#thIMPULSE - EDITION 06.2020 - World Environment Day - A Thought about Culture

Chinese Culture - 8 lessons I learnt from living and working in China

#2 mianzi 面子, the most delicate but also the most precious notion to take care of.

 This is an extract of my monthly column thIMPULSE released the 5th of June.

For the complete Edition, subscribe at: http://bit.ly/3a2A4NC . 

Look me in the eyes baby and I tell you who you are.

In this concrete case, you do not see any motion and will certainly not be able to tell what is on baby’s mind.

The face is without expression.

Even when in rage or anger, even when in joy or happiness, the face will not reveal this.

But of course, the notion of “face” is far more subtle and far more delicate AND certainly, it is far more important.

In summary, it is the essence of dealing with Chinese.

If you are causing a Chinese to lose the face, the connection and relationship is lost.

If you are able to give face…you are THE winner.

Sounds easy, but it is in reality very difficult.

First of all to intellectually understand the concept is quite abstract for westerners.

“Face can be described as a combination of social standing, reputation, influence, dignity, and honor.” Tripsavy.com

Losing face can be anything that could devalue a Chinese: e.g. saying directly "no", forgetting to invite, criticizing in public, refusing support...There are the obvious ones and there are the subtle ones very difficult to get.

Then to apply it on a day to day base is even harder.

Our western natural temper and upbringing gives us a disadvantage.

We value honesty and direct feedback.

To grasp the notion of face we need to deploy empathy and patience, sometimes even the exact opposite of being brutally honest. Hiding and packing honesty differently.

But on the other hand, it is like with all things in life, good intentions count and TRYING will get you there (and of course, this article will help ).

Most importantly: if you apply this and understand it perfectly it does not mean that it will necessarily lead to short term business success BUT certainly to cultural understanding and long term value.

A good example to illustrate this concept was a cultural dance competition I was participating in a very long time ago. Every contender had to present their dance performance and judges were marking simultaneously. But at the end, instead of defining a winner, all contenders won an award, just different awards each (from most creative to most authentic). So in essence everybody was given face for their performances and nobody had to loose (a very motivating aspect in this case).

When translating this into the business world, you will find similar approaches when it comes to company awards, raffle draws….

This is also very relevant for giving feedback to employees or colleagues: direct and very black and white feedback tends to be very harsh in China. Typically feedback is packaged in far softer words and tones. Also Chinese are typically very skilled in reading subtle notions and non verbal cues.

Often Chinese bosses do not even give feedback but the employee will inherently know what the boss is thinking by reading his body language and the change of attitude towards the employee.

This of course avoids loosing face.

I can very well remember when I had to face such an experience when I was just dispatched to China. 

I got the task to re-organize the seating arrangement for my team.

The first thing I did was to check and get the confirmation from a big boss.

He agreed easily and in my head things were already done and decided.

In order to accomplish the task now, I needed 2 more tables for my team. To get them I had to see the facility manager and just needed to get a layout alteration sheet signed and that’s it.

Motivated and highly energetic I went to see him and was flying over my little speech of change, new department, AND the big boss already approved…

AND he replied: I can not help you.

He said he would need to review the whole seating arrangement and only then might be able to come back to me.

WHAT it is just a signature nothing to be reviewed, A SIGNATURE ONLY!!!!!

Not possible as he is responsible and he needs to review…So I had to wait…

This was a very good first lesson I had to learn:

By asking directly the big boss and not involving the facility manager I did not consider his face. Something in his responsibility was decided without involving him triggered by this young and unknown person.

Note to myself for giving "face":

• Give praise when merited, avoid overpraising.
• Consider sharing personal stories and be personal when engaging with Chinese.
• If there is a mistake, be objective, do not personalize it. 
• Pour tea to the host, my neighbors or big bosses when sitting at a dinner table.
• Invite when possible. At least try to make a hard effort to pay the bill.
• Accept business cards with both hands and read the name on the card consciously.
• Consider a small gift, something personal or typical from Germany.
• Being authentic, show flaws and make flaws. Do not be over-perfect, you are allowed to make a fool of yourself (at karaoke, at the dinner table when it gets late with drinks,…).
• For the alcohol drinkers: when you toast to somebody, lower the boarder of your glass when toasting.
• In negotiations, don't focus on the bottom line, assure that it feels like a compromise.

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