And now the debut of a (potential) new column...
NBRF is committed to telling our readers the good, the bad, and the ugly. We share our successes. We share our heartbreaks. We keep you abreast of our pressing needs. It is our hope we can also make you laugh from time to time. We thought it would be nice to offer a humorous perspective on life, dogs, and rescue. This column will be peppered randomly into our Borzoi Bulletin...unless you hate it.
Then you'll never see this sucker again.
Welcome to
The Lighter Side with Lesley
Every organization needs a useful idiot. I am ours; and I am TOTALLY okay with that.
I have always been a dog lover. I do not recall a single time of my life without a dog in it. Nine years ago, I got my first borzoi and have never looked back. I hope to never spend another day without this breed.
Obviously, I consider myself a "dog person."
Oh, little did I know how very little I do know. (This is called foreshadowing...)
You see, I now know I am a dog person (lowercase); but I’m not a DOG PERSON (ALL CAPS). Frankly, I didn’t recognize the enormous chasm between those two until I began working with NBRF. I am surrounded by extremely knowledgeable teammates. Each of these ladies is a DOG PERSON and I basically serve as their comic relief.
And they still let me write stories! How awesome is that?!
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An excerpt from the conversation after my first collection of a surrendered dog:
Teammate: Well how old is she?
Me: I don’t know. She didn’t tell me.
Teammate: Did you look in her mouth?
Me: For what?
Teammate: Did you check her teeth to see approximately how old she is?
Me: (lightbulb appears) Ohhhh, ok. Yeah, sorry but you’ve got the wrong girl for that. If I looked in her mouth, I could tell you: 1) She definitely HAS teeth -OR-
2) Nope, just gums in there.
Teammate: Do you know how many teeth a borzoi is supposed to have?
Me: Listen. Let me just say that she could get through a steak...EVEN if it was overcooked, OK? So, stop with the teeth already.
Teammate: (laughing)
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From an interview with a teammate in preparation for a story I was writing:
Teammate: We got the report from the vet and <medical word, expensive procedure, list of prescriptions, current diagnosis, medical word, medical word, theory of events, medical word, potential therapies> ...and then he'll need crate rest.
Me: (taking notes feverishly)
Teammate: Lesley?
Me: I’m so sorry. Was there a question there?
Teammate: Ummm YES.
Me: OK! I understood “crate rest.” Please say all of that again… but pretend I am 7 years old. I wouldn’t be offended if you sent coloring book sheets to aid in my understanding.
Teammate: (laughing)
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From the follow-up call after I'd taken possession of an international rescue from a transport professional:
Teammate: Did you feel his balls?
Me: (...crickets...)
Teammate: Did you feel the dog's balls?
Me: No. We literally *just* met.
Teammate: Did you run your hands over his body?
Me: Yes. Yes, I did.
Teammate: But you didn’t feel his balls... to make sure it's plural?
Me: No, I did NOT.
Teammate: I guess I just automatically do that.
Me: Historically, I’ve waited until after the 3rd date.
Teammate: (laughing)
Authored by Lesley Ohmann, Communications Coordinator and Court Jester
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