The first of the books that I read #Saynotobullying, was a horrifying but hypnotising read. From the highly evocative picture on the front cover of the book of a small girl perched on the edge of a cliff with a larger girl looming over her, and then you notice the shadows of dozens of larger people behind the bigger girl.
There are descriptions of bullying by colleagues, bullying by Managers, leading, of course, to bullying of women and detrimental outcomes. As our Statutory Body, the Nursing and Midwifery Council , is one of the biggest perpetrators of bullying and unkind treatment of midwives, followed up by the inept Royal College of Midwives our profession is steeped in bullying and cruelty. I wept over descriptions of beautiful, visionary student midwives just hanging on until they finished their training – and then leaving. All that effort, all that hard work, all that money wasted. A qualified midwife with nothing to show for it but student debt and PTSD. Unbelievably sad.
So many accounts of midwives who have left the profession but are heartbroken, because it is a job like no other and they miss it so much. The good bits, that is. The being with women, the supporting a woman in labour, the teaching about feeding and bathing, the interaction with the family, the privilege of being included in a special time, the whole miracle of birth.
Some midwives were singled out as being kind and supportive despite the carnage around them. “Some midwives are angels in disguise, I was welcomed with a very bright good morning. Even this is enough to change the whole day! I cannot describe what a difference it is to have supportive and nurturing mentors.”
The book is horrendous, it will make you cry, it will make you frustrated but I was impressed by the list of “demands of this movement” , they are very sensible , and basically I am very glad that I read it. It brought all sorts of emotions. Remembrance of being bullied as a student midwife, shame at being part of bullying, just standing there and not speaking out. Horrid memories of being bullied as President of the Royal College of Midwives, being bullied as an experienced midwife and always being grateful to Giles, my husband, a lawyer who always supported me and helped me stand up for myself, and his support of my friends who always seemed to be in trouble (tall poppies).
The demands of this movement are that the government:
LISTEN
The All Party Parliamentary Group and health ministers concerned with maternity need an urgent consultation with us to undertake a system wide diagnosis to address the immediate crisis.
(Maybe the All Party Parliamentary Group on Birth Trauma starting this week could be the beginnings of this).
FUND
An immediate, appropriate, restorative pay rise for midwives that reflects the value society places on their vital work. Award recruitment and retention payments for new entrants and existing staff. Provide financial support for student midwives and create posts for all newly qualified midwives.
ENABLE
Make it possible for self-employed midwives to work, thus putting 250 experienced midwives immediately back into the workforce.
REDUCE
Provide £5m of crisis funding to 3rd sector organisations for the provision of breastfeeding support and antenatal education to reduce the pressure on midwifery staff.
The idea of bringing Self Employed midwives back into mainstream midwifery is so sensible. Those very experienced midwives who have so much to give and have a completely different perspective are so valuable. They are often quite difficult people, mainly because of all they have suffered at the hands of the profession but their knowledge is priceless and much needed.
Then I read “Flourish” by Kate Greenstock.
What a difference and what a relief. Here are gentle and kind words explaining why we are in this state – describing what it is about our profession that makes it so hard. I felt such relief at just reading the words, I’m not going mad, this is REAL!
The book is in two parts, the first describes what is happening to us and why, and the second part consists of exercises to help us. So the conclusions are:
· You do something hard
· Which puts you at risk of psychological harm
· It also puts you at risk of physical harm (think bad backs and Type 2 diabetes from night shifts)
· Your chosen work also introduces an aspect of vulnerability and unpredictability into your life as things can and will go wrong at times.
This is just a short example, there are more, each interesting and identifying for you things you really knew subconsciously but have never acknowledged. Kate goes on to describe the conflict when trying to be honest with a woman but knowing that this will conflict with all that she has been told by the Obstetricians and other midwives and also that you only have a very few minutes to engage in conversation because so many of your colleagues are off sick. What happens to your psyche when your beliefs and your actions are at odds?
She outlines the impact of a “fear based culture” with fear of litigation and deregistration as just part of a food chain of frightening fears. That exposure to a near miss, such as shoulder dystocia, can be mitigated by conversations with the family involved and with support from your colleagues – both of which are unavailable to the majority of midwives working fragmented shift patterns with different colleagues every day and unknown families to care for. You begin to see how harmful the very way we work is to us.
Kate’s wise and compassionate take on how we are working at the moment is very refreshing and then in Part 2 she lists many, many exercises and tricks that help you to cope with the stress. From breathing exercises to thinking around a problem. Exercises to do with trusted friends or as a Team, ways to think differently and to help us to cope.
This is a wonderful book, sent to us at just the right time. Reading the two books has been a real leap in my education. Thank you to the Authors of both – very timely.
