'Caring for myself is not self indulgence, it is self preservation and that is an act of political warfare.'
Audre Lorde, from A Burst of Light; American feminist and poet
Today is International Women's Day and I would like to take this opportunity to share with you some important information which impacts women. This newsletter is a little more like a small magazine and is a little more obviously political than usual. I say 'obviously' because those of you who are long term subscribers will know that when I share how we can heal ourselves - all of us, men and women - often this makes my newsletters political. Like the quote above from Audre Lorde, encouraging bodily autonomy, healing from trauma, strengthening boundaries, restoring personal power, honouring our experiences and fostering love for ourselves and others in a society which discourages this, is rebellious and, by definition, political. As a woman in a society where all of these things continually sustain repeated attempts to breach them, and in turn need ongoing healing, my sharing of the ways we can heal ourselves is a political act.
This newsletter is specially dedicated for International Women's Day today.
We are currently at a point in history where the definition of woman is intending to change in Scottish law. If the Hate Crime Bill is passed, women stating that our sex is a biological reality and that the word woman only applies to this reality will be a crime. If I were to write this after the bill is passed in its current form, according to the bill this would be hate speech. This is not some dystopian sci-fi future, this is our current reality.
Many women have deep concerns for the implications of this bill on free speech and women's rights. For Women Scotland, have been challenging the Scottish Government for many months over the definition of 'woman' in the Gender Representation on Public Boards (Scotland) Act 2018. They believe 'it leaves us with a definition that includes some men, while, remarkably, excluding some women.' They are concerned, as we all should be, that the Equality Act may be eroded.
I understand that many of you may be unaware that this has been happening. I also understand that many of you may be shocked at what is occurring, and we should be. Perhaps some of you have been involved in discussions about this. Some of you may even have been shunned, derided or called phobic for views supporting women. You may even have lost friends over a difference of opinion. If this is the case, you are not alone. I am finding that many female clients feel unable to discuss this openly with their friends and families, already silenced by the fear of repercussions for standing up for their own sex.
The mainstream media has not been particularly vocal on this at all and social media, specifically Twitter, is full of abuse aimed at women who voice their concerns about this bill. Many women are expressing how angry and frustrated they are that how we define ourselves as a sex class is being changed without our consultation, and by speaking up they are verbally abused and threatened. This further compounds how important it is that we are able to name ourselves, that the law protects our voices and how essential it is that we have safe spaces for ourselves.
'If I didn’t define myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.'
Audre Lorde, during a speech at Harvard University, 1982
Changing the definition of 'woman' or omitting it when describing our biological experiences deeply affects women. You may have noticed recently, especially in social media, that women are now being referred to as 'menstruators', 'pregnant persons', 'gestational parents', 'birthing bodies', 'chest feeders', 'vagina owners' and 'uterus havers'. I did not make these up. These have all been terms used by companies and organisations - including Cancer Research UK - who are adopting this language under the guise of 'inclusivity'. This is essentially reinforcing misogyny and sexism by reducing women to body parts and it dehumanises us. Can you imagine giving your Gestational Parent a card this Sunday, on Birthing Body Day, that says 'Have a wonderful day, Uterus Haver x'?. No, me neither.
There is only one sex that menstruates, that carries a growing child in their body, that undergoes childbirth, that experiences menopause. Not all women do but only women do.
We must be able to name ourselves and our sex-based experiences. If the term woman becomes inclusive to all, then what are we? Are we an identity to appropriate, a stereotyped character to step in and out of?
'I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain. The intense, often unmitigated pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain.'
Audre Lorde, The Transformation of Silence into Language & Action
Women cannot step out of, or identify out of, our sex-based oppression. Every 6 hours, a woman is murdered, a victim of domestic violence perpetrated by male partners or male family members. Female foetuses continue to be aborted for the sole reason that they are female and not male. In India, this female infanticide is so prevalent that police track groups of men who have access to ultrasound technology, which determine the sex of the foetus, and abort these female foetuses for profit. (The article I have linked to does not even have the respect to say 'sex' and uses 'gender' instead - they are not the same thing.)
There are young girls who continue to be mutilated by FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) every single day. The incredible campaigner and author of 'Cut', Hibo Wardere, was subjected to FGM at 6 years old. She recently received online abuse for her anti-FGM campaigns; opponents complained that her campaigns were adversely affecting other 'genders', claiming that Hibo and other women who were victims of FGM were privileged because they had female genitals to butcher. (Yes, you read that right.)
These are crimes that are based on our biological sex. Violence against women is perpetrated by men to control women's bodies, thoughts, actions and labour. If we are told that we don't exist in our bodies and that anyone can become us through their thoughts and feelings, this means that women are considered intellectual property and not human beings with our own rights. Which leads me to another unsavoury reality. There are many reasons why some want to deny our biology; one is that if anyone can claim to be a woman then men become justified to legislate on laws that affect women, effectively ignoring our female experiences and rights, and having legal claim over what we do with our bodies.
'It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences.' Audre Lorde, in Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
There was a recent amendment to the Forensic Medical Services Bill that deeply affected survivors of sexual abuse. An amendment was recommended that the word 'gender' was to be replaced by the word 'sex' and this was to be voted on in the Scottish Parliament. This was met with some very strong opposition. Rape Crisis Scotland pushed for it to remain 'gender' and not 'sex', which was a worrying revelation for such an organisation. Why was this worrying?
The change from 'gender' to sex' was important because if males who 'self identified' as women were conducting intimate forensic examinations of female victims who reported male perpetrated sexual assault (females rape victims) this could cause re-traumatisation. It also meant that if female victims specifically requested a woman to examine them, without the definition between gender and sex, a male bodied examiner who 'identifies' as a woman could be the examiner. For victims, a male bodied examiner - no matter how they present - can feel like another violation. Without this change, many women felt this essentially prioritised the feelings of the examiner over those of the rape victim. Women were outraged. I personally wrote to my local MPs. Out of eight, only two wrote back to confirm they would support the amendment.
The data shows us that around 90% of sexual offenders are men. The greater the lack of distinction between male and female, the more data will become meaningless and the less we as women will be able to call for desperately needed services and changes. As more men who 'self ID' as women are processed as women in the criminal justice system, the more the data will become meaningless. Male crimes will be recorded as the crimes of women. There is the recent case in Limerick, Ireland of a man who self identified as a woman and was placed in a female prison. He had 10 counts of sexual assault and one count of cruelty to a child.
This is why single sex considerations are important. There is nothing exclusionary about this; it is our duty as empathetic and humane beings to acknowledge, honour and prioritise the safety, physical reality and experiences of female victims of male violence, and call it as it is.
Monkland's Women's Aid, an organisation that provides specialist domestic abuse services and support to women and children in North Lanarkshire, is one of three organisations in the area that has recently been defunded by North Lanarkshire Council (NLC). The reason? NLC states:
'Gaps in wider equality agenda were identified when NLC undertook a review of domestic abuse services across NLC. NLC made a decision to widen the context and broaden their inclusivity to fill identified gaps; services for men and perpetrator programmes.'
Monklands Women's Aid, like many single sex services, is designed to offer support to women and children affected by male violence and it was de-funded by NLC because Monklands Women's Aid did not make provision for men - including men who have perpetrated abuse on women - in a space for women who have been beaten, abused, raped and traumatised by men. No one, especially not women, is saying that men do not need similar support services, ofcourse they do. But they cannot be in the same spaces as women, for which are obvious reasons. Single sex spaces are now being de-funded under the guise of inclusivity but sadly it's the same old misogyny wearing a new disguise. At time when domestic violence has rapidly increased during lockdowns, NLC have failed women and children trapped in these situations.
'In our work and in our living, we must recognize that difference is a reason for celebration and growth, rather than a reason for destruction.'
Audre Lorde, from Black Women Writers at Work
Between 2016 and 2017, the numbers of females undergoing gender surgery quadrupled in the US. Four times as many girls and young women than previously recorded underwent mastectomies and phalloplasty, and that was over 4 years ago. We have to look at why record levels of young women want to undergo surgery and lifelong medications that irreversibly change and damage their bodies.
Being a woman means always looking out for your safety and assessing how your appearance may be perceived. This is not an exaggeration, this is every woman's every day, and we should not have to share our trauma in order for this to be believed. During the recent winter, I was walking home at 4.30pm. It was dark and rainy. I was walking down what is usually a busy street but there was no one there but me and a hazy male figure at the other end, around half a mile away, coming towards me. He was tall, dressed in black. Going by his walk, he looked young and strong. In the bag he was carrying was something heavy. I was already assessing my exit strategies. Could I get to the busy main street quickly? Would someone hear something or am I too far away? Could I go down this lane instead? But then that's dark and hidden. How loud would I have to scream to have someone in the main street hear me? As he approached he put his hood up and then pulled a scarf up around his face. I could not see what he looked like - he is completely non-descript should I have to go to the police. We passed each other and as he passed, I immediately turned around to look at him.
He continued walking, completely oblivious to how we both had completely different experiences. He, looking forward to getting home with his carry out (the heavy thing in the bag) and me, relieved that I was safe. This man had no idea this would be literally every woman's response to him. I wished that more men would be open to understanding our experiences of the world and how it is so much more different than theirs. I wish they would adapt their behaviour instead of us having to adapt ours continually to ensure a basic right such as safety. Every woman reading this will understand this. This is the world our daughters will grow up in.
So, is it any wonder that our teenage girls, faced with their burgeoning womanhood and all of the injustice this brings for them in the world - the huge risk of verbal and physical abuse and violence just because they are women - that they want to escape the physical and social reality of being a woman?
'The love expressed between women is particular and powerful because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival.'
Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches
In the fairytale Little Red Riding Hood, the Big Bad Wolf stalks Little Red Riding Hood through the forest. Having just said goodbye to her mother, she is on her travels to visit her grandmother, and she is approached by The Big Bad Wolf. She innocently tells him where she is going. Wolf would like to eat Little Red Riding Hood but perhaps he will be seen if he does this in the forest. So he encourages her to wander from the path and pick flowers for her grandmother and, as she does this, the Wolf goes ahead to her grandmother's house. To gain entry, he pretends to be Little Red Riding Hood. He swallows the grandmother and puts on the grandmother's clothes, pretends to be her and lies in wait for Little Red Riding Hood.
At the beginning of Red Riding Hood's travels, her mother is at home, being strict about her sticking to walking the path, and at the other end of her travels is her grandmother. There are two women at both ends of her travels but in between she must walk on her own in a world where there are unknown, hidden dangers for Little Red Riding Hood. Having walked this path herself, Red Riding Hood's mother knows what they are and tells her to stay on the path where she will be safe. Wolf distracts her off this path so that he has the opportunity to get rid of her grandmother, one of her protectors. and then he can eat Little Red Riding Hood.
Why have I put this story here? Well, women are the gatekeepers. Generally, we are the protectors, carers, nurturers, defenders of children. This does not always mean that everyone has had protective, nurturing mothers or female figures in their lives as many have not. But, generally, women are considered the first line of defence to their children. Mature and elder women have walked these roads and understand the dangers that lie in the forest when we can be tricked away from our path.
The vast majority of women who are currently being verbally attacked and threatened for expressing their concerns in these matters are middle aged and elder women; in other words, the gatekeepers. When the concerns and words of these women are ignored and ridiculed or, even worse, deliberately misconstrued and used against us, we are in danger of being swallowed up.
We are duty bound to the girls and young women of this world to ensure their world is a safer, more respectful place for them, and we can do this by being confident role models, proud and strong women.
'When we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard nor welcomed, but when we are silent we are still afraid, so it is better to speak.'
Audre Lorde, The Black Unicorn: Poems
I have felt passionately about this for some time, sitting on the sidelines watching what has been unfolding and I have got increasingly worried about what I am seeing. Not only does this directly affect me as a woman but it also affects me as a healer. I would not be offering my services in good faith if I was compelled to think that only gender matters and that biology does not. Biology defines our life experiences. Understanding the lived experiences of biological reality is crucial in healing, for both women and men.
I know women who have experienced the most traumatic - and sometimes near death - experiences of childbirth; women who have suffered abuse and male violence; women whose souls, needs and desires have been sacrificed for the feelings of their family. I will not deny them their stories and experiences of being women that are unique to women. To do so is to contribute to the continual weeping of their wounds, unhealed because they are unheard. To have our stories heard is the first step to healing. I will not pretend either that men can know of these experiences because of a thought or feeling they have. To partake in this is to deny both the experiences of women, and these male bodied people who feel this way.
By the same token, I know men who have suffered health difficulty from specifically male biological experiences and I will not deny these either. I will not pretend that these would not exist or not be a risk to male health if a man decides to 'identify' as a woman. Pretending that women are men and men are women does everyone a disservice. Biology matters. This is very much the case in screening for cancers. The tendency to use language like 'cervix havers' in campaigns to encourage women to go for cervical cancer screening is marginalising women, specifically women whose first language is not English and those who do not know what a cervix is or if they have one. Many women do not know their own bodies because there is often shame attached to female bodies and their functions.
Recent studies have shown that in blood transfusions, the sex of the donor and the recipient matters when matching.
'Sex-mismatched transfusions were associated with an increased risk of death in this pooled analysis....The need to match donor and recipient sex for transfusions requires further investigation because of the potential widespread impact.'
It appears that men are more likely to suffer adverse effects when given blood from a woman and women are at higher risk of being 'over-transfused'; this is due to the differences in male and female coagulation and protein properties in their blood.
Speaking about women's rights is not hate speech. Men and women are both constrained by stereotypes and it is the stereotypes we must dismantle not the definition of woman. We must open up a discussion of our stereotyped roles in society and the constraints these put upon us. We are not going to change this until we acknowledge it. When we have restrictive ideas of what men and women should be, when we don't fall into the constraints of the stereotype of our sex category then the conclusion appears to be that we must be the other. This is deeply regressive for both sexes, but it currently appears to be especially damaging for women and our spaces.
'When I dare to be powerful—to use my strength in the service of my vision—then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.'
Audre Lorde, The Transformation of Silence into Language & Action
Women are incredibly powerful. Hugely so. Our power is infinite, unfathomable, world changing. This, I believe, is one of the reasons why we are so oppressed.
If it cannot be captured - and it cannot - then it must be crushed.
There are however, those men who want to stand in our light. They want to help us carry our torches. They are bedazzled and beguiled by us. They find us wondrous and unknowable, frustrating but fascinating. There are all kinds of men out there who adore us - the all kinds of us - and they know we are sacred powerhouses of incredible creation. So, this is also a call to those men. Support us.
How Do We Support Our Rights?
The Hate Crime Bill reaches the final stage in its passage through Parliament this coming Wednesday 10th March, when MSPs consider the final amendments and vote on whether the Bill passes into legislation. You can find your local MPs here
If you feel that you are called to action, you can:
1. Email your MPs before Wednesday. I have included a template email below (Further details on this bill and the amendments can be found here).
Dear {Name},
I am writing to you ask you how you intend to vote on Wednesday in regard to the Hate Crime Bill, and I urge you to SUPPORT the following:
- Amendment 4 by Johann Lamont to add sex as characteristic to Part 1 of the Bill (aggravation of offences).
- Amendment 17 by Johann Lamont to add the definition of sex, as it is given in the Equality Act 2010.
- Amendment 26 by Johann Lamont to remove the possibility for sex to be redefined.
- Amendments 35, 36, 39 & 40 by Johann Lamont to change the definition of sexual orientation.
- Amendments 37 & 41 by Johann Lamont
- Amendments 6-10 and 13 by Liam Kerr to leave out Part 2 of the Bill.
It is essential for your female constituents for you to support Amendments 11B-11F by Johann Lamont.
I urge you to REJECT Amendment 24 by Humza Yousaf.
Your sincerely,
{Your name}
2. Take Good Care Of Yourself
You are an incredible powerhouse but it cannae run on empty.
3. Follow Like Minded Women
Twitter: #WomenWontWheesht #WomenAreWatching #NotOurCrimes
For Women Scotland
Women Speak Scotland - Manifesto For Women's Rights
The Radical Notion
4. Create
Express yourself in whatever way you feel called to. Paint, build, cook, construct, sing, dance, play.
5. Donate
For Women Scotland are a group of women who volunteer their time and expertise and are fighting the case for women's rights and equality in Scotland. They incur legal fees and crowdfund for this as they are not funded or aligned with any political party.
6. Support Like Minded Women In Business
Like minded women like me :-)
Much love,
Andrea
