Being Judged on Your Path
There came a time in my journey where the choice between my growth, desires, and wants in life, really dove away from what others were doing. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m an older soul, someone who has always seen life a little differently than others, or if I’m simply the kind of 'growth/evolution hungry' human.
But when I started to live out my truth, it was the first time it was apparent to others that I was different. I always knew it. I always felt it. Yet, up until college, I succumbed to the social pressure of doing what the others were doing, without really diving into and questioning my own being. I wore the same styles that my friends in high school did. I joined a sorority in college (which is a wonderful thing to do, by the way! I totally support joining an organization of some sort in college, despite their stereotypes!), and felt the need to do the same things the other girls in my community were doing. I approached the romantic relationship I was in in high school/college the same way my best friend did.
I followed 'the thing'... y’know.
But the day I decided that I would do the things I was called to do, and I said “no” to going to events that got in the way of that— people noticed. I’d be lying if I said they didn’t. To be fair, they didn’t notice right off the bat. But after a while, it was pretty apparent that I was doing things my own way.
That feeling— the feeling of feeling and doing things differently— at the time, really made me feel independent, yet incredibly lonely and quite frankly, pretty close to terrible. I longed to go back to the days where I succumbed to the way others were doing things, but that didn’t feel right either. There was no going back now. I was committed to the journey.
It took me a few years to find a balance. To not care what others thought, to do my own thing. And it also took me a few years to not completely isolate myself from those who were doing life their own way. To find a balance between my own journey and my community. To find a community that I really clicked with, and to find a path that I really felt I should be on. And even longer (were talking up until this year) to admit to myself that the path I was on, was really where I was supposed to be, that I wasn’t an imposter in this new field I was in. But imposter syndrome is a topic for another day.
I guess all I’m saying is that, YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE!
If you feel alone, or you feel like you’re holding back, or you feel different from others, or you feel like maybe you’re not cut out for your current goals, or you feel like you’ve perhaps taken your journey too far, or even perhaps you haven’t taken steps yet, I get it. I’ve been in all of these places. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. You’ll get there in due time. Just don’t give up. Our lives are a constant journey, and yet a constant presence of being exactly where we should be. With the right challenges and decisions right in front of us.
Where it leads you; who it brings you to; and what you get out of it,
will be.
Allow it to be.
Simply allow this moment.
Allow opportunities.
And if you want to try something new, go for it. And heck what other people think.
Allow them to be on their own paths. Respect their journey.
Encourage and support them. Be there for them.
And realize that what they think about you, means nothing about your own beliefs about yourself.
Do you, boo.
