clark, is a cleverly-written book that will not only make you think about how we approach our jobs as educators, but it will make you chuckle out loud. Filled with personal stories, practical examples, on-point illustrations, and golden nuggets of wisdom, this book will be hard for readers to put down.

     -Jimmy Casas, Educator, Author, Speaker, Leadership Coach

If the Dance Floor Is Empty, Change the Song is a book that will leave you smiling and laughing at times. It will also validate your thinking about education at times. More importantly, it will challenge you to re-think why we serve as educators and what is most important when discussing education and the purpose of schools. This book is filled with scores of reflections on teaching, learning, and leading that are applicable to educators in all roles, especially school leaders.

     -Jeffrey Zoul, Ed.D., Author, Speaker, Leadership Coach, and President of ConnectEDD

As a newly appointed principal, I found this book witty, insightful, and inspiring. The real life stories and anecdotes that Dr. Clark provide, are relatable to teachers, school managers, and, honestly, anyone in a position of leadership. If the Dance Floor Is Empty, Change the Song should be required reading for both new and seasoned school administrators alike. It should be part of every principal and teacher’s motivational toolkit. 

     -David Thomas, Principal, St. Gabriel’s Special School, Bishopstown, Cork, Ireland

Great, another leadership book! That was my first thought when I was asked to read If the Dance Floor is Empty, Change the Song. Once I read the first few pages I was hooked, I truly wanted to dance. Finally, a leadership book with great advice and a vast amount of humor. Yes, school is serious business. But if you don’t laugh and enjoy the experiences then why even be a school leader. Dr. Joe Clark has created an informative quick read that gives you relatable and useful information. I truly did laugh out loud at graphics, pie charts and stories. If you can’t relate to this book, then you truly have never danced to a good song or sat back and enjoyed the experience of being a school leader.  

     -Jack Berckemeyer, nationally-recognized presenter, author, and humorist. Former Assistant Executive Director for the National Middle School Association. 

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