September 11, 2024
Dear MM Community:
When I committed to this journey, my expectations were to grow this community over a period of 2-5 years, not a few weeks or months. As the saying goes, 1% per day. These first couple newsletters have primarily served to establish new processes and habits for myself but also to get you caught up on my backstory. Regarding the latter…
Not sure what I mean by this Mindful Manhood crap? Thank you, you've been paying attention because actually, I haven't spelled anything out yet! Here's some hints:
I retired from classroom teaching after 20 years and I miss that shit! In the short term I'll be tapping this need by creating educational content. In the long term, I’ll expand my focus to include in-person workshops and seminars. Although I taught Introductory Psychology for 5 years, I ultimately fell in love with teaching human sexuality which I was fortunate to experience for another 15 years. In 2015, I combined my teaching interests with my psychotherapy practice and rebranded my private practice to focus almost exclusively on sex and relationship therapy.
Having studied psychology since 1984, and taken the Buddhist precepts in 1992, I am well-versed in the power of the mind to overcome and adapt. Thus, a large portion of my writing will be on the power of mental skills training as it applies to sexuality.
I have also played sports my entire life, including football in college and rugby in graduate school although these days it’s mostly running and mountain biking. The use of athletics will likely be an entry point to discuss sexuality for many of the penis owners I'm aiming at. However, as we all know, there’s more to life than sports so expect consistent doses of other physical self-care activities, especially creative expression, and being in nature.
That's me in a nutshell and you can count on these topics being heavily favored. If there are relevant topics that you'd like to explore, lemme know. I've probably got something to say, or at least resources to share. Also, I welcome your feedback, even critical, as long as it's couched in terms of how great and near perfect I am. Anything other than that will simply not get read. 🤣
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Given that I’m hopelessly pragmatic, I’ve included a checklist below that I created for clients who have become somewhat rigid in their self-pleasuring habits (no pun intended). While solo sex isn’t necessarily problematic, the sensations we might get accustomed to during masturbation may not even be possible during team sex; e.g. some with moral imperatives against touching themselves have found creative ways to hump objects that aren’t always transferable to a human body. When that becomes the ONLY way they get off…they give me a call.
I’m aware that most of you probably do not have this concern. No shame if you do. But if you’re not experiencing any difficulties, perusing the checklist might be a source of ideas for introducing some novelty into your self-indulgence routine. You’re welcome! And your partners are welcome too!!!
Masturbation Habits Checklist
For each of the 14 factors, ask yourself whether each one tends to stay the same or change.
Time of day? (e.g. morning, bed time)
Location? (e.g. bed, shower, kitchen closet)
Body position? (e.g. face down, standing up)
Body movement? (e.g. rocking hips, spreading legs, laying completely still)
Hand pressure? (e.g. death grip, feathery touch)
Grip or hand position? (e.g. right hand, full fist, inverted hand)
Rhythm? (e.g. same strokes per minute, varied, start slow and end fast)
Pacing? (e.g. linear, take time to sink into feelings, riding waves)
Duration? (e.g. 1 minute, 5 minutes, 1 hour)
Urgency? (e.g. hurried, no rush)
Mood? (e.g. anxious, relaxed)
Visual or fantasy stimulus? (e.g. tall blonde amateur porn, BDSM fantasy)
Vocalizations? (e.g. silent, moaning, talking out loud)
Toys, props, and materials?
If you know someone who might be interested in the content I am focusing on, please share the newsletter as well as my social media:
Have a peaceful and pleasureful week!
Korey
Korey McWilliams, MA, MS
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
koreymc@gmail.com
