It's Fall.  And I'm happy that it is.  It feels like a small milestone in the last year.  To have made it through.    My last newsletter was in April. It has been five months! To be honest, I burned myself out! It takes a lot of work to create newsletters and share work, and I was tired, rushing, and needed a break.  So I took one. 

Here's what I've been up to since April: 

THANK YOU to everyone who supported me in my Studio Sale last Spring! I was able to raise the funds to cover my tuition with NYC Crit Club, which was amazing by the way.  I participated in the Visiting Critic Program that ran from the end of May through June.  I learned SO much and was so happy to be surrounded by such a fantastic, talented group of artists.  Catherine Haggarty is incredible and I was astounded by her knowledge, thoughtful perspective and feedback, and skill at reading and discussing work. 

I was honored to receive a critique from Josephine Halvorson whose art, creative process, and craft are absolutely inspiring.  I was grateful for the thoughtful observations about my work, and the kind words as we discussed loss, grief, and communication in art making.  

One of my favorite quotes from class came from Catherine: "It's not doom.  It just means you care." 

I've continued my web explorations.  I realized that in all of my work, I am longing to communicate with myself, but in these paintings--longing to communicate with my Mom.  I've created several smaller works on paper, but this piece of Khadi Paper is 28" x 40."  I'm still exploring the patterns, shapes, process in order to make the web feel natural, but also continuing to refer back to the illustration on the inner covers of my Mom's copy of Charlotte's Web.  

Truly channeling my inner spider.  

1.  I no longer work at Artist & Craftsman!!!! I miss my coworkers and being around art supplies all day long, but I'm really happy to have made a change that compensates me, allows me to walk to work every single day, and instill some balance in my life.  
 

2. I treated myself to new tubes of gouache as my farewell treat!

3.  I became *obsessed* with painting grass.  I just wanted to be grass.  So I painted my little heart out.  

After my crit group with NYC Crit Club, I started to realize and hone in on some of the subjects that call to me.  I've continue my focus on eyes and the ways they appear to me in the natural world, and become a part of my communication process.  I use eyes as a way of mirroring myself, creating a moment of reflection.  One day, as I was walking up my front steps I was struck by this small web in the grass, covered in hundreds of little dew drops, collected like its own little universe at my front door.  They looked like a hundred little eyes staring back at me and I couldn't get that image or moment out of my head.  

*plein air painting* 

I started plein air painting with my new gouache.  I felt like I wasn't getting outside enough... seizing the sunny days?  I also wasn't sure what to make.  And I just wanted to practice, and paint, and dive into the process of it.  I wanted to explore and not be scared.  Oddly enough, this felt like a way to do that.  

I can't believe it's Fall in the way that I can't believe it's been a year since my Mom died.  I can't believe it has been a year on this earth without her.  I think about her everyday.  Sometimes, all at once, I find myself in shock because I can't believe this is my life. I made this painting a couple of days after her one year anniversary.  Thinking of her, dark blue, and the stars. 

and that brings us to now...

I just started a new sketchbook, I'm continuing to work with gouache, and slowing down my process in order to balance my life out a bit more.  Next week I'm going out to California to visit my family in Berkeley.  I'm going to see Phoebe Bridgers!!!!! I was accepted into NYC Crit Club's Fall Session and will be taking History and Theory of Drawing on Monday evenings with Catherine Haggarty.  I will be featured on Flo Edward's radio show, "In The Pocket" on WMPG (date TBD). And on the 22nd of October, I will be participating in the Encore of Nexus.Portl in Congress Square Park in Portland after a successful debut on the 1st for First Friday.  

I'm excited to start my class at the end of the month.  If I get it together, I'd like to add more small work up on my site, but there is still a handful of items for sale up there.  Visit my shop if you'd like to buy some art and help me raise funds to cover tuition costs and supplies! 

Thank you for reading if you made it this far.  I hope the beginning of Fall is treating you well.  Let me know if you liked the newsletter!  And I'll see you next month with another one.  <3 raquel