TWELVE TALKS

TO HAVE WITH TEENS

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Talking with your teen about hopefulness & coping

 

If you have a teenager in your life, you know it would be an understatement to say that dealing with the change caused by COVID 19 is “hard.” As weeks turn into months, make sure you talk to your teen directly about coping and what makes them hopeful for the future.

 

Also, let your teen know that Jeffco CTC is starting an Instagram campaign  to help connect teens in doing simple, fun positive coping. They should look for @jeffco_ctc on Instagram.

How to start a conversation about hopefulness & coping

 

Talking to teens about hope and coping might be hard when all of us are dealing with fear, anxiety, financial worries, work pressures, and so much more. Just by having the discussion, you are helping your teen accept and deal with their feelings. As a bonus, teens may have some great insights to share with you. Take some time to talk to the teens in your life about how they are *really* doing.

 

First, find an opening. Some ideas are:

  • When (not if) they complain about online school, respond with something like “Yeah, that’s got to be stressful.” Then, wait and see if they are able to talk about the stress they are feeling.

  • When you notice your teen engaging in coping, point it out: “I love that the way you cope is by making us cookies! Does it help to kind of take your mind off things?” Or “I’m so glad that you have a network of friends that you are keeping up with over the phone.”

  • Ask for their company while demonstrating healthy coping. "I could use a hug if you are willing." "Would you keep me company on a walk around the block? I think I could use some fresh air." Or "Any chance you'd play a game with me? I'm so sick of staring at a screen."

  • Ask your teen to show you funny memes. Share a laugh-- and point out how laughing helps everyone cope with anxiety and changes.

 

Then, ask a question that cannot be answered “yes” or “no” such as:

  • What are your friends doing to cope with all of this?

  • What are your three favorite quarantine activities?

  • What is one thing you’ve read online that gives you hope?

  • So, tell me how you are honestly feeling today.

 

Or… consider a family ritual such as letting everyone light a candle before dinner and saying what they are grateful for; start a “good things” list displayed on the fridge; or leave “what I love about you is your (strength, resilience, ability to express yourself, ability to be silly, etc)” notes in a place they will find it.

 

For resource and more ideas, please visit www.twelvetalks.com. 

Encouraging Healthy Coping

 

According to the CDC and the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, there are specific actions our teens can take to deal with the stress of this situation, including:

 

Make time for unwinding. 

  • Activities like listening to music, talking to a friend, drawing, writing, or spending time with a pet can reduce stress.

  • Make a go-to list of enjoyable activities  and do several of those activities every day. Include several activities that are non-electronic.

  • Laughter is a known stress reducer! 

 

Take care of your body.

  • Exercise regularly.

  • Eat healthy meals.

  • Get enough sleep and have a good sleep routine.

  • Avoid excess caffeine which can increase feelings of anxiety and agitation. Also, avoid nicotine, alcohol and other drugs.

  • Learn relaxation exercises, such as abdominal breathing and muscle relaxation techniques. Take deep breaths, stretch, or meditate.

 

Connect with others. 

  • Talk with people you trust about your concerns and how you are feeling.

  • Look for-- and be!-- a friend who supports positive coping.

  • Look for opportunities to laugh or be silly.

 

Find ways to calm stress and anxiety. 

  • Make a list of what makes school work do-able for you: making lists of what to do each day, putting a schedule up, making your work space nicer, listening to (not distracting) music while you work, having an online study group, etc.

  • Break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.

  • Decrease negative self-talk: challenge negative thoughts with alternative, neutral, or positive thoughts. "My life will never get better” can be transformed into "I may feel hopeless now, but my life will probably get better if I work at it and get some help.”

  • Learn to feel good about doing a competent or "good enough” job rather than demanding perfection from yourself and others. 

  • Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media. Hearing about the pandemic repeatedly can be upsetting. Make sure you access/ share accurate information from reputable sources.

 

Jeffco CTC is asking teens questions related to each coping strategy listed above on Instragram @jeffco_ctc.

Free Online Opportunities for Parents

 

QPR Suicide Prevention Training, now offered online

If someone you know was considering suicide, would you recognize the warning signs and know how to help? Colorado is consistently ranked as one of the top ten states for suicide rates. Learn what you can do to help when someone is in a suicide crisis, and gain the confidence to take action and save a life.

  • Throughout the month of April April, Jeffco PTA is hosting 2-hour QPR Suicide Prevention Training online: http://www.jcpta.org/events/suicide-prevention-training-online/
  • Jefferson Center is also offering QPR training online via Zoom on Wednesday, April 29th from 1-2:30. Space is limited- Please RSVP:
  • https://qpr-april-29-2020.eventbrite.com.

 

Navigating Substance Experimentation in Teens (NSET), now offered online

Hosted by Jefferson County Communities That Care, this free, two-hour workshop offers information and support for parents or caregivers whose teen is experimenting with alcohol, marijuana, vaping and other substances. 

  • April 21st from 9 to 11 AM; to register please visit www.twelvetalks.com/workshops

This project was created by the Jefferson County Communities That Care coalition and is housed within Jefferson County Public Health. This resource was developed with funding from a Communities That Care grant from the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment, a grant from Community First Foundation and a Drug-Free Communities grant from the Office of National Drug Control Policy and Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The views, policies and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the grant providers.

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